Name: Furious Whacking Off
Uploaded: 2022-02-20T04:10:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Furious Whacking Off' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Furious Whacking Off' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-20. Transcript available.

there's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck one is like we
said to escape this worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have and the
second reason we hang ourselves from the neck is to whack off these guys I don't
understand it's got autoerotic asphyxiation it's a big fancy word but it's a
filthy thing
and this is my problem with it the risk reward and I know the reward because I
read about it like
apparently by cutting off the oxygen or something like that you increase your
orgasm until it's one
and a half times as powerful as the one you had the Thursday before last but is
that really that
important I mean we have a lot of things in this country it's you know it's
raining in the forest
there's all kinds of shit we have to think about let alone whacking off that's
our big problem
but the risk good lord
I never opened up about my own sex
but I will right now I'm bad at whacking off what bad at it yeah how could you
be bad yeah I know you
I think it would be easy it would be fortunate you cannot make yourself calm oh
I can but at the wrong times and
I don't know I didn't know I didn't know I didn't even know about the lotion
- 'Til when?
- 'Til somebody that was intimate with me said,
"What are all those big red scabs on your tuck?"
And I was like, "That's from my fucking furious whacking off."
- When was this? How many years ago?
- I used like gloves.
- What kind of gloves?
- Sandpaper.
No, look, I'm not good at sex.
- No, at all?
- No, nothing, I'm not--
- It doesn't interest you.
- That's the reason.
- You gotta be interested in something.
This is my move, first of all,
I'm not good at getting ladies.
- Because you don't care.
- Yeah, so I'll try to, like, I try to make it fast.
Like, if I see a girl drinking at a bar, right?
I'll go up behind her, I'll go, "I can get us a bottle."
And that doesn't work very often.
But sometimes it does. - You just wanna get right.
- Yeah, I wanna get right.
Then I get the lady, I turn off all the lights in the room
so it's pitch black, and then I lay down on top of her.
- For five, ten minutes.
- And I don't get a lot of return, uh, people.
- That doesn't go, no.
- But you remind me of a guy that's good at fucking.
- I love it.
- Fucking and sucking.