Name: We'd Rather Get AIDS than Be Called Homophobe
Uploaded: 2022-10-12T04:30:37.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We'd Rather Get AIDS than Be Called Homophobe' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We'd Rather Get AIDS than Be Called Homophobe' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-12. Transcript available.

As they say, all politics are local.
Apparently, you guys have a little history
because you used to be the manager of the,
this is my trusty sidekick, Ad Amigas.
You used to be the manager of the Tempe Improv,
the best club in the country.
Right.
And I did 10 minutes once in front of him,
and then I never played there again.
When did this turn into Crossfire?
And secondly, I didn't ban, I didn't ban him.
Who banned me?
I think it was Howard.
Yeah.
But you're a part of the same regime.
No, all right, well, technically, yeah.
Howard was an old man.
Yeah, like Kim Jong-un, right, has a soldier, but like...
Sure, yeah, I'm just following orders.
Yeah, but you're a part of the thing.
All right, I admit that.
All right.
And what did I do?
You know who else said they were just following orders?
Hitler.
Stalin was just like that.
What did I do?
You, yeah, I think you took your pants down.
On stage?
Yeah, he got pretty naked on stage.
Well, I wanted to prove a point.
I said that, you know, skin color is only your skin color,
and we're all pink on the inside, so I showed him my butthole.
I remember now.
Yeah, and that was my opener, and he didn't like that.
It's like Lenny Bruce.
It was a real opener.
I'm scared of letting go, go, go, I'm scared of letting go, go, go, I'm scared
of letting go, go, go, I'm scared of letting go, go, go, I'm scared of letting
go of everything in the past.
I'm scared of letting go.
Black is great.
Black is great.
Black is great.
Black is great.
Black is fantastic.
Right?
Yeah.
Yeah, black is fantastic.
Even though, you know, they're not black anymore.
But then again, we're not white, right?
Right.
We're pink like his fucking asshole.
I've seen it.
We're all the color of Bobby's asshole deep down.
Beautiful.
It's beautiful.
It's like you could do that as a poem.
Slam poetry.
That's what you should do, Bobby.
You should go on like a slam poetry thing in New York City.
Well, they have these, you know, I saw a wonderful play.
A guy went on a trapeze over the audience.
This was at the height of the AIDS epidemic.
And he cut himself.
And his blood, his AIDS, yeah, his AIDS-filled blood went all over the audience.
And then we'd cheer.
Because we were afraid to be politically incorrect.
So instead, we contract AIDS.
Wait, you were at the show?
Yeah.
You were being sprayed with AIDS blood?
No, we all, like, had got full-blown AIDS.
That's a terrible joke.
That's a terrible joke.
Terrible circuit.
Did you get your money back?
No, we pretended it was good.
Because we'd rather get AIDS than be called homophobes.
But this guy said one of those disturbing things to me.
He said he was very into the S&M, gay S&M scene.
And he said he loved when guys with AIDS would fuck them.
He said something like, when they pump their death up my hot ass.
I was like, oh, wait.
It was like a badge of courage, almost.
Yeah.
It's a real Stephen Crane fucking moment.
Oh, man.