Name: Norm Trolling David Koechner the Entire Podcast
Uploaded: 2022-11-25T00:34:32.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Trolling David Koechner the Entire Podcast' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Trolling David Koechner the Entire Podcast' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-25. Transcript available.

Still, did you see Django Unchained?
Yeah, I did.
Okay.
You remember when Leonardo DiCaprio and the boys were sitting around watching
the slaves fight to death?
Yeah, awful.
Yeah, awful.
He's not doing what I told him, for God's sake.
But isn't that what boxing is?
No.
You and your rich friends, you go to Vegas, you say, bring up those poor black
people from the ghetto.
In the ghetto.
I don't think that's the requirement.
And a mother cry.
I don't think that you have to be African American.
You have to be poor.
Okay.
It just so happens, I think.
Maybe because that's a way out for kids.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But do you think it's cool that rich people pay money to watch two poor people
fight to the death?
Well, if they're good, they won't be poor anymore.
Mayweather was one of the top paid athletes last year.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And he lost it all on the Jaguars.
This car costs $3.2 million.
This Bugatti right here costs $1.6 million.
You ain't seen these, Tony.
I haven't seen these?
No.
What?
Boy, this is seven cars, man.
Silver, platinum, Miami, black L.A., white, Vegas.
I thought we were going over my credits, and you've lured me into a discussion.
You put me on the side of the argument.
I'm trying to say.
A rich white person oppressing young black males into boxing.
I don't know how I got that.
Let's go back to Saturday Night Live.
All right.
Because it was always a mystery to me why you were fired.
I had my own theory.
It's a rather shallow theory.
I'd love to hear your theory.
You were bald.
Oh, that would not make it an issue.
That would be the worst reason ever.
I grasped onto that you were bald.
You know what I mean?
The way that conspiracy theorists go, by God, one disturbed 24-year-old could
not have taken down Camelot.
I think the same way with you.
Was Oswald 24?
He was an overachiever.
He looked older than 24.
I look at the poster for Anchorman 2, and what do I see on the poster?
Paul Rudd.
Who else do I see?
Will Ferrell.
Who else do I see?
Steve Carell.
Steve Carell.
Who else do I see?
David Koechner.
Three multimillionaires.
I'm not multimillionaires.
Do you think I'm really wealthy?
No, I said three multimillionaires.
Oh, three.
Listen, folks.
Name me another guy that had that many characters in the first year of Saturday
Night Live by Eddie Murphy.
Well, I'll bet you Mike Myers did.
First year?
Mike Myers' first year?
Nothing.
Nothing?
Why do I keep getting put on this side?
You're not a bitter man.
You're not bitter.
What's out of these arguments?
Well, you must have.
Your father had something to do with turkeys.
Well, I was told.
A little birdie told me.
He was a manufacturer of turkey coops.
What is your favorite project you've ever worked on?
This.
I want to talk about Dell clothes.
Favorite project you've ever worked on?
There's tons.
There's tons of them.
Yeah.
A recent one on this is not just a plug.
So you don't understand the word favorite.
Wow.
Is this called Norm's Hotbox today?
This guy, Kiwi Sherman 300 is his name.
He says in a few words,
tell us why Second City is so much better than the grandlings or right Citizensburg.
Is it?
That's what he thinks.
He said, tell me why it is?
Yeah.
I keep getting put into this situation.
Here's your argument you must defend.
What are its properties?
Can you tell me some of the properties a mug might have, Norm?
I've lost him.
I think he's asleep.
No, no, no, no.
I can tell you what properties a mug might have,
but I think you might be interested in the fact that this guy used to jerk off
punks
under the Queensborough Bridge for $15 a man.
Are you sure they were punks?
How did we get there?
In improvisation, you get a suggestion.
Can I play one of the Deadly Sins?
Yes.
You let that inform what you're going to do, for instance.
Pick one of your favorite Deadly Sins.
Well, I remember one time a preacher that I used to know when I was a young boy.
And he said, I was driving his bicycle, you know, here and there and here again.
I was driving his bicycle.
What's going on?
I was going to tell you a story.
I know.
But it has to do with this.
Okay.
And he's a good man, pious man.
And one day his bicycle went missing.
So, my daddy said to him, Bert, that was his name, but we weren't Catholic, you
know.
He just called him the preacher by his first name.
Bert, I think I know how to find out who stole your bicycle.
How would I do it?
When you're talking, when you're doing your sermon next week, you just go
through the Ten Commandments.
You just go through the Ten Commandments from one to ten.
And when you hit number eight, thou shalt not steal.
You look at the congregation and you'll see somebody.
See, doing this here, you know.
Fiddling with his glasses.
That's your thief.
I'll do it, Bert says.
So, my daddy told me that story.
And I was, boy, I was really hankering to see that speech that Bert was going
to say that day.
So, he goes through the Ten Commandments.
That's his, starts from one right down to ten.
Now, he gets to eight and speeds right through it.
Speeds right through eight.
My daddy said, what the hell?
So, afterwards, he gets outside.
Bert, what in earth happened?
Number eight was the one you were supposed to go on, you know, supposed to.
Why'd you speed through it?
Bert says, well, I'll tell you why.
When I came to number seven in the Ten Commandments, thou shalt not commit adultery.
By golly, I remember where I put my bag.
He was fucking Widow McClanahan.
Well, then it's not adultery.
She's a Widow.
No, but he's a man of the clock.
Oh, he's a Catholic.
He's a priest.
No, he's a reverend, but we have our, you know.
So, that's how we got there from the seven deadly sins.
Yeah.
Okay.