Name: I'm Doing it For a Movie Role
Uploaded: 2022-05-16T03:42:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'I'm Doing it For a Movie Role' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'I'm Doing it For a Movie Role' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-16. Transcript available.

You gained weight.
You gained a lot of weight.
I gained 45 pounds.
I was going to say something, actually.
Why?
Well, I thought you'd been gaining some weight.
Yeah, I gained 45 pounds.
You okay?
Yeah, what's going on?
I'm doing it for a movie.
For what?
What's the role?
What are you playing, Jackie Gleason?
What do you mean you're doing it for a movie?
It's not a particular movie.
I just think they always need a fat guy in a movie.
You're doing hard.
You're paying it forward, yeah.
Hey, listen, have you noticed my enormous weight gain?
No.
I've gained 45 pounds.
You know why I started to gain the weight, I told you.
I don't remember.
I'm up 45 pounds, and it was for a role in a movie.
That's right it was.
Anyways, whatever.
What was the role for again?
It wasn't a particular role, but I figured they always need a big fat guy in a
movie.
Turns out they don't.
They have plenty of fat guys that are much more experienced than that.
I thought we were going to be doing a bit where you're like a Jiminy Click
character.
Jerry Lewis?
Jiminy Click character.
Yeah, no, I'm fat.
What happened?
Fried chicken and gravy.
Let me tell you something.
I thought it was funny.
Your heart could --
I thought gaining a lot of weight would be funny.
No.
No.
It's not funny.
I started out I was doing it for a role, Andy.
Right.
I'm serious.
No.
I'm serious.
What role?
Well, there wasn't a specific role, but I was looking for a fat guy.
I'm telling you, my manager -- no, my landlord, rather -- he managed to get rid
of 230 pounds
of ugly fat.
He evicted me.
What?
Here, read this.
No, read this.
I want to read that one again.
Here, read that.
Sir, we all know about Norm's astonishing weight gain, but I think it's become
a bit worrisome,
so let's agree to stop having fun at his expanse.
Say what you want about how huge and fat my head has gotten, but you'll -- ah,
forget it.
Try iron.
You know, my clothes, Larry, make me look slimmer, but they did not fool that
flight of stairs
that collapsed under my astonishing new girth.
Papa -- what do you call that?
Papa --
Papa John's?
Oh, okay.
Papa John's delivery man has been arrested for allegedly selling more than 40,000
in cocaine
hidden in pizza boxes --
Jesus.
-- to undercover police officers.
This raises an important question.
Where is all that pizza that was supposed to go in those boxes?
Can I have them to eat?
I'm a big fat guy.
Well, I'm fat.
I'm so fat when I get my shoe shined, I have to take the Boot Black's word for
it.
You haven't seen your penis in three weeks.
I'm --
I'm keeping it clean.
Jesus Christ.
Well, is that what fat people say?
My penis?
This is where most of my weight goes.
Straight to whatever the fuck this is.
I'm going to find a really good joke.
You guys talk, and I'll find a good joke.
So, Adam, is it hard to not drink?
You know you've gained too much weight, by the way, when your chair guy refuses
to work with you anymore.
But go ahead.
When you had your heart attack?
Yeah.
You weighed 195?
Now you probably weigh about 175.
161.
161.
And what are you, 5'10"?
5'10 and a half.
161, so you're probably no body fat.
Oh, I have a little bit in the rim here.
Yeah, I got more than that.
My legs, my arms are thin.
My legs, my arms are thin.
My legs, my arms are thin.
I don't have -- I used to have jaws.
I don't have jaws.
I have more chins than that.
How old are you?
I said, I'll be 50 in October.
I'm going to lose it, though.
Yeah, it's the heaviest I've ever seen it.
And since I've gained it, I sweat like a -- like a -- like a whore in church.
I don't mean to be -- like a whore in church.
I don't mean to be -- like a -- like a whore in church.
I don't mean to be -- I don't mean to be filthy, but --
A whore in church.
Yeah, she's nervous, so she sweats.
She's sweating like a Chris Dorner in a Big Bear cabin.
Okay, come on.
Well, I'm just --
That's racist.
My only chance of losing 15 pounds is if I went to a British casino.