Name: A Guy in a Wheelchair
Uploaded: 2022-04-04T15:41:18.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'A Guy in a Wheelchair' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'A Guy in a Wheelchair' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-04. Transcript available.

Last week, the United Artists Cinema Chain agreed to make 300 of its theaters
more accessible to people with disabilities.
Also, disabled patrons will no longer have to buy an extra ticket for their
wheelchair.
That's good.
About time they overturned that barbaric practice.
Okay.
Grocery and department stores across America have added reserved parking spaces
for expectant mothers.
Especially excited about this innovation are handicapped drivers who will
finally get to park in someone else's space.
Meanwhile, 5,000 disabled Americans were in Washington last week to protest
doctor-assisted suicide.
On a sad note, the demonstration turned ugly when all 5,000 disabled people
fought over two handicapped parking spaces.
I told you, sad, it was sad.
It was announced last week that New Jersey is to be the site of the 2014
Special Olympics.
The games will feature over 3,500 athletes competing for two parking spots.
Do you need anybody, any heroes of yours?
Do you need any big celebrities?
Yeah, I meant Larry Flint.
He's not my hero, but he's a guy, he's a famous guy.
Sure, he's famous, he's well known.
Yeah, I enjoy meeting famous guys, you know.
And he came out, he's in a wheelchair, and he talks like this, and he goes,
Ah, wow!
And, uh, but, uh, he was, uh, it's not his fault, it's not his fault.
No, I know.
He was shot.
So, Larry Flint was there, right?
So, afterwards, I went up to Larry Flint, and I'm very uncomfortable around
anyone's, you know, wheelchair.
Right.
Or any sick person.
You're worried about it, you don't know what to say, you don't have to address
it or not.
Yeah, and I'm worried about my own mortality.
You think it's almost infectious.
Yes, I, I really do believe that they don't tell you how many contagious things
there are.
He was, he said, uh, because I was in the movie The People Against Larry Flint.
Versus.
Versus Larry.
You are in the movie.
The People Versus, it was a famous movie, and you're in it.
I was in it.
I was, I was one of the people that was exercising you.
Okay.
So, uh, I, I said to him, he said to me, he said to me, hey, uh, blah, blah.
He's a good guy.
He's a good guy.
So, I got close up to him, which you have to do with these fellas, and I said,
hi, Larry.
And he said, hi, blah, blah, blah.
So, I said, no, of course.
I, you know, I just agreed with him.
Anyways, he said to me, he said, whenever you're out, come on over here, I'll
take care of you.
Now, but this is what he said to me, Conan.
He goes, hey, he goes, when you're in, uh, Los Angeles, you know, I saw if I
was coming to Los Angeles, he goes, when you're in Los Angeles, he goes, look
me up.
He goes, I'll take care of you.
When other people say that, you think, like, ah, that means nothing, but coming
from him.
Now, my Uncle Basil, if he said, hey, anytime you're in the Ottawa Valley, come
on over, I'll take care of you, that would mean he would make me a, a nice mincemeat
pie, you know, and, uh, and Aunt Ida would play on the piano, and it'd be a
heck of a thing.
But, when Larry Flint says, I'll take care of you, I assume that means I'll be
having sex with an odd-looking lady, and then he'll come in whacking off on his
wheelchair.
Well, I...
He's a wonderful guy.
Like, if my Uncle Phil told me that, from Minneapolis, I'd think, if he went,
hey, I'll take care of you when you come to Minneapolis, that means, like, I'll
make you a nice chicken pot pie, you know, but Larry Flint, that means, you
know, I'll get you a couple of hot, dirty broads, you know, and then while you're
having sex with them, I'll come into my wheelchair, you know?
I think the supplementary edition of a masturbating, voyeuristic,
like, bewild, Larry Flint, is, that's conjecture, but I think, but I think,
what is reasonable, Norm, is that him saying, I'll take care of you, because if
it was like a man that ran, like, a vegetable store, I'll take care of you, you
might think that you're going to get some beets, some juices, I don't think you'd
be paying for the pornography, I think that, I think a friendship with Larry is
a portal to pornography, a portal.
- Totally.
- I see.