Name: DUH It's a Snake!
Uploaded: 2022-02-11T05:20:48.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'DUH It's a Snake!' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'DUH It's a Snake!' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-11. Transcript available.

I make mistakes. It takes a big man to admit that he makes mistakes. I'll tell
you that right now.
A big man to admit that he makes mistakes. A small man would not admit that he
makes...
That's a huge...
That's a snake!
What can you tell us about this snake, man?
Well, did I mention that he bites?
Yes!
Okay. Well, other than that, he can swim in the water, and he's a very good
swimmer.
He'll hold his breath for up to an hour.
You don't say. He bites, huh?
Wow. It's really big.
Well, that's because this guy over here is albino.
Albino. Everyone makes fun of him.
Oh, look at that.
Him and...
Him and...
Him and...
Him and...
Him and Anamigat seem to be kicking it off.
All right. Okay.
Well, we really have to be talking to Simon Hedberg, you know?
You're welcome.
It's been quite a terrifying surprise.
There we go.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
Oh, my God.
Oh, boy.
I wish those animals never existed.
It was way cooler than those dogs.
Yeah.
Do you know, if it wasn't for those animals, we'd all be living in a garden.
I'll tell you, that's the last time we had any animal handlers on this show.
I thought it was pretty cool.
It was pretty cool.
I was with that.
No, no, I'm sorry.
Well, I'll tell you, I don't know why I'm saying all this.
We'll be back after the break with the great Simon Hedberg.
Ow! Ow! My leg!
You all right?
What the fuck, man?
Is the snakes out?
The snake, Michelle, come get the snake.
You all right?
Grab the snake.
You all right?
You all right?
Get the snake.
My calf is all purple, and I have two red puncture marks on it.
Yeah, that's probably from where the snake bit you.
That's probably from where the snake bit me?
Yeah.
Duh.
Duh.
Hey, Adam.
Yeah.
You remember earlier when you said that's probably from where the snake bit me?
Duh.
You have about nine minutes and 15 seconds.
Oh, God.
Hold on.
It's important, it says here, it's important to remain calm, and you need to
get your heart
rate down.
Let's check your pulse.
So you're telling me that I have nine minutes to live because snake venom is
coursing through
my heart, and at the same time, you're telling me this would be a good time to
remain calm.
Yeah.
Duh.
I've got to suck out the venom.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Okay, let's do it.
All right, give me your calf.
It's right in the calf there.
All right.
Oh, thanks, Adam.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, you suck that venom out.
That's nice.
Suck it out good.
Oh, yeah, that's nice.
Oh, yeah, you fucking like that, huh?
You like sucking that fucking pre-venom?
Huh?
No.
Huh?
No, I don't like it at all.
I'm just trying to help you out.
No, I understand that, but I mean, I meant to say thank you.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Yeah, fucking suck that venom.
Yeah, you fucking suck that fucking venom.
Yeah, you want to spit it out?
You got a fucking mouth loaded.
Ah, fucking shoot it out of your face, you fucking god.
You fucking whore.
Ah!
Oh, thanks, dude.
I didn't get any of that in my mouth.
Yeah, no problem, man.
We'll be back with Simon Helbert.
You fucking sit down.