Name: Cats and Broadway Musicals
Uploaded: 2022-07-08T20:04:29.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Cats and Broadway Musicals' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-07-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Cats and Broadway Musicals' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-07-08. Transcript available.

And in a related story, this week marked the 5,000th performance of the
Broadway musical Cats.
It also marked the 5,000th time a guy turned to his wife and said,
What the hell is this?
Just saw your manager, Jimmy.
Oh, is he back there?
He asked me to go to cabaret with him tomorrow night.
Is that true? Do you think it was a date?
I don't know. I never heard a dude ask another dude that.
So what'd you say?
I said, no, I only went to one musical.
I went to Cats. You remember that one?
With the cats.
Yeah.
Yeah, they dress up.
They actually are dressed.
It's cats. It's actual cats.
Yeah.
I was stunned.
And I say, there's a dude working there.
I say, good God, man, that's about actual cats.
Right?
So the guy goes, well, what the hell do you expect?
It says cats.
And I go, I don't know.
I thought it was like a symbolic symbolism.
You know what I mean?
Sure, right.
I mean, if you went to, like, dog day afternoon, and there's a bunch of dogs in
the afternoon,
you'd want your money back.
That's literal, exactly.
You won't have to sweat it, you're a cobra boy.
All right, so, uh, let's see.
What the hell was that?
All right.
What was what?
You just sang.
Oh, yeah, I did, didn't I?
Because we're the cobras, so you better look out.
What?
How did you come up with a song so fast?
No, no, no, just, just came to me.
What about?
Just came to you?
It was perfect.
It was like you rehearsed it or something.
Here's the plan.
Get over here, guys.
The Panthers hang around 34th and Main.
They're pretty juiced by midnight.
And that's when we strike.
Right.
Right.
That's when we...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What the hell is this?
What are you doing?
We're being cobras.
Ah, look, that's it, that's it.
What is up with you guys?
What?
He started singing, then he started singing,
then he started singing, then he started singing.
So I started singing.
It happens.
No, it does not happen.
This was clearly choreographed.
The Panthers!
The Panthers are coming to get you!
Yeah, I saw them down the street!
Okay, now listen up.
Here's the plan.
We're going to ambush the Panthers.
Honey!
Oh, no, that's not good.
Okay, uh...
Big Jake!
Oh, God, this isn't working out.
Oh, no.
Cobras!
Cobras!
Panthers!
Yeah!
Cobras!
Panthers!
Yeah!
Cobras!
Cobras!
Panthers!
Yeah!
Cobras!
Paradise, with your body I don't want to share.
We're making dynamite, explosive love intentions building in the air.
Yeah.
I saw a wonderful play.
A guy went on a trapeze over the audience.
This was at the height of the AIDS epidemic.
And he cut himself.
And his blood, his AIDS...
Yeah.
His AIDS-filled blood went all over the audience.
And then we'd cheer.
Because we were afraid to be politically incorrect.
So instead, we contract AIDS.
But wait, you were at the show?
Yeah.
You were being sprayed with AIDS blood?
- Yeah, we are.