Name: Normism. Hah?!
Uploaded: 2022-04-28T16:00:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Normism. Hah?!' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Normism. Hah?!' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-28. Transcript available.

- Let me ask you something. - Huh?
- I have a joke. - Yeah, like your Wesson Oil.
- Huh? - Like your Wesson Oil joke.
- Oh, my Wesson Oil joke? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I, uh...
- Stop it, Jethro.
- Well, you know what? I asked you, "How are you?"
- Yeah? - And you went into, I believe, a 48-minute joke.
- Oh, I'm sorry. - There's a show called "Rock of Love."
- Yes, Bret Michaels, "Rock of Love." - Yes, Bret Michaels, and he had a band
called "Rock of Love,"
and he was a big band singer. - He had a band called "Poison."
- Ah, whatever, yeah, and he was like, "Poison, Poison."
But their hit song was "Rock of Love."
So, anyways...
Did you ever hear the Andy Williams quote,
"In the future, everybody will be famous for 25 minutes?"
- Yes, I think it was Andy Warhol. - Huh?
Andy Williams was Moon River.
- Oh. - Andy, it's a generational thing.
- Whatever. - Yeah, okay.
- All right. - These are just questions from the internet, but they're, you
know, a lot of them are bad.
- What? They're... - Huh?
- What? They're... - Oh!
Okay.
Let me see here.
Ooh!
- What? Is it... - Huh?
- Is it a good one?
- It's not good at all.
What do you got in your tooth?
- Oh, shit.
- Huh?
- It's red.
- Oh, I just ate some dried cranberries.
- Yeah, that's what it is. That's what I thought it was.
- - You're on television.
- It's still there.
- Now it's gone.
- All right.
- You could steal off everyone, and then everyone was afraid of them.
- I respect that. - Huh?
- I respect that.
- What's that?
- A group of teenagers in San Rafael, California, used the term in connection
to a fall 1971
plan to search for an abandoned cannabis crop that they had learned about.
- Huh?
- See, who writes these? - Huh?
- We should have this person locked up and looked at, or at least looked at.
- But, uh...
- But that gets you into hell?
- Huh?
- But are you an angel?
- Be promiscuous?
- Gets you a ticket to hell?
- Who knows what you're doing?
- Huh?
- What?
- I look like a catfish hunter when I have a mouth full of juicy fruit.
- But you know it's wrong, right?
- But you know it's wrong, right?
- Mouth full of juicy fruit?
- No, not if it's your own, but you can't take a mouth...
You can't take seven pieces of someone else's juicy fruit.
- Right?
- You have had a mouth full of juicy fruit.
- You've had a mouth full of juicy fruit.
- No, be honest.
Do you think it's all right?
If someone hands you their pack of gum, do you think it's all right to take
seven pieces?
- I did do that.
- Do you think it's all right is the question?
- I don't think it's a mortal sin, a venal sin, no.
- Is it rude?
- Yes.
Everybody sucks cock.
- I think you're indirectly...
- Straight women suck cock, gay guys suck cock, straight guys suck cock.
- Huh?
- Let me tell you something.
Let me tell you something.
- This guy sucks his own cock.
That's what he tells me.
In confidence.
- All I was gonna say is...
- I'll answer it.
- All I was gonna say is, if you happen to have a bad set,
they will blame it on the marijuana when you might have had a bad set without
it.
I've seen you have bad sets with marijuana, without marijuana.
- That's a good point.
- How dare you?
- What night are you talking about?
- Huh?
- I like that one.
- And I only get teary-eyed for usually for the national anthem.
- Huh?
- Which one?
- Huh?
- Which one?
- En Francais?
So they get...
So then people go, well, who do you want?
Well, there's that one comedian.
She's a comedian, and she's also a lady.
- Yeah.
- And then it gets...
- It's more common now.
- Huh?
Oh, it's common now.
- SNL is very...
- They rule.
- They rule the SNL.
- Look, who is bigger than Tina Fey?
- She's strong.
- Too big to fail.
But you have children.
You are a father.
- Yes.
And I'm not dead.
- Yes.
And I bet you'd like a man great.
- Are you gonna give me one?
- Huh?
- Are you gonna give me one?
- No.
No, your son would have to get it for you.
What the fuck am I gonna buy you a Father's Day present for?
- Is Father's Day coming up?
- Father's Day is next week.
What is the man great, you ask?
- Okay.
- Huh?
- Fine, I didn't.
- You didn't ask, but you wanna know...
- I know what it is.
- You probably know what it is.
- I know.
- The dollar a day for one razor?
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
- I don't know why they call it dollar shave.
- Huh?
- Dollar a month.
- You know, George Clooney is engaged.
- Sure.
- How about that, huh?
He and you were sort of the modern day, huh?
- You gotta read well.
- You read well?
Well, read this then.
- Well, why have you got that?
- Huh?
Just a real...
- To be at my TV show.
- You mean performing...
- Huh?
- Huh?
- No, I meant...
I meant by...
- What?
- I mean, here you are with a showgirl in London.
- Yeah.
- There must have been some love involved there.
- No, she was a showgirl in Las Vegas.
- Well, are you happy that CNN has fallen...
- No, I don't want to know.
- No, I don't want to know.
- Huh?
- It does suck that you sleep a third of your life.
- No.
- Huh?
- I don't like sleeping.
I don't have...
I used to have jaws.
I don't have jaws.
- I have more chins than that.
- How old are you?
- Huh?
- How old are you?
- I said I'll be 50 in October.
- And ever since then, I've been gulping fistfuls of Xanax before a show.
- That helps.
- Oh my God, it's helping right now.
- You took a Xanax today?
- Huh?
- You took a Xan...
- I love everybody.
You know what I mean?
Without love, what do we got?
I don't care if a guy's a guy, a girl, a guy, girl.
I couldn't care less.
I love them all.
- What do you make of...
- I don't have sex with any of them.
- So you're the bee?
- You're the bee.
- Huh?
- You're the bee.
- No, I'm just...
I'm a person that is so tolerant that I would have sex with an L, a G, a B, or
a T.
Isn't that nice?
But I would not have sex with a straight person.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
It's your body I don't wanna share. We're making dynamite. Explosive love
intentions building in the end. Yeah. So...
Ah! These azaleas are coming along beautifully.
How's my pot?
What?
Huh?
Where'd you get all this surveillance equipment?
Your bedroom.
What?
Huh?
Grillette.
Yeah, you two.
Okay, here's the situation. Now, they say that... Oh, you might wanna take your
headphones off to hear this.
Huh? Oh, yeah. Let me take them out. They're out. I'll tell you what the kid
needs as young he's...
What?
Huh? Calm down. It's not what you think.
You're saying he needs to have sex with me.
Oh, it is what you think. What a piece of shit.
My God, what are you telling us?
Huh?
That I f***ed this woman.
Now, listen.
Huh?
Huh?
J.K. Rowling is a Christian, and J.K. Rowling famously said that if you're
familiar with the scriptures, you could easily guess the ending of her book.
Huh?
What would Norman Lear say to that?
What?
I say, what would Norman Lear say to that?
Who's that?
*laughs*