Name: Norm MacDonald's Acid Trip
Uploaded: 2022-12-03T05:39:41.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm MacDonald's Acid Trip' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-12-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm MacDonald's Acid Trip' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-12-03. Transcript available.

where you've never had an acid flashback no i've never had no i never took acid
that was just a
joke i never took lsd took it one time what happened i was at a paul mccartney
concert
yeah in dallas because you know paul mccartney just that says acid when you
hear paul mccartney
music songs like let them in and i uh and i and i somebody i was on a bus with
the listeners
and this woman walked up to me she goes stick out your tongue and i went like
this
and she put a tab of she put this piece of paper on my tongue and i didn't know
anything was going
on and then did she tell you no yeah she right right she put it right she put
it on my tongue
you're going you're going you just took acid and then later in the tunnel of texas
stadium there
was a woman holding a box of starbursts and i also had a box of starbursts and
something in my head
told me that those must also be my starbursts so i went up to a strange woman
and said those are my
starbursts wow uh like a crazy person and then it lasted until like five o'clock
in the morning
wall paper was running down i had to call my i'll be honest with you i did it
one time well why'd you
lie well because i don't know what people think i did lsd but i did it one time
and and so i laid
down on i was laid down on my bed i was just a young boy and i looked up and
there was a hanging plant for
some reason in my room no there was and in the plants in the plant came the
face of jesus you know the
countenance of our lord and savior jesus the pale nazarene suddenly showed up
in my hanging plants
so i was like oh man i was like well i'm on lsd this must be like a just a
crazy trick of my eye an
optical you know thing and then i thought wait a minute what if it's just a
coincidence that i'm on
lsd and jesus is showing up that would be bad luck for me you know what i mean
i get absolute proof he
exists and then i ignore it thinking it was the acid effects of the acid so
then i'm in a quandary
i'm stuck in a quandary i don't know if you guys have ever been stuck in a
quandary not while i'm on
acid so uh anyways my quandary uh was uh it fixed itself because uh suddenly
the face of jesus morphed
into the face of trapper john md you know that guy yeah oh yeah so i was like
oh that's cool which
one though the one from mass yeah you must have seen it this morning i don't
think you've ever seen
mash where they go hey trapper john md that's true that's true you're right
that's uh that must have
freaked you out when our sports guy came in because he's got that white bearded
look oh yeah he looks
like trapper john md there was your flashback it's too weird when they have the
character changes like
it's trey you know it's wayne roger that's another guy and you're like what he
looks different like
i remember one time as a little kid on bewitched suddenly darren looked all
different you know because
he was a different actor right but i was just a little kid they were both named
dick so i was like
yeah york and sergeant so i was like dick york and dick sergeant but as a child
you see i didn't know
anything about dick york or dick sergeant or elizabeth montgomery i thought of
darren stevens
and his wife elizabeth stevens or whatever her name was sam stevens samantha
stevens so uh... so
anyways when uh... i didn't know dick york or dick sergeant only was darren stevens
so when he
suddenly changed appearance drastically yeah i thought what's that in dora up
to this time
i don't know what's that in dora you know she was in citizen kane yes she was
yeah she was in citizen
kane she always played you and what about when you get cast it's tough when you
get cast as an old bag
yeah and like you know you know when you're reading the script or it's even
even says old bag shows up
what's this is my but uh... like they had to show jake and the fat man yeah so
who was william conrad
william conrad william conrad bill conrad con and beautiful man right here
great actor he was a
he was a canon he was a big star big quinn martin star and uh so he uh you know
he was not a man to be
trifled with so if you're writing a script for somebody to be with and you know
you go i would
like to uh... maybe a william conrad vehicle might propel me yeah you might not
want to write you
know you might not want to title it jake and the fat man and then send it to
william conrad because
william conrad is like what the i'm pretty sure i'm not jake and if i'm jake i
don't want to be on the
show at all because that's really gross but uh... the way your mind or mcdonald
tonight at cap city
and tomorrow night and all these observations and more six seven two three
three three thanks for
being here dude thanks a lot listen uh god bless in the name of the pale nazarene
what and uh hey what
about this man you know you're like the energizer buddy this lady told me this
thing as a you know
if you're a christian you're kind of uh reviled nowadays in today's society you
know what i mean
you look down as a joke kind of bill maher makes funny but uh but let's say you're
a lady and you
believe in astrology right then suddenly everything's fine nobody thinks you're
an idiot
paradise with your body i don't want to share we're making dynamite explosive
love intentions
building in the end drugs don't do them used to when i was a boy young i'd do
anything you know
lsd i was about the strongest drug i ever did acid i don't know you ever done
acid but i remember
when i was young and they'd tell me they go you got to be careful with that
acid on account that you can
do it and then you have a flashback like 10 years could pass 20 years could
pass and then
you get a flashback so i thought well that sounds like a good deal you know and
i went to my drug dealer frank i said frank is there a drug on the market where
i pay you five dollars
i take the drug i get high and then 20 years later i get high again
he said yes and i think of myself as somebody as good at stretching his drug
dollar
but the point of the whole thing is for me to tell you young folk that it's not
it's not true at all
you know because i have not done lsd since i was a teenager 10 years have
passed 20 years have passed
sadly 30 years have passed and still no flat what a jip that turned out to be i
just more horseshit by the big acid companies if you ask me i don't want to i
don't want to get too
political but if you think big acid cares about you the little guy
they care about their third quarter profits that's what they care about
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