Name: The Greatest Bill Cosby Story Ever
Uploaded: 2022-11-07T05:47:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Greatest Bill Cosby Story Ever' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Greatest Bill Cosby Story Ever' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-07. Transcript available.

I love Bob Holt.
I thought he was the greatest comedian ever.
I think Bill Cosby's the biggest comedian of all time.
Oh, do you?
Yeah.
I don't think anyone will ever match his production and quality of material.
Do you like Bill Cosby?
I love Bill Cosby.
Yeah.
Did you listen to those records when you were a kid?
Sure.
I mean, listen, I grew up, he was my hero, you know?
I loved him.
I wanted to be just like him.
Great stand.
I didn't like his comedy, but I wanted to be just like him.
What do you mean?
You're sick.
I'm only kidding.
Okay.
You know, I had maybe the greatest Bill Cosby story ever.
Really?
And now it's not in the top 10,000.
Because I'll tell people the story.
Right.
And I'll constantly be interrupted by it.
And then, did he rape you?
He didn't ever rape me?
It had nothing to do with the story.
There was a story you had told about your father and Bill Cosby on David Letterman.
Do you think you could share that with us right now?
I remember that.
That was when, no, I opened for Bill Cosby.
Right.
You want me to tell you the story?
Yeah, tell the story.
It was terrific.
Now, I opened for Bill Cosby at this college.
So, there's 100,000 people at the college, you know?
It's the University of Oklahoma.
Can you guys hear me?
Yeah, for sure.
Like 100,000 people to see your show, Norm?
Or just...
No, to see Bill Cosby.
Oh, to see Bill Cosby.
I'm opening for him.
Oh, okay.
So, you know, it's a football stadium, you know?
So, they have this little tiny, like, stage, you know?
So, I went up there, and I had my suit on and everything.
And then I talked, and I'm like, no one laughed.
Like, they were all just talking to each other.
I don't think they even noticed me on stage, you know?
And they didn't mind that I was on stage, but they didn't boo or anything.
I don't even think they saw me.
So, I finished my thing, and then I got off, and Bill Cosby came up.
And he was wearing, and he talks like just in little, he talks like he doesn't
use full sentences.
So, he said, why?
I was wearing a suit.
He goes, why?
This suit, you know?
Suit!
Or something like that.
So, I said, no.
I was trying to show the respect, you know?
Bill Cosby goes, college, wear the sweatshirt and the pants, you know?
He just had a sweatsuit on, you know?
So, anyway, he says, this shows you how good Cosby is.
He's like, he was asking the girl, like, from the student union or wherever.
He goes, what's going on here, you know?
So, she goes, well, next week we're playing Tulsa.
And it's a big game, you know?
So, then he goes on stage, and he goes, we're playing Oklahoma State.
He goes, Oklahoma State!
So, everyone cheers, right?
Then he goes, Tulsa!
Then everyone boos.
And then he says it slower.
He goes, Oklahoma State!
Then everyone goes crazy.
He goes, Tulsa!
He does this, like, six times, and the audience is going insane by the end of
it, like, cheering
and booing.
And then at the end, he goes, next week I'll be playing Tulsa, and I'll be
doing Mad Ben
in the reverse.
Yeah!
Then he laughs, someone laughs.
So, then they loved him.
You know, they didn't even notice I was on stage.
And, so anyway.
Then the show ends.
And then I'm talking to him, and I was telling him, because when I grew up, my
dad and I would
listen to Bill Cosby albums.
He would love Bill Cosby.
My dad.
So, I said, my dad loves you.
He goes, where does your dad live?
When I said, Ottawa, he goes, Ottawa?
And then he turns to his manager guy who was with him, and he goes, Maury, aren't
we playing
in Ottawa?
When?
I thought the schedule.
So, then the guy goes, yeah.
He goes, we're doing it in August.
He goes, yes, take the man's name down, and we will.
And then he says, I will meet with your father, take him back, and we will
speak.
And I will put him in the front, because he will like to be, and then after.
So, just give him, put the number down on the paper.
So, then, like, I go to write the number down, and it occurs to me that my
father's dead.
So, uh, but I don't want to say that to Bill Cosby, you know?
So, I just write down a fucking, any fucking number.
Like, I just write the area code, and then seven digits.
So, uh, that's the story.
So, then later, like, a couple of months go by, and, uh, this also shows you,
like, the
power of, like, a guy like Bill Cosby.
I was doing, like, uh, I was doing some lame, uh, thing on the Drew Carey show,
you know?
Like, uh, like, uh, like I was supposed to be a lawyer or something, uh, for
one episode of the Drew Carey show.
So, I'm on the Drew Carey show.
I'm doing, uh, I'm rehearsing.
And, uh, a lady runs up, and she goes, Bill Cosby's on the phone.
You know?
So, I go, what?
So, I go, and I answer the phone, and it's fucking, it's, uh, there, I swore.
It's, uh, Bill Cosby.
So, I go, hello?
He goes, your father does not answer at the phone.
I phoned the number, and the phone rang, and it, uh, would, then another voice
came, it was a machine, and it was a person saying that the number was not used
by a person, and all this, you know?
So, I'm like, instead of just telling him, I just said, no, that's the number.
That was all, I didn't know, it was impossible for him to say.
But, uh, so, anyway, that's the story.
And then I told that story on Letterman once, and, uh, I guess Cosby saw it,
and then the next day, this was when I was working on Saturday Night Live, um,
the next day, I went to my office, and there was, like, 300, like, things of
flowers.
There was flowers, like, everywhere in my office.
And then, I, I, I was, and then about five days later, like, I found there was
a little tiny card on one of the flowers, and it said, uh, I hate, I hate to be
the one to break, I'm doing his voice, but it said, I hate to be the one to
break it to you, but your father is long since dead.
Well, that's the story.
God damn, that was a long story.
But it was good, it was good.
Have, have you had any contact with Dr. Cosby since then, Norm?
The doctor, yeah, Dr. William H. Cosby, E.D.?
Yeah, that, that's him.
No, I've never talked to Bill Cosby since then, but I love that guy.
How, how much are you bothered by the fact that this comedian who you really
thought was great, turns out to be this person doing horrible things?
Do, are you able, do you separate his work from the person?
Does it taint it at all?
Not at all, not at all, because, uh, listen, listen, suppose, I don't know, I
don't know, I don't know nothing about these old fellas, but, uh, you hear, hey,
uh, uh,
Beethoven.
Yeah.
Raped his own daughter.
He did?
Well, let's say he did.
Okay.
Would you give a good god damn?
Would you give a rat son?
Yeah, I would.
That's pretty bad.
Pick a different crime.
Different crime.
Now, do you think, uh, Cosby's, uh, legacy, uh, will be her?
Yeah.
You do, huh?
I mean, there was a comedian, Patton Oswalt, he told me, I think the worst part
of the Cosby, uh,
part of the Cosby thing was the hypocrisy, and I disagreed.
You disagreed with that?
Yeah.
I thought it was the raping.
That's my feeling, most rapists are hypocrites.
You don't meet many and go, I like raping, and I, I know it's not politically
correct, but by God, people go, well, he's not being a hypocrite, and that's
the worst part.
*laughs*