Name: Norm Macdonald on Euphemism à la George Carlin
Uploaded: 2022-06-22T18:55:48.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald on Euphemism à la George Carlin' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald on Euphemism à la George Carlin' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-22. Transcript available.

-My other friend was mentally retarded.
Now, I know you're not supposed to say that anymore,
but that's what we said then, you know?
And I understand that term.
You know, it means that you're arrested.
Your mental capacity has been retarded or arrested.
So, anyways, I'll say Down syndrome.
I don't care. I didn't say it for a long time.
On account of I thought people would think I was a doctor
and I'd have to hit their knee with a hammer or something.
I don't know.
Stewardess comes up, "Flight Attendant!"
"Flight Attendant!"
I apologize. Words are different now.
When I was young, if you were a flight attendant
and you were a lady, we would call you a stewardess.
And if you were a flight attendant and you were a man,
we would call you a...
Wait, what?
What are you guys thinking?
Good Lord!
What's wrong with you?
I'm not outraged.
I'm outraged, I tell you.
I'm outraged at what you are thinking.
Just 'cause I paused for a second.
I was gonna say a steward.
If you were a flight attendant and you were a male,
we used to call you a steward, you know?
But words have changed, folks.
That's the way things go, man.
You know, man, they're always gonna be different.
You know, words, they change.
That's why I can't understand a goddamn Shakespeare, you know?
I remember one time when I was a little boy.
I went up to my dad, I said, "Dad, I think I'm a little girl."
And he said, "I thought you had a cock."
And I was like, "Oh, yeah. You got me."
Now, the only reason I tell you that
is to show how hateful we were back then.
You know what I'm saying?
Now, every person knows that people are nuanced.
They're not all evil or all good, you know?
My dad did good stuff, you know?
He was in the Second World War.
You know, he fought Hitler.
I mean, you know, he had help.
It wasn't like he, you know,
he didn't have a fist fight with Hitler.
But I'm saying he liberated us
from what could have been the icy grip of Nazism.
How about that?
So that was his good side, you know?
His evil side was this crazy idea he had
that having a cock had something to do with being a boy.
I don't even know, you know,
where he could come up with such an idea.
Nowadays, we can't even wrap our heads around
that kind of thinking.
But people used to actually think that.
Isn't that something?
Now, in other ways, my father was very progressive.
For instance, we had a gender-neutral bathroom.
You know, I used it, my brother used it, my sister used it.
My mother used it, anybody, didn't matter what gender you were.
And you know what I was way ahead on?
Slut-shaming.
I was always, always against that.
These broken pieces I hold in my hands
Don't have a chance to mend at all
Before they get thrown into chaos again
I try to pretend I'm whole enough
To stand in this world so unsteady
I don't like words that hide the truth.
I don't like words that conceal reality.
I don't like euphemisms or euphemistic language.
And American English is loaded with euphemisms.
Because Americans have a lot of trouble dealing with reality.
Americans have trouble facing the truth.
So they invent a kind of a soft language
To protect themselves from it.
And it gets worse with every generation.
For some reason it just keeps getting worse.