Name: "Life Is Too Short To Exercise"
Uploaded: 2022-03-24T12:21:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '"Life Is Too Short To Exercise"' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '"Life Is Too Short To Exercise"' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-03-24. Transcript available.

life's too short to exercise I'm just gonna be honest there are so many better
things to do than exercise we have finite time on this earth the exercise is
such a conspiracy they go let's say you spend an hour on a treadmill every day
so you're working out now and stuff right yeah how about you I don't I worked
out a couple times I
I liked it when I was young I didn't have you know you didn't have to work out
you're just in
good shape yeah and I was in my best shape back then I think I was in my
seriously when I was
like uh when I was one that's when I reached your peak when you were one my god
I look great
you wouldn't know me now you see me back then I was young and fresh I can
imagine I can imagine
even for my age I let people come up and go what are you zero but I go to this
doctor and he gives me
like they always give me these crazy things and so he said I want to like test
out your body fat
yeah you know meanwhile I'm a really skinny guy like my whole life I've been
skinny I've been
self-conscious about it you know self-conscious right and then I always had
problems with those
words I always thought conscience I know it's fine don't worry about it this is
not an elevator with
Shriners so just relax so the guy he says I said I don't need no body fat thing
man I'm a really
skinny guy so he puts them these calipers on you know and he tests me out comes
back turns out I'm fat as well as skinny
seems unlikely doesn't it i'm skinny but also fat like i'm i'm basically i'm
bones and then fat
around the bones i have a horrible body so so the guy tells me you got to get
to one of them
gyms oh start working out a little bit yeah so they go to the gym and holy lord
have you ever
been to one of these no they're crazy you gotta like they got the weights you
know that's the big
thing weight machine sure so you gotta like lift the weight ah it's really
heavy and then you gotta
you gotta you gotta put it down then then afterwards lift it again right away
and it's
endless it's like hundreds of lifting and then afterwards you're just like sore
and you're not
bigger at all and uh and i don't want to be big i have no use for being big you
know i'm just a guy
i watch some tv i eat a fish sandwich you know i don't i don't gotta be big big
you know i don't
need abs you know what am i gonna do with abs i can show it to my friends i go
look up look on my
belly what i got here some abs what are you looking at well nothing you know
but maybe if you worked
that a little bit perhaps shriners would leave you alone
you know it wouldn't be a problem at all
you know it wouldn't be a problem at all
you know it's tough
i don't work out i'm a weak man you know that dennis well listen you and i were
on the mount olympus of weakness
and not just physically
i don't know in every way in every single way so um i told the guy that he said
he couldn't do anything except for the physical bar
but i don't know if he was the best trainer anyway he was smoking a butt the
whole time
no that's not good that's just a joke he was a big guy and uh but i i told him
i said look i don't want
big big like you you know i don't want veins i have no use for that in my arms
you know or uh abs i don't want abs i don't know quite what they are
all i know is they were invented around the 80s
and i don't even know what you do when you when you get them you know what i
mean because you got to wear a shirt you know
you go to work and go hey you want to see these things on my belly
nobody's like no
but uh so i told the guy i said that all i'm here i'm here for one reason and
one reason only i want to have one hot ass