Name: Jim Norton & Sam Roberts on Norm Macdonald Best Moments
Uploaded: 2022-11-25T18:35:40.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jim Norton & Sam Roberts on Norm Macdonald Best Moments' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jim Norton & Sam Roberts on Norm Macdonald Best Moments' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-11-25. Transcript available.

But I do it all the time, I guess, just going through norm montages on YouTube.
He's just such a prolific joke writer.
Like, just so many jokes that, like, these norm montages that just pop up.
30 minutes of norm here, an hour of norm there.
It's like you just sit there watching the whole thing.
He had an amazing ability, too.
We were just watching that Jon Stewart, um, Crocodile Hunter clip.
I wanted to talk about the Crocodile Hunter.
Because I think, you know, it was tragic at the time.
But I think, I don't know, people call him and then they're shocked.
Oh, hey, you wouldn't believe it.
Who got killed?
The Crocodile Hunter.
Don't, please don't make me laugh at this.
And they were like, he was 44 years old.
I'm like, that's a ripe old age for a crocodile.
He just, he was really conversationally funny.
Like, the joke didn't have to end until he seemed to want it to end.
Yes.
Like, he just kept, like, it was funny, too.
I was watching, thinking the balls to do that.
Like, Jon Stewart is like, okay, like, you know, because he's laughing.
But he's like, all right, he was only 90.
And Norm's like, hey, Bill.
And he's just doing the, he's still doing the characters.
Like, he's not ready for it to be finished.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He didn't care about getting the laugh in the room sometimes.
Especially on those TV shows.
You know, obviously on stage.
But, like, in the room, he didn't necessarily care if people weren't going with
him.
That's the way he always was.
I mean, if you go back to those Weekend Update montages of Frank Stallone jokes,
Like, some of them land real hard, but some of them don't land at all.
According to the EPA, it will cost an estimated $295 million to clean up toxic
waste at the
former Lockheed Martin military aircraft plant in California.
The cause of the toxic waste?
You guessed it.
Frank Stallone.
In economic news, unemployment figures rose slightly for the month of October,
with declines in the Dow Jones and NASDAQ.
The reason for the sudden downturn?
You guessed it.
Frank Stallone.
And you could clearly see on his face, like, all these jokes are just for him.
Yeah, he didn't care.
He didn't care.
And they're hilarious.
Like, I don't know exactly when the bit is from,
but it seems like he probably wrote the bit right around when he first got the
diagnosis.
Because, like, this, I didn't even know the bit existed, to tell you the truth.
But people were passing it around yesterday of him talking about how men used
to be able
to just get sick and die, and now they have to wage a war against cancer.
And it's like, he probably wrote that.
That was 2001, or 2011.
So, yeah, probably.
As he got diagnosed.
As he got diagnosed.
Wow.
And I'm pretty sure, I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure,
if the cancer dies, I mean, if you die,
the cancer also dies at exactly the same time.
So, that, to me, is not a loss, that's a draw.
That's a, you know what I mean?
It's not like, the cancer's going to jump up and go,
I'm Uncle Bert's wife.
Where is he?
I won fair and square.
The cancer dies at the same time.
That's not a loss, that's a draw.
He would go on these talk shows and do, like,
old man joke jokes.
And they were long.
Like, when he went on Conan O'Brien and did the moth joke.
Yeah.
A moth, a moth goes into a podiatrist's office.
A moth goes into a podiatrist's office.
You are correct.
And it took four minutes to get there,
and the punchline is just, it's a joke joke punchline.
But he liked it, he just loved the joke so much
that he was getting through it.
And he gets there, and it's like, it's worth it.
And so the moth, the doctor says,
moth, man, you're troubled.
But you should be seeing a psychiatrist.
Why on earth did you come here?
And then the moth said,
because the light was on.
The ability to do that and to not panic and to not bail out
and to commit to it and go,
this is what I'm doing and that's it.
I found, as I was looking at clips,
it seemed like his three favorite topics on Weekend Update
were OJ, obviously Frank Stallone,
and Vince Foster,
and making jokes about Clinton murdering Vince Foster.
But again, veteran news anchorman David Brinkley
apologized to Bill Clinton for an election night commentary
in which he called the president, quote,
boring and uncreative.
Admitted Brinkley,
there was certainly nothing uncreative
about the way you moved Vince Foster's body.
President's a murderer.
You didn't know that?
Here's another OJ joke from Weekend Update.
In his book, OJ Simpson says
that he would have taken a bullet
or stood in front of a train for Nicole.
Man, I'm going to tell you,
that is some bad luck
when the one guy who would have died for you
kills you.
That's right.
Relentless.
Just, yeah, it really is.
The beauty of Norm is there is nothing underlying.
It's just about the joke.
It's just about being funny.
You know, that's it.
What's the funniest thing for this moment?
Yep.
This is what it is.
He hated what was going on in comedy
as far as people being punished.
I mean, he really hated it.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, I mean,
that's the one time
that he actually started to get in trouble
was because he was defending Louis
and he was defending Roseanne.
And Shane.
And he defended Shane.
Yep, big time defender of Shane.
Because he got it.
Because he's like,
we're telling jokes here.
What are we doing?
Yeah.
Yeah, he was really serious about that.
Yeah, it's terrible.
Just terrible.
He spent a lot of time being funny, though.
Oh, fucking hilarious.
He put a lot of funny out there.
Yeah.
And I don't think there's anybody
with a similar delivery or a similar,
like, it's completely unique.
He's a completely unique thinker
and just a completely unique joke teller,
joke writer.
If you try to do a Norm joke,
it's like, that's like, no, that's,
it's not funny when anybody else does it.
And it's because they're not,
I mean, he's a genius.
It's natural.
Yes.
It's completely natural.
It's completely,
you don't watch it for a second thinking,
this is not who this guy is.
Yeah.
Like, you watch it and go,
this is completely natural
for him to tell a joke this way
or to talk this way.
That's why he could end the joke
when he wanted to
because he seemed so comfortable
and natural that,
all right, whenever he says
it's done, it's done.
You were with him for the,
you were on the dais
for the Bob Saget roast
of Comedy Central.
Yep.
And that's one of those instances
where, of course,
it's like, oh,
I can't wait.
Norm's going to be so outrageous.
Norm's just going to say stuff
that you could never say on TV.
And then he gets up there
and he just does.
All old man jokes.
No, but Bob has a beautiful face
like a flower.
Yeah, cauliflower.
No offense, but your face
looks like a cauliflower.
Yeah, I believe his joke about you
was that you're a very colorful person
because you have a yellow belly
and you're green with envy.
And that was it.
Like, there was no follow.
It's like, that's the joke.
And Jim Norton of here
is, of course,
probably the one most colorful characters
I've ever met.
Colorful personalities I know.
You're green with envy
and you have a yellow streak
down your back.
One of his jokes
about Giraldo was like,
I'd love to have Giraldo's brain
not because he's smart
but because it's very unused.
Like, thanks.
But if I ever need
a brain transplant,
well, I would choose yours, Greg.
And here's why.
It's not because you're smart.
It's because
your brain has never been used.
No, but Greg Corraldo,
I'm just joking him.
He has the grace of a swan,
the wisdom of an owl,
and the eye of an eagle.
Ladies and gentlemen,
this man is for the birds.
Man's for the birds.
Tell,
I think I was sitting there
like all day yesterday
telling, like,
just stopping,
Jess is like taking care of the kids.
And I'm like,
Jess, there's another Norm joke.
There's because I'm looking at YouTube.
And I'm like,
all right, Jess,
this was another one of Norm's jokes.
This is from Weekend Update
like in the 90s.
All summer,
Better Than Ezra
was the number one band
in America.
The number two band,
Ezra.
And in music news,
number one on the college charts
this summer
was Better Than Ezra.
And at number two,
Ezra.
according to a controversial
new biography,
Elizabeth Taylor,
like...
You see,
a bunch of clips
were going around.
You see the clip of him
on The View
from like,
really early on.
It was from like 2000.
It was when the
The View was
at its early stages.
No.
I don't think so.
It's fucking great.
I think I tweeted it,
Travis,
if that's the quickest way,
I don't know,
to find just the clip.
Yeah,
that's it.
See,
I think we should get
the homicide
out of the White House
and get like a fresh start
because we don't want
any more murderers.
I think we should just
go on to the next question.
Who are the murderers?
Oh, Clinton,
he murdered a guy.
You're not allowed
to put out
more accusations
without...
That's a little too far.
That's the way
it doesn't work.
Let's just go on
to the next question.
This is not my week.
What can I tell you?
Oh, it's not mine either.
I'm being very nice, okay?
Be a good boy.
Now, Norm...
Do you never hear that?
No.
We don't need
to talk about that.
I don't want to get into this
and I don't want to hear it
and this is not the place
to make those accusations
and you're supposed
to be funny.
Let's get on.
There you go.
See right there?
No, he's not angry about it.
He doesn't...
What great instincts, man.
Not mad.
He's just having a great time.
He always looked
like he was having
a great time.
He's almost too dumb
to realize,
what did I say?
I thought we were all...
Just having fun.
What?
You didn't know?
He's like,
you didn't hear that?
And the wind finally
dies down and he goes,
what?
You didn't hear that?
Listen to how
he follows it up.
This is a live show.
Why?
But you have been
properly chastised
by Barbara.
So I'm now going
to ask the next question.
I thought it was
a matter of record.
Let me do this.
There are people
that after they got
invited to the White House
Correspondents' Dinner,
they'd be like,
oh, okay,
maybe I can get in
with the Clintons now.
Maybe I can meet
these powerful friends.
Maybe I can...
Two and a half years
after the Correspondents' Dinner,
he's going on The View
and making jokes.
Clinton murdered someone.
He murdered a guy!
I didn't care.
I thought it was
a matter of record.
He thought
Barbara's problem
was that Barbara
hadn't...
Yeah.
You didn't hear?
You didn't know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That she was ignorant
and he was just
bringing her up to speed.
Just informing her.
Did you see the clip
that was going around
of him on Conan O'Brien
with Courtney Thorne-Smith?
I don't know.
This, I feel like...
This Courtney Thorne-Smith clip
is somewhat similar
to the Patrice Fox News clip.
This is just what she has to say.
We are outraged
and fired
and fired
and fired.
Name-calling.
I'm outraged.
I am outraged.
You should be.
I am a fool.
Now, if I called you a fool...
In the sense that this just
has become one of those
legendary, like...
This is the example
of why you would have this guy
on your talk show
and why he doesn't...
He doesn't care.
Courtney Thorne-Smith
is on Conan O'Brien
with Norm.
Norm was the first guest.
And he, unfortunately for her...
Decided to stick around.
He stuck around on the couch
for her interview, yes.
And she's trying to promote
her movie.
Who is she?
But, uh, what's the movie
going to be called?
Really?
I know what it's going to be called.
Yeah, what's that?
If it's got carrot top in it,
you know what a good name
for it would be?
What's that, Norm?
Box office poison.
There's this movie coming out.
Yes.
Title undetermined at this point.
Chairman of the board.
Oh.
All right.
Do something with that,
you freak.
I bet the board is spelled
B-O-R-E-D.
His face after he does it.
Dude, he's delighted.
Again, just perfect timing.
Yeah.
That's the other thing
you don't want to do, right?
Just, like, just say Norm jokes.
Right.
You know what I mean?
You want to, like, yeah.
Although they are,
it's funny,
he's one of those guys
where just saying his jokes,
they are well-written enough
where it works.
Yeah, I mean,
I think that's part of the appeal, too,
that, like,
especially some of his joke jokes,
you can just take and, like,

Jim Norton &  Sam Roberts on Norm Macdonald Best Moments

But I do it all the time, I guess, just going through norm montages on YouTube.
He's just such a prolific joke writer.
Like, just so many jokes that, like, these norm montages that just pop up.
30 minutes of norm here, an hour of norm there.
It's like you just sit there watching the whole thing.
He had an amazing ability, too.
We were just watching that Jon Stewart, um, Crocodile Hunter clip.
I wanted to talk about the Crocodile Hunter.
Because I think, you know, it was tragic at the time.
But I think, I don't know, people call him and then they're shocked.
Oh, hey, you wouldn't believe it.
Who got killed?
The Crocodile Hunter.
Don't, please don't make me laugh at this.
And they were like, he was 44 years old.
I'm like, that's a ripe old age for a crocodile.
He just, he was really conversationally funny.
Like, the joke didn't have to end until he seemed to want it to end.
Yes.
Like, he just kept, like, it was funny, too.
I was watching, thinking the balls to do that.
Like, Jon Stewart is like, okay, like, you know, because he's laughing.
But he's like, all right, he was only 90.
And Norm's like, hey, Bill.
And he's just doing the, he's still doing the characters.
Like, he's not ready for it to be finished.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He didn't care about getting the laugh in the room sometimes.
Especially on those TV shows.
You know, obviously on stage.
But, like, in the room, he didn't necessarily care if people weren't going with
him.
That's the way he always was.
I mean, if you go back to those Weekend Update montages of Frank Stallone jokes,
Like, some of them land real hard, but some of them don't land at all.
According to the EPA, it will cost an estimated $295 million to clean up toxic
waste at the
former Lockheed Martin military aircraft plant in California.
The cause of the toxic waste?
You guessed it.
Frank Stallone.
In economic news, unemployment figures rose slightly for the month of October,
with declines in the Dow Jones and NASDAQ.
The reason for the sudden downturn?
You guessed it.
Frank Stallone.
And you could clearly see on his face, like, all these jokes are just for him.
Yeah, he didn't care.
He didn't care.
And they're hilarious.
Like, I don't know exactly when the bit is from,
but it seems like he probably wrote the bit right around when he first got the
diagnosis.
Because, like, this, I didn't even know the bit existed, to tell you the truth.
But people were passing it around yesterday of him talking about how men used
to be able
to just get sick and die, and now they have to wage a war against cancer.
And it's like, he probably wrote that.
That was 2001, or 2011.
So, yeah, probably.
As he got diagnosed.
As he got diagnosed.
Wow.
And I'm pretty sure, I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure,
if the cancer dies, I mean, if you die,
the cancer also dies at exactly the same time.
So, that, to me, is not a loss, that's a draw.
That's a, you know what I mean?
It's not like, the cancer's going to jump up and go,
I'm Uncle Bert's wife.
Where is he?
I won fair and square.
The cancer dies at the same time.
That's not a loss, that's a draw.
He would go on these talk shows and do, like,
old man joke jokes.
And they were long.
Like, when he went on Conan O'Brien and did the moth joke.
Yeah.
A moth, a moth goes into a podiatrist's office.
A moth goes into a podiatrist's office.
You are correct.
And it took four minutes to get there,
and the punchline is just, it's a joke joke punchline.
But he liked it, he just loved the joke so much
that he was getting through it.
And he gets there, and it's like, it's worth it.
And so the moth, the doctor says,
moth, man, you're troubled.
But you should be seeing a psychiatrist.
Why on earth did you come here?
And then the moth said,
because the light was on.
The ability to do that and to not panic and to not bail out
and to commit to it and go,
this is what I'm doing and that's it.
I found, as I was looking at clips,
it seemed like his three favorite topics on Weekend Update
were OJ, obviously Frank Stallone,
and Vince Foster,
and making jokes about Clinton murdering Vince Foster.
But again, veteran news anchorman David Brinkley
apologized to Bill Clinton for an election night commentary
in which he called the president, quote,
boring and uncreative.
Admitted Brinkley,
there was certainly nothing uncreative
about the way you moved Vince Foster's body.
President's a murderer.
You didn't know that?
Here's another OJ joke from Weekend Update.
In his book, OJ Simpson says
that he would have taken a bullet
or stood in front of a train for Nicole.
Man, I'm going to tell you,
that is some bad luck
when the one guy who would have died for you
kills you.
That's right.
Relentless.
Just, yeah, it really is.
The beauty of Norm is there is nothing underlying.
It's just about the joke.
It's just about being funny.
You know, that's it.
What's the funniest thing for this moment?
Yep.
This is what it is.
He hated what was going on in comedy
as far as people being punished.
I mean, he really hated it.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, I mean,
that's the one time
that he actually started to get in trouble
was because he was defending Louis
and he was defending Roseanne.
And Shane.
And he defended Shane.
Yep, big time defender of Shane.
Because he got it.
Because he's like,
we're telling jokes here.
What are we doing?
Yeah.
Yeah, he was really serious about that.
Yeah, it's terrible.
Just terrible.
He spent a lot of time being funny, though.
Oh, fucking hilarious.
He put a lot of funny out there.
Yeah.
And I don't think there's anybody
with a similar delivery or a similar,
like, it's completely unique.
He's a completely unique thinker
and just a completely unique joke teller,
joke writer.
If you try to do a Norm joke,
it's like, that's like, no, that's,
it's not funny when anybody else does it.
And it's because they're not,
I mean, he's a genius.
It's natural.
Yes.
It's completely natural.
It's completely,
you don't watch it for a second thinking,
this is not who this guy is.
Yeah.
Like, you watch it and go,
this is completely natural
for him to tell a joke this way
or to talk this way.
That's why he could end the joke
when he wanted to
because he seemed so comfortable
and natural that,
all right, whenever he says
it's done, it's done.
You were with him for the,
you were on the dais
for the Bob Saget roast
of Comedy Central.
Yep.
And that's one of those instances
where, of course,
it's like, oh,
I can't wait.
Norm's going to be so outrageous.
Norm's just going to say stuff
that you could never say on TV.
And then he gets up there
and he just does.
All old man jokes.
No, but Bob has a beautiful face
like a flower.
Yeah, cauliflower.
No offense, but your face
looks like a cauliflower.
Yeah, I believe his joke about you
was that you're a very colorful person
because you have a yellow belly
and you're green with envy.
And that was it.
Like, there was no follow.
It's like, that's the joke.
And Jim Norton of here
is, of course,
probably the one most colorful characters
I've ever met.
Colorful personalities I know.
You're green with envy
and you have a yellow streak
down your back.
One of his jokes
about Giraldo was like,
I'd love to have Giraldo's brain
not because he's smart
but because it's very unused.
Like, thanks.
But if I ever need
a brain transplant,
well, I would choose yours, Greg.
And here's why.
It's not because you're smart.
It's because
your brain has never been used.
No, but Greg Corraldo,
I'm just joking him.
He has the grace of a swan,
the wisdom of an owl,
and the eye of an eagle.
Ladies and gentlemen,
this man is for the birds.
Man's for the birds.
Tell,
I think I was sitting there
like all day yesterday
telling, like,
just stopping,
Jess is like taking care of the kids.
And I'm like,
Jess, there's another Norm joke.
There's because I'm looking at YouTube.
And I'm like,
all right, Jess,
this was another one of Norm's jokes.
This is from Weekend Update
like in the 90s.
All summer,
Better Than Ezra
was the number one band
in America.
The number two band,
Ezra.
And in music news,
number one on the college charts
this summer
was Better Than Ezra.
And at number two,
Ezra.
according to a controversial
new biography,
Elizabeth Taylor,
like...
You see,
a bunch of clips
were going around.
You see the clip of him
on The View
from like,
really early on.
It was from like 2000.
It was when the
The View was
at its early stages.
No.
I don't think so.
It's fucking great.
I think I tweeted it,
Travis,
if that's the quickest way,
I don't know,
to find just the clip.
Yeah,
that's it.
See,
I think we should get
the homicide
out of the White House
and get like a fresh start
because we don't want
any more murderers.
I think we should just
go on to the next question.
Who are the murderers?
Oh, Clinton,
he murdered a guy.
You're not allowed
to put out
more accusations
without...
That's a little too far.
That's the way
it doesn't work.
Let's just go on
to the next question.
This is not my week.
What can I tell you?
Oh, it's not mine either.
I'm being very nice, okay?
Be a good boy.
Now, Norm...
Do you never hear that?
No.
We don't need
to talk about that.
I don't want to get into this
and I don't want to hear it
and this is not the place
to make those accusations
and you're supposed
to be funny.
Let's get on.
There you go.
See right there?
No, he's not angry about it.
He doesn't...
What great instincts, man.
Not mad.
He's just having a great time.
He always looked
like he was having
a great time.
He's almost too dumb
to realize,
what did I say?
I thought we were all...
Just having fun.
What?
You didn't know?
He's like,
you didn't hear that?
And the wind finally
dies down and he goes,
what?
You didn't hear that?
Listen to how
he follows it up.
This is a live show.
Why?
But you have been
properly chastised
by Barbara.
So I'm now going
to ask the next question.
I thought it was
a matter of record.
Let me do this.
There are people
that after they got
invited to the White House
Correspondents' Dinner,
they'd be like,
oh, okay,
maybe I can get in
with the Clintons now.
Maybe I can meet
these powerful friends.
Maybe I can...
Two and a half years
after the Correspondents' Dinner,
he's going on The View
and making jokes.
Clinton murdered someone.
He murdered a guy!
I didn't care.
I thought it was
a matter of record.
He thought
Barbara's problem
was that Barbara
hadn't...
Yeah.
You didn't hear?
You didn't know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That she was ignorant
and he was just
bringing her up to speed.
Just informing her.
Did you see the clip
that was going around
of him on Conan O'Brien
with Courtney Thorne-Smith?
I don't know.
This, I feel like...
This Courtney Thorne-Smith clip
is somewhat similar
to the Patrice Fox News clip.
This is just what she has to say.
We are outraged
and fired
and fired
and fired.
Name-calling.
I'm outraged.
I am outraged.
You should be.
I am a fool.
Now, if I called you a fool...
In the sense that this just
has become one of those
legendary, like...
This is the example
of why you would have this guy
on your talk show
and why he doesn't...
He doesn't care.
Courtney Thorne-Smith
is on Conan O'Brien
with Norm.
Norm was the first guest.
And he, unfortunately for her...
Decided to stick around.
He stuck around on the couch
for her interview, yes.
And she's trying to promote
her movie.
Who is she?
But, uh, what's the movie
going to be called?
Really?
I know what it's going to be called.
Yeah, what's that?
If it's got carrot top in it,
you know what a good name
for it would be?
What's that, Norm?
Box office poison.
There's this movie coming out.
Yes.
Title undetermined at this point.
Chairman of the board.
Oh.
All right.
Do something with that,
you freak.
I bet the board is spelled
B-O-R-E-D.
His face after he does it.
Dude, he's delighted.
Again, just perfect timing.
Yeah.
That's the other thing
you don't want to do, right?
Just, like, just say Norm jokes.
Right.
You know what I mean?
You want to, like, yeah.
Although they are,
it's funny,
he's one of those guys
where just saying his jok