Name: Happy Valentines Day
Uploaded: 2022-02-14T05:28:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Happy Valentines Day' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Happy Valentines Day' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-14. Transcript available.

At a Veterans Hospital in the Bronx yesterday, four Playboy Playmates were on
hand to wish the residents a Happy Valentine's Day.
One veteran who was there called it an afternoon of, quote, hellish, agonizing
sexual frustration.
And finally, first place in Weekend Update's Most Romantic Valentine Contest
goes to David Della Ferra of Kearney, New Jersey.
And coming in last place for the third year in a row, O.J. Simpson.
Hey, everybody. My mother and I are here to tell you some Valentine's Day jokes.
Where did all the hamburgers take their girls on Valentine's Day?
The meatball.
How does a phone propose to his girlfriend on Valentine's Day?
He gave her a ring.
Forty years ago, on Valentine's Day, I met a girl on a train.
She had dark hair and smelled of lavender.
What did the girl cat say to the boy cat on Valentine's Day?
You are perfect for me.
If you were a triangle, I bet you'd be a cute one.
What is the difference between the girl who is sick of her boyfriend and the
sailor that falls into the ocean?
One's bored over a man, and the other is a man overboard.
Ultimately, her father didn't approve.
And in the middle of the night, I was escorted away by his private security.
But every year, I go to that train station, and I look for that girl.
I've never found her.
I've never found her.
Knock, knock.
She had a small dove tattooed to the inside of her wrist.
You're supposed to say, who's there?
Who's there?
All of you.
All of you.
I love you.
I love you.
You kissed your majesty in Canada?
Yeah.
How old were you?
I was like seven.
On the lips?
Yeah, on the lips.
This is what happened.
Nobody wanted to be my valentine.
Oh, no.
We had an odd number of people in our class.
So you went up to her?
So I got molested.
Dream date with Norm.
Who wants a dream date with Norm?
Why sit home alone?
Just pick up the phone.
Warning, when Norm comes to your house,
you will look nothing like this.
Do not operate Norm while intoxicated.
The producers are not responsible for Norm's behavior.