Name: Norm Macdonald Shitting on Lesbians
Uploaded: 2022-07-23T16:00:14.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Shitting on Lesbians' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-07-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Shitting on Lesbians' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-07-23. Transcript available.

You know what you want to do right now?
Get up and dance like Ellen.
What?
All over the building, and we'll follow you with a camera.
Wouldn't that be great? You could dance over women.
Yeah.
All right, go ahead.
Have you ever done the Ellen show?
No, not yet.
This is the most shabbily run operation.
You know who wouldn't do this? Ellen.
Oh.
Would not do it to me.
Take it back.
Oh, Ellen.
David often gets confused with Ellen.
No, that's a true fact. I'm not making it up.
I don't know.
This is before the goatee, before the mustache.
And thank God Ellen shaved that off.
But, uh...
This is our top story tonight.
This week, after months of speculation,
sitcom star Ellen DeGeneres finally admitted that,
yes, she is gay.
Inspired by her courage, today diet guru Richard Simmons
admitted that he is really, really, really, really gay.
And in entertainment news, Ellen DeGeneres and lover Ann Hesch have announced
that they want to have a baby.
However, their plan has hit a snag.
They are both women.
It is not possible to have a child.
On Tom Snyder this week, after Tony Danza said,
he thought the recent open display of affection by lesbian couple Ellen DeGeneres
and Ann Hesch
in front of President Clinton was extremely disrespectful.
On hearing the comment, President Clinton responded,
"Someone should tell Tony Danza to shut the hell up."
Well, by now, most of you have seen or heard about last week's episode of Ellen,
in which the main character, played by Ellen DeGeneres, announced that she is
gay.
Here to comment on Ellen, our very own Will Ferrell.
Hi, Will.
Hi, Will.
Thank you.
Like everyone in the country, I saw the historic episode of Ellen, and of
course, I loved it.
I don't know what it is, but when a first-class comedian spoofs gay people, it
always makes me laugh.
Hey, let's face it, gays are funny.
I love Billy Crystal on soap, and that Harvey Fierstein impression of a
homosexual couldn't be more dead-on.
Heck, even I do a funny gay guy around the office.
You know, Judy Garland, fresh-cut flowers, interior decorating.
It's all in good fun.
Why not?
I'm no homophobe.
So, Ellen DeGeneres, I salute you.
There's no controversy here.
She's just a damn good comedian who's able to get good laughs pretending she's
a lesbian.
And if that's wrong, then that's my kind of wrong.
Well, Will, now, she's not exactly pretending.
How's that?
I mean, she wasn't on the cover of Time Magazine for pretending she was gay.
She really is gay.
Ellen DeGeneres is gay, but the real Ellen DeGeneres.
Yes.
She's a lesbian.
Oh, my God.
I'm gonna be sick.
Why did you put that dirty, sickening image in my mind?
Oh, no, here it comes again.
Oh, whoa!
Oh, whoa!
Oh, whoa!
Oh, whoa!
Oh, whoa!
Oh, whoa!
Oh, whoa!
I'm glad she's just a lesbian.
Oh, stop it!
Please stop!
Please start!
Good, it's quite good.
Normally I don't like Will Ferrell vomit, but this is actually really good.
And then there's gay ladies too, lesbians, you know, that I think like for
mainstream America, they're easier to accept, you know, because, you know,
there's no like anal tearing and stuff.
Basically, I don't know what they do, I guess they just like lick each other or
something, I don't know.
They can't fuck because they got no cock.
So I don't know how they can't have sex, right?
All they can do is go buy a cock, they go to like stores.
You know what, man, I hate that real cock, but I love that big fake plastic
cock.
It's too complicated for me to understand.
I'm saying like things that are completely ill-informed.
I'm just trying to figure it out.
God bless though.
God bless everyone.
God bless everyone.