Name: Getting High with Norm Macdonald
Uploaded: 2022-08-12T15:51:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Getting High with Norm Macdonald' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Getting High with Norm Macdonald' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-12. Transcript available.

Have you met Norm Macdonald before?
I got to work with Norm, and I guess I, I mean, I hope he doesn't mind if I
tell him, because this is a very endearing...
Oh, last comic standing!
No, I did the season before, but I got to work with him one week, and we...
What did you do?
Oh man, I watched every single set he did, and it was so cool, and we actually
got...
You know what? I already got into the story, so I gotta tell...
Yeah, let's hear it, yeah, that was fun.
He wanted to get high, and so I was like, okay, I don't really get high before
shows, but afterwards, cool, and he's like, no, now.
Well, when Norm Macdonald says now...
Right, you say yes.
Yeah, correct.
And he goes, and he goes and hands me the joint, and I was like, ah, okay, and
then he hands it back for a second hit, and I was like, no thanks, and he goes,
what's your problem?
And I go, well, I'm just worried I'm gonna repeat a joke, and I still have to
go up and bring you up,
because the opener was on, and I was hosting, so I still have to go up there
and bring you up,
and I just don't... I already did some jokes earlier, and I just don't want to
tell the same joke again,
and he goes, that's insane. You're an idiot. Smoke this.
And so I smoked it, and then we go inside, and I'm so high, I go, I'm just
gonna bring you up.
I'm not gonna do any time. I'm just gonna bring you up, and he's like, no, do a
couple minutes.
And I go, no, please, just let me just bring you up, and he goes, no, do five
minutes.
He's, this guy's doing really well. Give me, you know, take a little, do a
little timer between.
You need a little buffer between comments.
Yeah.
I said, okay. So I went up there, and I was so high, I was like, I don't even
remember what I said in the first half of my set,
so I'm just gonna tell jokes that I haven't told in years.
And when I told a joke...
Oh, so you told the audience, you let the audience in on the fact that you had
been...
No, the audience didn't know.
They didn't know?
So I would just tell...
Oh, okay. Oh, so you just said that to yourself, I'm just gonna do jokes I
haven't done in five years.
Yes, and I walked on stage, and I would tell a joke, and then I would watch the
audience,
and if they laughed, I would relax and go, okay, that one down.
And I did that, the whole set, it was horrible.
I was so stressed out, and then I just said, ladies and gentlemen, Norm MacDonald.
And I look over to my right, and there he is, walking the opposite way.
And the feature turned him around, and pointed him to the stage.
Over here, Norm.
That's how high we got by accident.
By accident, like you tripped on a joint.
I love the peer pressure from Norm, though, that's awesome.
It's like a high school, middle school, all over again.
And he's my hero, so I just, you know, for me, that was a little, I was a
little worried about him,
but then he walked on stage, and he opened it up with this great bit, and he
was crushing.
Right.
He was destroying, and then he got the light, and then he started to wrap it up,
and he started to tell the joke he opened with.
And I started to freak out.
Like, I just, I was like, oh, no.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
And the audience thought it was a joke.
Yeah.
They thought he was being Norm.
Sure.
And, but when he delivered the punchline, and it was the same punchline,
they realized he had just forgotten his joke, and they didn't laugh.
They felt a little betrayed.
And he walked off stage in complete confusion.
That bit usually kills.
And then the feature goes, you told the same joke twice, you idiot.
And he goes, no.
And then he looks at me, and he goes, this is your fault.
And I never, I never got to work with them again.
That was the last time I worked with Norm.
But you know what?
With Norm MacDonald, though, that's Norm.
He's so irreverent that that's.
You almost expect it.
He can do that.
Yeah.
And all this, that's a bit in itself.
I mean, look at the cauliflower joke he did on the roast with Bob Saget.
Yeah.
That bit, he purposely went up there on that roast and bombed on purpose.
Yeah.
And it was genius.
Yeah.
And have you heard that bit?
Watch Norm MacDonald roast.
Who was he roasting?
It was Bob Saget.
Bob Saget.
Your head looks like a cauliflower.
Or something like that.
I'm not going to do the bit.
But yeah, go back.
Smells like a fucking pot dispensary in here.
Norm, let's stay on track here.
Let's stay on track.
It's been hard for me to get on.
Jesus, Chris, I feel like I'm hot.
It's getting on with hot.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm making sense.
It's not you, is it?
No.
No, I'm not going to move the show in a good order here.
But you don't seem, you seem different.
You know, let me, okay, I'm going to go out.
I'm going to go out of order.
No, it's okay.
It doesn't matter.
No, no, no, no, no.
It doesn't matter.
I'm going to remember this.
It's legal.
It's legal.
Okay.
It has to do with what you just did.
Medicinal marijuana.
No one fucks with people.
The most painful thing in the world for me is, and I realize, and it's so true,
one of the
most, not physical pain, but just mental pain is waiting to talk.
And that's what I was doing out there.
You know, you're outside, they're talking, but you're waiting to talk.
That's not all you were doing outside.
It's legal.
It's legal.
It's legal.
I almost don't want to admit this, because it makes him look so bad.
He made me smoke pot.
This is the truth.
I don't believe in God, but my truth.
Outside, he goes, come on, you'll smoke, you'll smoke, you'll smoke, you'll
smoke.
I'm like, if you want me to smoke, I'll smoke.
I didn't plan on it, because I get shagged.
People that smoke pot more than you think you're always fighting with them,
when you go,
I always smoke pot four times a week.
You're just saying it casually.
They're like, you smoke more than that.
All right, relax.
What are you afraid?
I'm not admitting I'm like you.
Four times a week seems like a lot.
Does it really?
A little.
Look into my eyes.
I'm serious.
I'm very serious.
No, I don't know who Bill Boggs is.
The name sounds familiar.
Oh, shut up.
What are the odds smoke came billowing out of my mouth after half an hour?
Really?
You think your audience is that dumb?
They're going to sit home and go, oh, my God.
Todd glanced a half an hour into his interview, smoke came billowing out of his
mouth.
Do you think we stopped saying N-rig, which means, you know, or N-rich, or nigger
rich,
or nigger rig, which were terms that some people are going, were they terms?
Because, well, it's a fine.
Or do you think we just shouldn't use people to be?
Or what do they say when you, hey, stop with that joint there.
You're getting spit out of it.
So, no, hold on a second.
So most people would say that we stopped those things because it was egregious.
Yes.
I know what I'm saying.
Yeah, I know.
And so you have to say.
I'm trying to give you another example.
A friend, he would get stoned and he'd go, oh, I thought of all these ideas and
everything,
you know, but I never write them down.
So he goes, I'm going to write them down.
I'm going to have a little notebook and write down whatever I think is funny,
you know.
And so he said he woke up one day after getting really stoned and on his pad he
had written,
that's really funny.