Name: Polish Jokes
Uploaded: 2023-02-18T00:24:35.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Polish Jokes' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Polish Jokes' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-02-18. Transcript available.

"How many Polish guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
The question cannot be answered because Polish people are so fucking stupid
that no matter how many of them are available,
none of them would ever be able to complete that simple task.
This is a meta-joke.
You're aware of these meta-jokes?
How many comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How many?
Two. One to do it and the other guy to go, "How long has he been up there?"
I like that.
On stage.
Yeah, because they were like, "How long?"
Yeah, that's a good idea.
I was going to say that the Polish government
did actually try to land on the sun back in the night.
No, no, they didn't.
Yes, and they were ridiculed for it because they said,
they said, you know, you'll burn up when you come anywhere near.
They said, "We're going at night."
Who? Who?
Oh.
You know, I've never asked you this before,
and we've been good friends for many years.
Ah.
Okay, I made that up, but...
No.
We haven't?
No, no, we're friends.
We're good friends, but I don't know what your...
McDonald, is that Irish?
Is that Scottish?
What's your ethnic background?
My ethnic background is Polish.
Are you really Polish?
Wow.
I didn't realize that.
Yeah.
McDonald, you don't...
Well, my parents changed their names.
Right.
They had to because of the constant ribbing they'd get for being Polish, you
know?
Mm-hmm.
And so they changed their name to McDonald, but...
You know, it's one of the things that you're gonna, you know...
I mean, I get a little upset about it, you know?
Because, you know, you can't...
All the Polish jokes and stuff.
Yeah, you can't make jokes about other people,
but for some reason you can make jokes about Polish people, you know?
Right, right.
I don't like it.
Right.
You shouldn't.
That sounds bad, yeah.
I mean, I had an experience, you know?
I go in and I order a Polish sausage, you know, from this guy, you know?
And so the guy says to me, "Oh, oh, you must be Polish."
And I said, "Come on, man.
I mean, come on.
Think about it, what you're saying, you know?
I'm trying to knock some sense into this fellow's head.
Maybe give him a wider world view, you know?"
Sure, yeah, yeah.
I said, "You think because I order a Polish sausage, I'm Polish."
I said, "What if somebody came in here and ordered French toast?
Would you think he was French, you know?"
Right.
I said, "What if somebody came in here and ordered a Belgian waffle?
Would you consider that guy a Belgian?"
You know?
I mean, if a guy came in and ordered a German bratwurst,
would you consider that fellow to be a German fella?
Right, right.
I said, "What if a guy came in and ordered a German potato salad?
I suppose you'd think he was German, too."
Yeah?
Yeah, yeah.
I said, "What if a guy..."
Wow, you talked to this guy for a while.
I'm telling you, man.
With racists, you have to get through to them.
You have to really get it into their head.
Right.
I said, "If a guy came in and ordered a Cuban hamburger, are you going to
assume he's a Cuban?"
Right, right, right.
I said, "I think it is absolutely ridiculous that just because I come in and I
order a Polish sausage, why would you jump to the fact that I'm Polish?"
Right.
And the guy says to me, "Well, first of all, it's a hardware store."
And you hate Polish jokes, don't you? You just hate them.
No, I think they're disgusting.
I'm scared of letting go. Go, go. I'm scared of letting go. Go, go. I'm scared
of letting go. Go, go. I'm scared of letting go. Go, go. I'm scared of letting
go of everything in the past.