Name: Norm Macdonald's First SNL Appearance
Uploaded: 2022-03-08T18:10:49.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald's First SNL Appearance' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald's First SNL Appearance' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-08. Transcript available.

Some of you may have heard, I had an amazing week last week when I got married.
And I've had such a great time that I decided to let them show the video of my
wedding.
So, here it is.
Here I am talking about the caterer, and you did a really wonderful job.
Shh. Here, I'm sure this will cover it. It's from the spellings.
What are you doing? Turn that thing off!
Probably no institution in this country is as burdened with the problems as the
American prison system.
Here to update is, uh, update correspondence... I'm sorry.
Here to comment is update correspondent Norm MacDonald.
Sorry, Norm. Hello.
Thank you.
Thank you. You know, uh, I've always been afraid of going to prison.
And, uh, I was thinking about it the other day, and I realized that what scares
me most about going to prison
isn't the loss of freedom, or the, uh, stigma, or even the separation from
family.
For me, the scariest thing about going to prison is, uh, you know, it's the, uh,
you know, the, uh...
And it's always kind of, uh, kind of puzzled me that they never seem to, you
know, touch on that during the sentencing.
You know, it's the worst part of the whole deal, and the judge doesn't even
mention it.
You know, there's probably guys who go to prison and don't even realize what's
in store for them, you know,
because they're not as, uh, street-wise as you and me.
You know, can you imagine that? You know, you're sent to prison, you know, the
first night there, you know, you...
You know, there's the, you know, the anal rape thing there, you know, and...
You know, the next day, you see the guy in a prison cafeteria there, you know,
go,
Hey, buddy! Hey! Hey! I got a bone to pick with you, pal! Hey!
Let me tell you something, you were way out of line last night, way out of line!
It's ridiculous!
How would you like if I did something like that to you, huh? How would that be?
No, you wouldn't like that too much, would you? No!
Let me just say, that was one of the most selfish, inconsiderate things I've
ever been involved with.
What were you thinking?
Or were you even thinking? I mean, what's got into you?
Turn my back on you for a second, you pull a stunt like that? It's ridiculous.
And another thing, don't be telling Johnson I'm your bitch. I'm not your bitch.
That's crazy. I'm not even gay.
I tried to tell you that last night, but you wouldn't listen. No, you wouldn't
listen, would you?
I have a good mind to go to the warden about this. It's crazy.
And you know what hurts the most, pal? You know what? I trusted you. That's
what hurts the most.
You know?
Well, actually, the, uh, the anal rape hurt the most, but, uh, trusting you a
second.
A distant second, I'll tell you that.
Anyway, I'm so angry at you, I can't even talk to you right now.
You know, I'll just leave you with this.
You've got a lot of growing up to do, pal. A lot of growing up, I'll tell you
that.
Anyway, that's what scares me most about going to prison.
Back to you, Kevin.
Thanks, Ron.
You're right here.