Name: "You're a Jay Comic, Norm"
Uploaded: 2022-05-22T23:06:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '"You're a Jay Comic, Norm"' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '"You're a Jay Comic, Norm"' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-22. Transcript available.

So what was the story about The Tonight Show for you, about ruining a chance to
get on The Tonight Show?
Because you must have done The Tonight Show a bunch. I mean, I feel like I
remember seeing you on The Tonight Show.
Well, there was The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, and then there was Afterward.
Right.
But I was living in Canada. I was kind of at my peak.
I'd been doing... I got good at stand-up pretty quick.
So I was about two years in, and I was really good, you know.
And I said, I'll go. Carson had announced he was going to retire in eight
months.
So I said, I'm going to go to Los Angeles, move to Los Angeles, and be the last
comedian on The Tonight Show,
and have him anoint me, and call me over to the couch, and it'll be a big deal,
you know.
And so there was this talent booker for The Tonight Show who had a lot of power.
And, you know, he was the guy you had to get through as a gatekeeper.
So anyways, but he was, you know, very frustrating to him.
So I would do a set, you know, and he would come.
The first time I did the set, he came up to me after.
He goes, I didn't like you, but I was really drunk.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
So I'm like, geez, man.
So I'm like, all right, can I do it again?
He's like, oh, yeah, of course, of course.
I didn't care for him, but you're probably funny.
Everybody says you're funny.
But I tell you, I was really hammered.
I'm like, all right.
So then the next time, I'm sitting there, and I look over.
He's necking with a girl.
I'm like, Jesus Christ.
Like, what the fuck is this guy?
So finally, he looks at the stage and sees me after seven tries, you know.
And so then he goes, you're great, but you're not a Johnny comic.
You're a Jay comic.
People say these ridiculous things that have no meaning.
So I'm like, what?
He's like, you're more of a Jay, because Jay was doing Monday night as the
guest host at that time.
And it had already been revealed that he was going to take over.
So he goes, you're a Jay comic.
And I go, no, I think I'm a Johnny comic.
That's what all my friends tell me.
They always say, hey, you're kind of a Johnny comic.
He's like, I think you're a Jay comic.
I'm like, so I'm in my head.
I'm like, there's no fucking, it doesn't mean anything.
What are you talking about?
I was so angry.
And then he says, like, whispers it to me.
He goes, and also, Jay is going to take over the show.
And I go, that was in the paper.
Why are you whispering it?
Everyone knows this thing.
You're telling me in confidence, you know.
So anyways, he says, you know, Johnny will watch the Monday night with Jay.
And everybody already knew at that point that Johnny hated Jay also.
And even if he didn't, like, Johnny Carson's going to watch the guest host on
his day off.
Right, right, right.
At 1130.
So I never got to do the Tonight Show.
But then looking back, like, I wasn't really a Carson guy.
I just, when I, he was like a corny old guy to me.
You know what I mean?
So I took it on faith that he was funny.
You know, and I'd see clips and he'd be funny.
But I wasn't a guy who grew up with Johnny Carson.
I was a guy who grew up with David Letterman.
Right.
So it probably was better for me to have my first spot on Dave, you know.
You got sorted into the right house.
Yeah, yeah, without knowing it, you know.
It turned out I was a Dave comic.
You were neither a Leonard comic nor a...
Yeah.
Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.
You're familiar with the model Kate Upton.
Well, apparently, she told the London Sun that life would be easier if she had
small breasts.
You know, I suppose that's true.
If by easier, she means harder.
We have a great show!