Name: I Know You're Not Supposed to Say that Anymore
Uploaded: 2022-06-25T04:34:14.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'I Know You're Not Supposed to Say that Anymore' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'I Know You're Not Supposed to Say that Anymore' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-25. Transcript available.

My other friend was mentally retarded.
Now, I know you're not supposed to say that anymore,
but that's what we said then, you know?
And I understand that term, you know?
It means that you're arrested.
Your mental capacity has been retarded or arrested.
So, anyways, I'll say Down syndrome. I don't care.
I didn't say it for a long time
on account I thought people would think I was a doctor,
and I'd have to hit their knee with a hammer or something.
I don't know.
But anyways, I love...
My best friend had Down syndrome, you know?
I love people with Down syndrome.
I wish I had Down syndrome.
And I'll tell you why, 'cause they're happy.
You know what I mean? They're happy.
What's wrong with that?
Man, I wish I was happy, you know?
I was happy when I was with my friend, I'll tell you that.
I would love to have a friend right now,
'cause how often are you happy?
You ever be happy?
It happens once in a while, you know?
With me, it's usually when I wake up.
You know, I wake up, I go, "Ah, Goddamn.
I'm glad I bought that Tempur-Pedic Pillar.
That was the best purchase I ever made."
But then the light comes under the door and bathes over you,
and then your life comes in and gets all over you like a cobweb.
You're like, "Goddamn, huh? That's not fun."
But you ever go into the mirror and look at yourself?
I'm not talking about physically, but just eye to eye.
You know, they go, "Oh, good God. What's become of me?
Oh, I'm gonna go back to bed and cover myself up."
Oh, that's when I would like to have a mentally retarded friend next to me,
a guy with Down syndrome, to go, "I like bananas."
And I go, "Goddamn, I never looked at it that way.
I like bananas, too."
You go, "They're yellow."
I go, "Goddamn, you're right. They are yellow."
What say you and me go buy a yellow banana?
See, people get mad at me, and yet, you know, they pity them.
I envy people with Down syndrome, you know?
And they pity them.
Now, who's the bad person in that scenario?
I tell you right now, man, if there was some sort of injection
where I could be Down syndrome, I'd take it
because I'd love to be happy all the time, you know?
And some people go, "Oh, mentally retarded people aren't always happy."
I go, "Well, I never seen," you know?
Like, you ever see a cynical Down syndrome guy, you know?
Never see a guy go, "Ah, fuck bananas. They're yellow.
I don't care. Who cares?"
I've never seen it.
But happiness, the thing we strive the most,
people pity these people that have it, you know?
Like, they'll look over a group of people with Down syndrome and go,
"Ah, man, look.
Breaks my heart when I see them."
You know why? They're happy, right?
It's on account of they don't understand life's horrors.
Makes me sad.
Makes me shake my head, sadly, like this year.
And you know the saddest part of all?
Mm-hmm.
There's no cure.
They'll probably die happy.