Name: Mark Normand LOVES Norm Macdonald
Uploaded: 2022-10-19T17:21:34.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Mark Normand LOVES Norm Macdonald' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Mark Normand LOVES Norm Macdonald' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-10-19. Transcript available.

I've watched so many hours of his stuff, and I've met him, and he's like, he
was like this comedic bar, like, hey, we got Norm, you know, there's so much
shit comedy, then you see Norm, and you're like, this is next level, this is savant
type shit, and then to lose him is like, ah, Norm had 20 more years at least of
just content, and content, and thoughts, and his point of view, and that's, we'll
never get that, and that sucks.
He's just one of those guys who describes the most basic shit that we all know,
but it's funny when he, because he points it out, like, his Letterman set, the
last Letterman, when he goes, yeah, yeah, Germany decided to attack the world,
you know, and you're like, that's so true, and then he goes, who do you think
you are, Mars?
I mean, it's just so funny, those little things where he's just telling you
facts, and it's funny.
I met him once at the Comedy Cellar, and we chatted for five minutes, and then
he went on and did the Letterman set that he did, he was running the Letterman
set, and sweet guy, nice guy, didn't know him that well, but, I mean, he's just
brilliant, and I also love a brilliant guy who does stupid stuff.
That's a fun, fun little combo there, like, silly guys who are actually
brilliant also.
He was the king, he was the best, I mean, if you could play the, the chairman
of the board thing is probably his crown jewel and his panel.
There's this movie coming out.
Yes.
Title undetermined at this point.
Chairman of the board.
Oh, all right.
Do something with that, you freak.
I bet the board is spelled B-O-R-E-D.
Because he had so many great panel members, the moth joke, all that shit, but...
A moth goes into a podiatrist's office.
A moth goes into a podiatrist's office.
You are correct.
But, the one with the SNL, because a lot of comics are like, I don't give a
fuck, I say what I want.
This is the ultimate not giving a fuck.
He goes on, he gets fired from SNL, he gets rehired to host years later.
He's like, really?
Okay.
He's always hated them, because they fired him.
So he comes back, and tanks the whole show in the monologue.
And then just does the show.
Then it occurred to me, I haven't gotten funnier.
The show has gotten really bad.
So, yeah, I'm funny compared to, you know, well, you'll see later.
Okay, so let's recap.
The bad news is, I'm still not funny.
The good news is, the show blows.
He's my hero.
I love him to death.
Maybe one of the funniest guys on the planet.
Dave Attell, Norm, and that, there's something about those two.
National Treasures.
I agree.
And the fact that he's not, like, the biggest comic of all time is weird.
Well, he is to us.
I guess so.
The comics, I mean, he's not the biggest, but the comics, he's on.
The Mount Rushmore keeps getting bigger.
I know.
Foreheads is not a good enough amount.
You got to stop using that thing.
Yeah, it's a bad thing to say, the Mount Rushmore, but in the Hall of Fame.
One of the funniest guys on the planet.
One of my heroes.
Huge influence on me.
I've seen everything.
I watch his YouTube probably every other day.
I just put it on.
When I first met you and I saw you, I was like, oh, he's doing, like, a Jerry
Norm thing.
Yeah, completely.
He's Seinfeld and Norm.
He had another special in him.
He's great on podcasts.
I just wish he made more.
And, I mean, look, he's got a lot of stuff out there, so I'm getting greedy.
But I think he's one of the funniest people.
I mean, no one sounds like him.
Amazing jokes.
Great takes.
Brilliant comic.
His gambling stories on Howard Stern are incredible.
I read his book.
I've seen everything he's done.
Dirty Work is a great comedy.
I love Dirty Work.
I met him once at the cellar, and I got a photo with him, and now I'm so glad I
did.
He did Last Comic Standing.
He was the only honest judge.
He would tell comics they were hacks.
It was awesome.
The comics hated him.
Joe List did it, and he goes, Joe, you're a very good writer.
And Anthony Jesner goes, hey, Joe, Norm just called you ugly, which is such a
great line.
He would come in, and he would bomb a lot.
He would have jokes.
The audience would be like, oh.
He had this one great joke.
He's like, something, something, women are bad drivers.
And they went, oh, and he went, well, I want you to know a woman wrote that
joke.
And they went, oh, and he went, I'm kidding.
We don't hire women.
And you're like, yeah, that's a comic.
Come on.
He just kept teasing them.
That's a fucking combo.
He went this way, that way, then that way.
I mean, he's the best.
Who are safer drivers, men or women?
Well, according to a new survey, 55% of adults feel that women are most
responsible for minor fender benders,
while 78% blame men for most fatal crashes.
Please note that the percentages in these pie graphs do not add up to 100%
because the math was done by a woman.
For those of you hissing at that joke, it should be noted that that joke was
written by a woman.
So now you don't know what the hell to do, do you?
No, I'm just kidding.
We don't hire women.
He's like on another level where he's invented certain things I never knew.
He's taking comedy to this higher point, which I didn't know existed.
I wish I could come up with an example.
Well, he's another guy, too, that still does real comedy.
Like, when he goes on stage, he's still, he's fucking ballsy.
Yeah.
He swings.
Right.
And he gets confused if everybody's mad.
Like, what's happening?
Yeah.
Just a joke, yeah, folks?
He keeps it real.
I've got the board.
It's spelled B-O-R-E-D.
Falls out of the chair.
I mean, come on.
That is unbelievable.
I wish they let the laughs go a little longer.
Yeah.
They shorten it, but yeah.
Incredible.
You know, as a comic, we've all been in that moment where they're like, what do
you got now?
I mean, you handle hecklers all the time.
You're swatting flies all day long.
When you think of that line.
When Conan challenges you and you deliver, it's pretty damn cool.
And then to have that line, and he nailed it.
I mean, to put that much pressure on you on TV and nail it, I mean, it just
proves that
he's on another level.
B-O-R-E-D.
Come on.
To pull that out of your ass?
That is something.
And then the delivery.
He's so excited.
He's like a 10-year-old.
I bet it's called B-O-R-E-D-D.
It's like, oh, it's so funny.
God, I miss him already.
Oh, damn.
Brutal.
Thank God we have all the footage, at least.
But Jesus, we'll never get anything new.
I mean.
He's a, I don't want, you don't have to pull this up because it's long, but
there was
a radio show, like a morning show, like you have to do on the road for press.
And he's doing one, and he's like, well, you know, black people, they're poor.
And the lady is like, oh, my God, how can you say that, Norm?
That is so race.
He's like, I'm not, I'm reading the newspaper.
I'm watching the news.
I'm looking at the stats.
They're poor.
And she's like, oh, my God.
And all these black women call in.
They go, Norm's right.
We're fucking poor.
It sucks.
And he's like, you see?
You see?
It was such a great moment.
925 says, okay, Norm, come to my fifth grade class.
I dare you.
Well, where does she, is it, are there black people there?
Oh, my God.
What does that have to do with this?
Why, is it harder if there's black people there?
Because black people are generally poor, and poor people are generally
dangerous.
Oh, my God.
Wow, Norm.
I can't believe you just went there.
What, black people are rich?
Black people span all the strata.
No, no, no, no, no.
And you're saying that white people are poor.
No, black people are poorer than white people.
You didn't know that?
Norm.
Are you telling me that you think black people are poor?
What I'm saying is that I try not to pigeonhole people into black people are
poor.
Not into the truth.
Listen, there's a huge ignored middle class black population out there.
How dare you say black people are poor and therefore dangerous?
Because I want them to be not poor.
That's why.
And really, what's your plan?
My plan is to, first of all, admit that black people have less money than white
people.
Because we live in a racist society.
Black people, our phone number is 800-400-FM97.
If you'd like to talk with Norm MacDonald, I'm sure he'd love to take your call
right now.
Absolutely.
Michelle, you're on the air.
I just wanted to say, that was one of the funniest things I've ever heard.
What, that black people are poor?
It's hilarious.
The teacher thing, and you need to probably act like you're not offended by
that, because
first, you don't have a right to act like you're offended.
And that was funny as hell.
He is right about black people being poor.
You know it.
I know it.
And the black people know it.
Oh my God.
What has happened on the show?
Well, he taught us a lot today.
I think moms is a learning show.
Moms are an easy job.
Teachers are an easy job.
How long have you guys been living for the last 300 years in this country?
Steve, you're Paris.
You are on the air.
I think that that is completely untrue.
Go on.
Not all black people are poor.
Amen.
Sister?
Well, I didn't say that.
That's what you said.
No, you said black people have less money than white people.
Have less money than white people.
You've been to West Virginia?
Because there's some white people with no money there.
Okay, you're saying one black person has more money than one white person.
What about Eddie Murphy?
Yeah, what about Eddie Murphy?
You're saying by and large, if you break it down.
You're right.
Of course, black people have less money than white people.
Not all black people have less money than white people.
Oh my God.
But he's talking and just, we all get what he's saying.
Listen, listen, listen, listen.
Guys in a wheelchair, there's a guy in a wheelchair that can go faster than me
in a race.
But if I said guys in wheelchairs are generally slower than me, you know, come
on.
The way you said it was so harsh that to say.
Give your head a shake.
Give your head a shake.
Oh my God.
All right, thank you.
Hey, it's Danielle from Big Brother.
Famously black woman.
Where's my 40 acres and a mule?
I mean, my 40 acres and a mule.
But you know what?
He's right.
Go on, Danielle.
I mean, if you think about it, there's been cases where the same person will
apply for
a job and at times the other race gets the higher pay.
I'm just keeping it real, folks.
All right.
Thank you, Danielle.
I'm saying that having less.
Try to offend everyone equally.
Having less money or having or not having less money is not a product of your
nature.
It's that you don't have the money because the white people don't give you the
money.
You're actually supportive of black people to say that, actually.
Of course I'm supportive of black people.
I'm in a room of racists.
You're saying that to have justice, we should all have people.
Oh my God.
The 415.
Do you want to keep him for the next segment?
At this point, I'm not sure.
I'm finding Norm to be somewhat on the offensive side.
You know what?
No, I love that he's saying all this stuff and then looks over with a big smile.
I know, big smile.
He's like, oh man, they're going to talk about this all day.
Well, I didn't know that everyone, I thought San Francisco was a little more
open than...
No, San Francisco actually isn't...
They're racists?
No, they're not racists.
Well, so far, by the way, most people have agreed with me.
We're going to take a quick break.
When we come back, Norm and his babysitter Steve will still be here offending
people left
and right.
Stevie Ray from Steve.
We're not offending anyone but racists.
How do you figure?
To make a sweeping generalization that belittles...
It is.
It's not a sweeping generalization.
It's a statistical fact and it belittles no one.
It only states the fact that I hope we can change in this country.
If we're going to pretend that black and white people make the same amount of
money, then
nothing will ever change.
Come on.
You know that.
Can't we just see it as everybody...
Well, we can see it any way you want it, if you want to pretend.
Sarah's looking for some clean out.
You want to live in a fantasy world?
I am.
And you're not going to find it.
No, there's not a clean out.
You're digging.
I'm breaking.
You're digging deeper and deeper.
We'll be back.

Mark Normand LOVES Norm Macdonald

I've watched so many hours of his stuff, and I've met him, and he's like, he
was like this comedic bar, like, hey, we got Norm, you know, there's so much
shit comedy, then you see Norm, and you're like, this is next level, this is savant
type shit, and then to lose him is like, ah, Norm had 20 more years at least of
just content, and content, and thoughts, and his point of view, and that's, we'll
never get that, and that sucks.
He's just one of those guys who describes the most basic shit that we all know,
but it's funny when he, because he points it out, like, his Letterman set, the
last Letterman, when he goes, yeah, yeah, Germany decided to attack the world,
you know, and you're like, that's so true, and then he goes, who do you think
you are, Mars?
I mean, it's just so funny, those little things where he's just telling you
facts, and it's funny.
I met him once at the Comedy Cellar, and we chatted for five minutes, and then
he went on and did the Letterman set that he did, he was running the Letterman
set, and sweet guy, nice guy, didn't know him that well, but, I mean, he's just
brilliant, and I also love a brilliant guy who does stupid stuff.
That's a fun, fun little combo there, like, silly guys who are actually
brilliant also.
He was the king, he was the best, I mean, if you could play the, the chairman
of the board thing is probably his crown jewel and his panel.
There's this movie coming out.
Yes.
Title undetermined at this point.
Chairman of the board.
Oh, all right.
Do something with that, you freak.
I bet the board is spelled B-O-R-E-D.
Because he had so many great panel members, the moth joke, all that shit, but...
A moth goes into a podiatrist's office.
A moth goes into a podiatrist's office.
You are correct.
But, the one with the SNL, because a lot of comics are like, I don't give a
fuck, I say what I want.
This is the ultimate not giving a fuck.
He goes on, he gets fired from SNL, he gets rehired to host years later.
He's like, really?
Okay.
He's always hated them, because they fired him.
So he comes back, and tanks the whole show in the monologue.
And then just does the show.
Then it occurred to me, I haven't gotten funnier.
The show has gotten really bad.
So, yeah, I'm funny compared to, you know, well, you'll see later.
Okay, so let's recap.
The bad news is, I'm still not funny.
The good news is, the show blows.
He's my hero.
I love him to death.
Maybe one of the funniest guys on the planet.
Dave Attell, Norm, and that, there's something about those two.
National Treasures.
I agree.
And the fact that he's not, like, the biggest comic of all time is weird.
Well, he is to us.
I guess so.
The comics, I mean, he's not the biggest, but the comics, he's on.
The Mount Rushmore keeps getting bigger.
I know.
Foreheads is not a good enough amount.
You got to stop using that thing.
Yeah, it's a bad thing to say, the Mount Rushmore, but in the Hall of Fame.
One of the funniest guys on the planet.
One of my heroes.
Huge influence on me.
I've seen everything.
I watch his YouTube probably every other day.
I just put it on.
When I first met you and I saw you, I was like, oh, he's doing, like, a Jerry
Norm thing.
Yeah, completely.
He's Seinfeld and Norm.
He had another special in him.
He's great on podcasts.
I just wish he made more.
And, I mean, look, he's got a lot of stuff out there, so I'm getting greedy.
But I think he's one of the funniest people.
I mean, no one sounds like him.
Amazing jokes.
Great takes.
Brilliant comic.
His gambling stories on Howard Stern are incredible.
I read his book.
I've seen everything he's done.
Dirty Work is a great comedy.
I love Dirty Work.
I met him once at the cellar, and I got a photo with him, and now I'm so glad I
did.
He did Last Comic Standing.
He was the only honest judge.
He would tell comics they were hacks.
It was awesome.
The comics hated him.
Joe List did it, and he goes, Joe, you're a very good writer.
And Anthony Jesner goes, hey, Joe, Norm just called you ugly, which is such a
great line.
He would come in, and he would bomb a lot.
He would have jokes.
The audience would be like, oh.
He had this one great joke.
He's like, something, something, women are bad drivers.
And they went, oh, and he went, well, I want you to know a woman wrote that
joke.
And they went, oh, and he went, I'm kidding.
We don't hire women.
And you're like, yeah, that's a comic.
Come on.
He just kept teasing them.
That's a fucking combo.
He went this way, that way, then that way.
I mean, he's the best.
Who are safer drivers, men or women?
Well, according to a new survey, 55% of adults feel that women are most
responsible for minor fender benders,
while 78% blame men for most fatal crashes.
Please note that the percentages in these pie graphs do not add up to 100%
because the math was done by a woman.
For those of you hissing at that joke, it should be noted that that joke was
written by a woman.
So now you don't know what the hell to do, do you?
No, I'm just kidding.
We don't hire women.
He's like on another level where he's invented certain things I never knew.
He's taking comedy to this higher point, which I didn't know existed.
I wish I could come up with an example.
Well, he's another guy, too, that still does real comedy.
Like, when he goes on stage, he's still, he's fucking ballsy.
Yeah.
He swings.
Right.
And he gets confused if everybody's mad.
Like, what's happening?
Yeah.
Just a joke, yeah, folks?
He keeps it real.
I've got the board.
It's spelled B-O-R-E-D.
Falls out of the chair.
I mean, come on.
That is unbelievable.
I wish they let the laughs go a little longer.
Yeah.
They shorten it, but yeah.
Incredible.
You know, as a comic, we've all been in that moment where they're like, what do
you got now?
I mean, you handle hecklers all the time.
You're swatting flies all day long.
When you think of that line.
When Conan challenges you and you deliver, it's pretty damn cool.
And then to have that line, and he nailed it.
I mean, to put that much pressure on you on TV and nail it, I mean, it just
proves that
he's on another level.
B-O-R-E-D.
Come on.
To pull that out of your ass?
That is something.
And then the delivery.
He's so excited.
He's like a 10-year-old.
I bet it's called B-O-R-E-D-D.
It's like, oh, it's so funny.
God, I miss him already.
Oh, damn.
Brutal.
Thank God we have all the footage, at least.
But Jesus, we'll never get anything new.
I mean.
He's a, I don't want, you don't have to pull this up because it's long, but
there was
a radio show, like a morning show, like you have to do on the road for press.
And he's doing one, and he's like, well, you know, black people, they're poor.
And the lady is like, oh, my God, how can you say that, Norm?
That is so race.
He's like, I'm not, I'm reading the newspaper.
I'm watching the news.
I'm looking at the stats.
They're poor.
And she's like, oh, my God.
And all these black women call in.
They go, Norm's right.
We're fucking poor.
It sucks.
And he's like, you see?
You see?
It was such a great moment.
925 says, okay, Norm, come to my fifth grade class.
I dare you.
Well, where does she, is it, are there black people there?
Oh, my God.
What does that have to do with this?
Why, is it harder if there's black people there?
Because black people are generally poor, and poor people are generally
dangerous.
Oh, my God.
Wow, Norm.
I can't believe you just went there.
What, black people are rich?
Black people span all the strata.
No, no, no, no, no.
And you're saying that white people are poor.
No, black people are poorer than white people.
You didn't know that?
Norm.
Are you telling me that you think black people are poor?
What I'm saying is that I try not to pigeonhole people into black people are
poor.
Not into the truth.
Listen, there's a huge ignored middle class black population out there.
How dare you say black people are poor and therefore dangerous?
Because I want them to be not poor.
That's why.
And really, what's your plan?
My plan is to, first of all, admit that black people have less money than white
people.
Because we live in a racist society.
Black people, our phone number is 800-400-FM97.
If you'd like to talk with Norm MacDonald, I'm sure he'd love to take your call
right now.
Absolutely.
Michelle, you're on the air.
I just wanted to say, that was one of the funniest things I've ever heard.
What, that black people are poor?
It's hilarious.
The teacher thing, and you need to probably act like you're not offended by
that, because
first, you don't have a right to act like you're offended.
And that was funny as hell.
He is right about black people being poor.
You know it.
I know it.
And the black people know it.
Oh my God.
What has happened on the show?
Well, he taught us a lot today.
I think moms is a learning show.
Moms are an easy job.
Teachers are an easy job.
How long have you guys been living for the last 300 years in this country?
Steve, you're Paris.
You are on the air.
I think that that is completely untrue.
Go on.
Not all black people are poor.
Amen.
Sister?
Well, I didn't say that.
That's what you said.
No, you said black people have less money than white people.
Have less money than white people.
You've been to West Virginia?
Because there's some white people with no money there.
Okay, you're saying one black person has more money than one white person.
What about Eddie Murphy?
Yeah, what about Eddie Murphy?
You're saying by and large, if you break it down.
You're right.
Of course, black people have less money than white people.
Not all black people have less money than white people.
Oh my God.
But he's talking and just, we all get what he's saying.
Listen, listen, listen, listen.
Guys in a wheelchair, there's a guy in a wheelchair that can go faster than me
in a race.
But if I said guys in wheelchairs are generally slower than me, you know, come
on.
The way you said it was so harsh that to say.
Give your head a shake.
Give your head a shake.
Oh my God.
All right, thank you.
Hey, it's Danielle from Big Brother.
Famously black woman.
Where's my 40 acres and a mule?
I mean, my 40 acres and a mule.
But you know what?
He's right.
Go on, Danielle.
I mean, if you think about it, there's been cases where the same person will
apply for
a job and at times the other race gets the higher pay.
I'm just keeping it real, folks.
All right.
Thank you, Danielle.
I'm saying that having less.
Try to offend everyone equally.
Having less money or having or not having less money is not a product of your
nature.
It's that you don't have the money because the white people don't give you the
money.
You're actually supportive of black people to say that, actually.
Of course I'm supportive of black people.
I'm in a room of racists.
You're saying that to have justice, we should all have people.
Oh my God.
The 415.
Do you want to keep him for the next segment?
At this point, I'm not sure.
I'm finding Norm to be somewhat on the offensive side.
You know what?
No, I love that he's saying all this stuff and then looks over with a big smile.
I know, big smile.
He's like, oh man, they're going to talk about this all day.
Well, I didn't know that everyone, I thought San Francisco was a little more
open than...
No, San Francisco actually isn't...
They're racists?
No, they're not racists.
Well, so far, by the way, most people have agreed with me.
We're going to take a quick break.
When we come back, Norm and his babysitter Steve will still be here offending
people left
and right.
Stevie Ray from Steve.
We're not offending anyone but racists.
How do you figure?
To make a sweeping generalization that belittles...
It is.
It's not a sweeping generalization.
It's a statistical fact and it belittles no one.
It only states the fact that I hope we can change in this country.
If we're going to pretend that black and white people make the same amount of
money, then
nothing will ever change.
Come on.
You know that.
Can't we just see it as everybody...
Well, we can see it any way you want it, if you want to pretend.
Sarah's lo