Name: More Norm Macdonald Stories
Uploaded: 2022-06-14T14:57:23.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'More Norm Macdonald Stories' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'More Norm Macdonald Stories' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-14. Transcript available.

I didn't know him that well in the '90s.
And then when my dad died, I had to do a movie with Norm,
and I tried everything to get out of that movie
'cause I was inconsolable.
-Mm-hmm. -But I couldn't get out of it.
And working with him was the greatest thing
that ever happened to me.
It was like he was the right guy at the right time.
I was inconsolable.
-Did he talk to you about your dad a lot or what did he do?
-He never came up. -Uh-huh.
-He just made me laugh. -Yeah, right, right.
He just, you know, and it was, you know, wistful and musing.
And, you know, Norm is --
'cause you never knew he was setting something up or not.
We were just hanging out, and all of a sudden,
it'd be like this punchline out of nowhere.
But it started to become like a --
work was like a church I go to.
Like, I couldn't wait to get to work
and just hang around this guy. -Yeah.
-And I knew he was special. -Yeah.
-And I've known people for years and years
that didn't make me laugh as much as he did
in that 8 or 10 weeks.
So he's like a real special person to me.
And the way he's funny,
I just never seen someone get at it like that.
It was great.
-He came on our show one time,
your old studio, the late-night show.
And he -- I went in just to say hi before the segment.
And he's in the dressing room right outside the double doors.
Inconsolable, 'cause he had been on a big game
that had just ended.
-Oh, right. -Oh, yeah.
-I'm there to try and make sure
that the guest is in a good mood.
-Right, right, right. -We're gonna have a good ramp up.
And I remembered him, "Ah, that's a lot of money!"
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-And I hear the band outside, "Ana-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na."
It's gonna be good-time show business
with a man that just lost 55,000 --
Who knows what he lost, you know?
-Recently destitute Norm MacDonald.
-Exactly, yeah. -Did he give that up?
Do we know? -I don't know.
-I don't think -- -I don't know 100%.
-Well, it was him reading an excerpt from his book
or his book on tape,
where he describes his gambling addiction.
-Yeah. -Mm-hmm. -So poetically.
-Oh, wow. -Yeah.
-He talks about roulette. -Roulette.
-It's a book on tape. -How hopeful it is to be a --
He's addicted to the hope of it.
-Mm-hmm. And there's no way you can talk about Norm and not,
'cause we all know that gambling was, you know, part of his life.
And he -- you can just -- in his comedy,
he's just always putting everything on 17 red or 35 lines.
Like, that's amazing that he's --
It's really the same -- whatever -- the same thrill.
-Yeah, you're right, you're right. -That's interesting.
-I'm not taking that, you know.
-I have a funny Norm gambling one.
So -- and this is -- everything is true.
So I -- 'cause some of it doesn't make sense.
But we lived in the same building.
Me and -- I went up to visit him in this room.
We come up to his apartment.
That was -- going into his apartment was bananas as it is.
But we're having a nice time.
And I said, "You got any soda?"
And I open up his fridge, and I swear to God,
$25,000 worth of chips.
Atlantic City chips are in his fridge.
And I go, "What's this?"
And he goes, "Oh, I won big.
I won a big on Friday."
And I said, "Well, why don't you cash it in, buddy?"
He goes, "Well, I brought it here
so I could talk to Bernie Brillstein
to see how I don't have to pay taxes on it."
So I go, "Oh," and he goes,
"Yeah, so I'm going to bring it back Monday."
And he told me no matter what, I got to pay taxes.
So, you know, it didn't work out there.
So, whatever. I go, "Oh, that sucks."
So, anyways, I see him at "Saturday Night Live" on Monday.
I go, "Did you cash it in?"
And he goes, "I lost it all!"
-Oh, damn.
-We go down the elevators, and they have limos for us
for the SNL to go to the after-party.
So we get in them, and then Max, the guy, goes,
"Oh, yeah, Norm sometimes takes us to Atlantic City."
So he just skips the party and goes right there.
And that Monday, he comes back.
He's at the same thing.
He goes, "He keeps chips in his refrigerator
because no one looks in the fridge if they're robbing him."
-Oh, that's funny. -That's ingenious.
-That's better than the Bernie.
-That's what I'm doing.
-I have so many Norm stories, but this is one of my favorites.
And I was on tour, me, Sandler Spade, Rob Schneider,
and Norm was kind of like the wild card.
He would pop in for certain dates.
So we're in, I believe, Mohican Sun in Connecticut,
and we're backstage, and everyone's in Sandler's green room
talking and shooting the shit.
And me and Norm are in the hallway hanging out.
And I don't know why I did this, this long hallway,
and this guy walks in, way down the hallway,
he walks in the door, and I'm like looking.
And, you know, we're always kind of suspicious
about people that come backstage.
And I go, "I think that guy's a gun."
And Norm goes, "What?!"
And I go, "I think that guy's a fucking gun, dude."
And he's like, "Oh, my God!"
And he runs into Sandler's room, and he goes,
"There's a gun! There's a man with a gun!"
And I was like, "No, no, no, no, there's not, there's not."
I was, "No, no, no, no, I'm joking, there's not."
And he goes, "No, no, no, next time there's a guy with a gun."
And Sandler goes, "What the fuck?!"
"There's a guy with a fucking gun?!"
And Spade's like, "Oh, no, what the fuck, what's good?"
And I'm like, "No, there's no gun, there's no gun."
I just, there was, I was making like a joke just for Norm.
And Norm's like, "What? How's that a joke?"
And I'm like, "I don't know!"
And Sandler's like, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
And I'm like, "I don't know, man."
Spade's like, "Yeah, real cool, man."
And I'm like, "I'm just gonna go to my room."
And Norm's like, "Yeah, I thought there was a gun. I'm sorry. Nick sent it."
And I'm like, "Good Lord."
Real buzzkill, huh?
And the guy walked past him as a security guard.
But, yeah.
So, he really did have a gun.
He didn't have a gun, but he just looked like somebody that would have a gun.
Yeah, well, people use guns for security, man.
It was just not a good joke on my part, especially poor Norm.