Name: Norm Macdonald Made Carson Daly Almost Bearable
Uploaded: 2022-08-24T22:33:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Made Carson Daly Almost Bearable' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Made Carson Daly Almost Bearable' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-24. Transcript available.

what's going on norm i've not seen you in forever you look you look great yeah
they all love you
they love you my audience loves you what's happening what's new your hair is
short you
look great yeah i got short i got a haircut when wow this is a very uninteresting
subject
yeah but it looks good it caught me off guard yeah yesterday oh wow yeah well
it's short it
makes sense yeah how's the family how's everything going oh great man couldn't
be better life is
uh it's fantastic yeah i like life man you do really oh my god people are
complaining about it
first of all you're lucky you're lucky enough to be alive when you think about
it you know i'm saying
your mother had to have sex with your father that your grandparents had to have
sex grand great
grandparents had to have sex it's lucky you're alive my god it's amazing and i'm
so happy every day
you should be alive because it's just a fluke there's so many more many more
people that never
got to be alive
and that's an interesting point i guess you're right if you do the math so when
people talk about it
i'm like man it's the greatest gig in the world being alive you get to you get
to eat at denny's
wear a hat whatever you want yeah yeah get haircuts it is well good i'm glad
life is going well i know
you're a big fan you competed in the world series of poker in the celebrity
event no in the real the
real deal deal yeah how was that um well it was sort of a nightmare i was
halfway through the first
day i was the massive chip leader right and then i think you were doing great
yeah it was first place
uh 8 800 people and then i threw it all away
you say that like it still tortures you to this day yeah what happened was it
all in one hand did
you just go all in with something that you shouldn't have it was it your bluffing
were you
no i was just uh i had pocket aces and the guy had jack queen he beat me but uh
uh so be it i was
going for number there's two ways of playing it right you can go to trickle
into the money or you can
go for first place so i was going for first place yeah you like to play poker
though right that was
that i like it okay yeah yeah all right i play a lot i got a little addicted to
it on the internet i
was playing like six games at once for seven eight hours a day yeah all right
so you like it a little
bit yeah i uh saw the poker area at one of the casinos in vegas and it's very
uh it's very bright
it's very sterile you can't like swear you can't smoke and i'm thinking well
there's no way norm
could really be into this poker thing because those are two of your favorite
things to do i got a lot of
penalties at the world series for smoking oh you can't even smoke because like
you know your races
get cragged and you go and you know and then it's like it's a 20 minute penalty
for each word so i'm
like out for an hour and a half you know but they let you back in yeah they let
you in after an hour
and a half what if you're swearing while smoking 10 cigarettes at once it's so
insane that you can't
swear and smoke because uh everybody there is a degenerate gambler that smokes
and swears
yeah it's a weird rule that they have there very strange i played the celebrity
poker that was the
hardest of all why uh well you go on the tv and uh poker is not that hard but
identifying these other
celebrities
yeah that should really be its own sort of gamble right there because i want to
bet on the fact that
i'm not quite sure that that guy is in creed i don't know exactly i'll bet a
thousand dollars
i think he that was a better juice factor in that they get peripheral
celebrities like me there's not
a lot like matlock's gonna be on the so you know you get like the i had to get
briefed there because
everybody's 20 they're like that's the guy of course don't you know him he's
right in that police
station uh he plays detective johnson so i remember i was i really enjoy your
work on police station
that time you right got that crook he's like norm it's me it's john stamos what's
with you don't
recognize me ah no john stamos is a great man he's a good guy you know john
sure i know him i know
him all right yeah that guy gets the ladies he does yeah some guys get the
ladies i'm telling you man
and it's it's you ever know these guys maybe in high school or something or
college it didn't you
couldn't figure out why they did it but they could get the ladies yeah maybe
they weren't the handsomest
guy but somehow like i had a guy a friend of mine bill this guy he could get
any i'm not exaggerating
when i say this every night he would have a different lady and they'd be
beautiful and finally i asked the
guy i said what's your secret you know he said i'm a serial rapist
that hardly counts you know yeah norman let me ask you i tried the roofies once
actually did you
because i had that you tried that as a technique of dating yeah because i said
ah these girls you go and
you feed them a nice hamburger and then uh it's not enough nothing happened so
i said i'll try these roofies
all right they didn't work at all man i couldn't even remember anything i woke
up three days later my
ass hurt i don't know what happened
this is the second night in the row we can't hear any of this this will be the
greatest website interview
ever none of this will make air they're just let me ask you about you grew up
in canada
everybody in canada speaks french but your father he forbid you from learning
french yeah yeah everybody in
quebec where i grew up quebec city about 99 percent french a few english people
and yeah my dad you
know the english hate the french his guts and uh so my dad wouldn't let me uh
learn french why
because he hated the french and so you in school you could take either french
or latin
and i took latin and in quebec city it turns out there's no ancient romans
that's right so i got beat up a lot by french guys which is about the most
humiliating thing that
could ever happen to you right aside from losing a celebrity poker to the guy
from the cop show
um let me ask you about there's a couple of shows coming on nbc this year that
both deal with uh snl
where you spend some time uh one of them is a drama one of them is a comedy uh
do you plan on watching
studio 60 or 30 rock you excited about these shows it seems odd that there's
two shows that are uh
backstage over the same show saturday night live right and uh i don't even know
if anybody watches
saturday night live let alone backstage is that i know they weren't watching
when i was on it
i thought you were great on saturday night live do you watch it now i thought
it was great on
saturday night live too do you ever go back do you ever go back to uh the snl
stage yeah i love it
you know because ever since i was a kid i watched saturday night live and i
always loved it you know
and i still love it i always go uh every time i'm in new york i go and see the
guys and stuff yeah it's
fun to go back there oh yeah you were there yeah i was there sure you'd always
hang out i know what's
going on um this is the comedy scene that norm put out and it's great but it's
different than what i
thought when i first put it i thought it was going to be sort of a traditional
comedy cd but i actually
enjoy this much better you mean like stand they want me yeah like it's not
stand up yeah i didn't
want to stand up because uh when i was a kid like i i'd listen to cheech and chong
and uh my python
and uh it'd be cool because i'd like you know my parents didn't know and it was
dirty and stuff like
that and stuff like that so uh i always wanted to do an album like that you
know that uh it's not
for kids they're like sketches but they're much much dirtier yeah they're
really filthy and this
album is not for kids but it's for kids yeah but if you're a kid go get it it
seems like when you
listen to this and it's cool because it's it takes you back to like how people
probably listen to radio
in the 50s or whatever it's very sort of theatrical it's very funny and and
dirty it's the theater of the
mind it is it is like when you know i'm an older fella you know i'm in my late
60s now when i was
when i was young things were different carson you know like like pot was
something that you know
you cook your eggs in you know what i'm saying right yeah it wasn't hash was
something that you'd eat
with your eggs you know it was a hash on the side you know what i'm saying acid
you know was something
that you'd uh you know throw uh in a guy's face if he made a pass with your
wife
you know what i mean it's all different it's all different when did you grow up
in the 40s yeah
i'm gonna know ecstasy you know what was ecstasy ecstasy was that feeling that
surged through your body
when you threw a bunch of acid in a guy's face it's all
it's changed and what i like about this album like you said the hidden track
yeah it's the hidden track and then they didn't why did you put it as track 13
yet it says hidden
track they told me they'd hide it it says hidden track i know then they put it
in but uh
that's ridiculous but the theater of the mind what i was going to say go back
to that is what is so
great when i was a kid we had no uh tv we had no tv we had the radio sure and
you see you had to use
your mind right you know how to use your imagination and my dad would collect
the kids around and we'd
listen to the radio and we had to use our mind especially with the hardcore
pornography
what show is that what show is it yeah what show was the name of the show yeah
that the family was
huddled around in the 30s when you were growing up i think it was the porn was
being read i can't
remember and you had to imagine it all the name of the show yeah amos and annie
yeah that's the one that's that's what i was thinking of those are great i like
to go down to the
radio come on now amos i don't believe you should be doing that all right that's
great to go down
to the museum of radio and tv have you ever done that yeah sure and you can go
and you can just
basically uh call up any great old television show or radio show and and we
look oh yeah yeah it's
beautiful it's unbelievable yeah well we'll look for that amos and andy uh all
right you can hang
out we have amy smartest here but i love amy did you meet her i met her and i'm
a big fan of her
she's smart and uh that wasn't a joke it's not even on her it wasn't a joke
feeling slowing up and down picking up the pieces that you left behind hitting
a new type of flow
breathing in the smoke and clearing up my mind the thoughts over you i never
knew what the hell
you got me into what do you mean we had our first night at seaside heights yeah
that was great drinking
that beer yeah oh my god norm and i got to go out last night yeah there's a
place called the uh what's
the same about that yakety yakety yak cafe you guys know that place here it's
like a nightclub for
senior citizens really seriously they play like islands in the stream remember
that yeah that was
crazy you got a lot of the ladies laughing oh let me tell you man i told you
that one was a dude
i told you man i warned you i know i was a little upset we're having the
barbecue today after that
experience too but how about when when the girl you're talking to when um when
her teeth came out
it was crazy seriously yeah i wasn't talking to her during that point i
remember when you tried to
put him in back in her hey also our question of the day is um and norm's here
to talk about uh dirty
work which we're very excited yeah it's gonna be fun tell us a little about
just the plot of the movie
it's sort of a revenge movie yeah it's a movie about uh i play a guy that opens
a revenge for hire
business so i get revenge on people that can't think of them themselves and you
actually co-wrote
this movie and this idea actually stemmed from from you just having a fascination
about this idea i
love the idea of revenge yeah certainly our question of the day is what's the
best way you've gotten
an event so if you're here hanging out with us think of some ways that you've
gotten revenge do you
have any ways that you can think of in your own real life that you have well
this wasn't my idea but
my buddy did it when we were in college we sent these dudes uh at this fraternity
that we didn't
like a big bunch of donuts right and then uh they ate the donuts and then
underneath the donuts we had
a polaroid of me and my buddy with the donuts on our that's good how come you
didn't write that into
the movie we did they wouldn't let us do it all right you know we're gonna uh
we're gonna show
you a video right now it's actually a breakthrough videos from madonna part of
this was shot in our
new york studio uh in timescore you can check it out here is jonas acklin
directed this video
who did smack my bitch up from prodigy if you haven't seen it it moves rather
fast check out madonna
right now here's ray of light
hey how are you welcome back to the show the person daily norm mcdonald our
guest today star
of dirty work a movie that everybody in america has to go see at least once
that's what we're asking
yeah we're not asking a lot just go and check out norm's movie it's very funny
we're going to talk
about it just a little bit um we've actually started yesterday since norm's
going to be on the
show with us all week long kind of hanging out that and when you came out
yesterday you didn't look
in the like you were in the real beach attire right i've got a little more
working your way
i had a sweatshirt yesterday and i have a t-shirt but we're taking up a
collection fund to uh of
everybody here so by the end of the week maybe we'll get you in a skivvy yeah
yeah so this is the uh
norm mcdonald skinny white ass fund there it is sorry ski you got that we have
about 14 bucks in
now so i'll pass it around if you guys want to see norm in a you know like a thong
yeah by friday then
drop some money some of the ladies put some money in too put money in there for
christ's sake put some
stop taking the money hey that means there's some new music in source uh part
of the grassroots
movement from the bronx and it's just it's happening norm mcdonald everybody
hanging out with us
have they ever raised the roof for you that's pretty cool i love that band
better than ezra by the way
do you really but you know what band i don't like which one don't you like ezra
they're not as good

Norm Macdonald Made Carson Daly Almost Bearable

what's going on norm i've not seen you in forever you look you look great yeah
they all love you
they love you my audience loves you what's happening what's new your hair is
short you
look great yeah i got short i got a haircut when wow this is a very uninteresting
subject
yeah but it looks good it caught me off guard yeah yesterday oh wow yeah well
it's short it
makes sense yeah how's the family how's everything going oh great man couldn't
be better life is
uh it's fantastic yeah i like life man you do really oh my god people are
complaining about it
first of all you're lucky you're lucky enough to be alive when you think about
it you know i'm saying
your mother had to have sex with your father that your grandparents had to have
sex grand great
grandparents had to have sex it's lucky you're alive my god it's amazing and i'm
so happy every day
you should be alive because it's just a fluke there's so many more many more
people that never
got to be alive
and that's an interesting point i guess you're right if you do the math so when
people talk about it
i'm like man it's the greatest gig in the world being alive you get to you get
to eat at denny's
wear a hat whatever you want yeah yeah get haircuts it is well good i'm glad
life is going well i know
you're a big fan you competed in the world series of poker in the celebrity
event no in the real the
real deal deal yeah how was that um well it was sort of a nightmare i was
halfway through the first
day i was the massive chip leader right and then i think you were doing great
yeah it was first place
uh 8 800 people and then i threw it all away
you say that like it still tortures you to this day yeah what happened was it
all in one hand did
you just go all in with something that you shouldn't have it was it your bluffing
were you
no i was just uh i had pocket aces and the guy had jack queen he beat me but uh
uh so be it i was
going for number there's two ways of playing it right you can go to trickle
into the money or you can
go for first place so i was going for first place yeah you like to play poker
though right that was
that i like it okay yeah yeah all right i play a lot i got a little addicted to
it on the internet i
was playing like six games at once for seven eight hours a day yeah all right
so you like it a little
bit yeah i uh saw the poker area at one of the casinos in vegas and it's very
uh it's very bright
it's very sterile you can't like swear you can't smoke and i'm thinking well
there's no way norm
could really be into this poker thing because those are two of your favorite
things to do i got a lot of
penalties at the world series for smoking oh you can't even smoke because like
you know your races
get cragged and you go and you know and then it's like it's a 20 minute penalty
for each word so i'm
like out for an hour and a half you know but they let you back in yeah they let
you in after an hour
and a half what if you're swearing while smoking 10 cigarettes at once it's so
insane that you can't
swear and smoke because uh everybody there is a degenerate gambler that smokes
and swears
yeah it's a weird rule that they have there very strange i played the celebrity
poker that was the
hardest of all why uh well you go on the tv and uh poker is not that hard but
identifying these other
celebrities
yeah that should really be its own sort of gamble right there because i want to
bet on the fact that
i'm not quite sure that that guy is in creed i don't know exactly i'll bet a
thousand dollars
i think he that was a better juice factor in that they get peripheral
celebrities like me there's not
a lot like matlock's gonna be on the so you know you get like the i had to get
briefed there because
everybody's 20 they're like that's the guy of course don't you know him he's
right in that police
station uh he plays detective johnson so i remember i was i really enjoy your
work on police station
that time you right got that crook he's like norm it's me it's john stamos what's
with you don't
recognize me ah no john stamos is a great man he's a good guy you know john
sure i know him i know
him all right yeah that guy gets the ladies he does yeah some guys get the
ladies i'm telling you man
and it's it's you ever know these guys maybe in high school or something or
college it didn't you
couldn't figure out why they did it but they could get the ladies yeah maybe
they weren't the handsomest
guy but somehow like i had a guy a friend of mine bill this guy he could get
any i'm not exaggerating
when i say this every night he would have a different lady and they'd be
beautiful and finally i asked the
guy i said what's your secret you know he said i'm a serial rapist
that hardly counts you know yeah norman let me ask you i tried the roofies once
actually did you
because i had that you tried that as a technique of dating yeah because i said
ah these girls you go and
you feed them a nice hamburger and then uh it's not enough nothing happened so
i said i'll try these roofies
all right they didn't work at all man i couldn't even remember anything i woke
up three days later my
ass hurt i don't know what happened
this is the second night in the row we can't hear any of this this will be the
greatest website interview
ever none of this will make air they're just let me ask you about you grew up
in canada
everybody in canada speaks french but your father he forbid you from learning
french yeah yeah everybody in
quebec where i grew up quebec city about 99 percent french a few english people
and yeah my dad you
know the english hate the french his guts and uh so my dad wouldn't let me uh
learn french why
because he hated the french and so you in school you could take either french
or latin
and i took latin and in quebec city it turns out there's no ancient romans
that's right so i got beat up a lot by french guys which is about the most
humiliating thing that
could ever happen to you right aside from losing a celebrity poker to the guy
from the cop show
um let me ask you about there's a couple of shows coming on nbc this year that
both deal with uh snl
where you spend some time uh one of them is a drama one of them is a comedy uh
do you plan on watching
studio 60 or 30 rock you excited about these shows it seems odd that there's
two shows that are uh
backstage over the same show saturday night live right and uh i don't even know
if anybody watches
saturday night live let alone backstage is that i know they weren't watching
when i was on it
i thought you were great on saturday night live do you watch it now i thought
it was great on
saturday night live too do you ever go back do you ever go back to uh the snl
stage yeah i love it
you know because ever since i was a kid i watched saturday night live and i
always loved it you know
and i still love it i always go uh every time i'm in new york i go and see the
guys and stuff yeah it's
fun to go back there oh yeah you were there yeah i was there sure you'd always
hang out i know what's
going on um this is the comedy scene that norm put out and it's great but it's
different than what i
thought when i first put it i thought it was going to be sort of a traditional
comedy cd but i actually
enjoy this much better you mean like stand they want me yeah like it's not
stand up yeah i didn't
want to stand up because uh when i was a kid like i i'd listen to cheech and chong
and uh my python
and uh it'd be cool because i'd like you know my parents didn't know and it was
dirty and stuff like
that and stuff like that so uh i always wanted to do an album like that you
know that uh it's not
for kids they're like sketches but they're much much dirtier yeah they're
really filthy and this
album is not for kids but it's for kids yeah but if you're a kid go get it it
seems like when you
listen to this and it's cool because it's it takes you back to like how people
probably listen to radio
in the 50s or whatever it's very sort of theatrical it's very funny and and
dirty it's the theater of the
mind it is it is like when you know i'm an older fella you know i'm in my late
60s now when i was
when i was young things were different carson you know like like pot was
something that you know
you cook your eggs in you know what i'm saying right yeah it wasn't hash was
something that you'd eat
with your eggs you know it was a hash on the side you know what i'm saying acid
you know was something
that you'd uh you know throw uh in a guy's face if he made a pass with your
wife
you know what i mean it's all different it's all different when did you grow up
in the 40s yeah
i'm gonna know ecstasy you know what was ecstasy ecstasy was that feeling that
surged through your body
when you threw a bunch of acid in a guy's face it's all
it's changed and what i like about this album like you said the hidden track
yeah it's the hidden track and then they didn't why did you put it as track 13
yet it says hidden
track they told me they'd hide it it says hidden track i know then they put it
in but uh
that's ridiculous but the theater of the mind what i was going to say go back
to that is what is so
great when i was a kid we had no uh tv we had no tv we had the radio sure and
you see you had to use
your mind right you know how to use your imagination and my dad would collect
the kids around and we'd
listen to the radio and we had to use our mind especially with the hardcore
pornography
what show is that what show is it yeah what show was the name of the show yeah
that the family was
huddled around in the 30s when you were growing up i think it was the porn was
being read i can't
remember and you had to imagine it all the name of the show yeah amos and annie
yeah that's the one that's that's what i was thinking of those are great i like
to go down to the
radio come on now amos i don't believe you should be doing that all right that's
great to go down
to the museum of radio and tv have you ever done that yeah sure and you can go
and you can just
basically uh call up any great old television show or radio show and and we
look oh yeah yeah it's
beautiful it's unbelievable yeah well we'll look for that amos and andy uh all
right you can hang
out we have amy smartest here but i love amy did you meet her i met her and i'm
a big fan of her
she's smart and uh that wasn't a joke it's not even on her it wasn't a joke
feeling slowing up and down picking up the pieces that you left behind hitting
a new type of flow
breathing in the smoke and clearing up my mind the thoughts over you i never
knew what the hell
you got me into what do you mean we had our first night at seaside heights yeah
that was great drinking
that beer yeah oh my god norm and i got to go out last night yeah there's a
place called the uh what's
the same about that yakety yakety yak cafe you guys know that place here it's
like a nightclub for
senior citizens really seriously they play like islands in the stream remember
that yeah that was
crazy you got a lot of the ladies laughing oh let me tell you man i told you
that one was a dude
i told you man i warned you i know i was a little upset we're having the
barbecue today after that
experience too but how about when when the girl you're talking to when um when
her teeth came out
it was crazy seriously yeah i wasn't talking to her during that point i
remember when you tried to
put him in back in her hey also our question of the day is um and norm's here
to talk about uh dirty
work which we're very excited yeah it's gonna be fun tell us a little about
just the plot of the movie
it's sort of a revenge movie yeah it's a movie about uh i play a guy that opens
a revenge for hire
business so i get revenge on people that can't think of them themselves and you
actually co-wrote
this movie and this idea actually stemmed from from you just having a fascination
about this idea i
love the idea of revenge yeah certainly our question of the day is what's the
best way you've gotten
an event so if you're here hanging out with us think of some ways that you've
gotte