Name: Most Fearless Weekend Update Host
Uploaded: 2023-03-01T22:00:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Most Fearless Weekend Update Host' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Most Fearless Weekend Update Host' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-01. Transcript available.

so it wasn't a studio crowd-pleasing effect it was never aimed at the studio
audience you know it was always aimed just directly at me I just would what I
knew was funny last week on Larry King live Marlon Brando made the shocking
statement that Hollywood is quote run by Jews in response outraged Jewish
organizations made it snow in New York in April Native Americans in upstate New
York are trying to block plans to build a Kmart on the site of a Mohican burial
ground in addition they were upset to learn that sales at this particular
Kmart will be announced attention Kmart savages
three years ago an 11 year old British schoolgirl put a message in a bottle
and tossed it into the Atlantic Ocean well this week she was astounded to
receive
a reply from halfway around the world sadly the reply read you're 11 what are
you
wearing while in the hospital Michael Jackson had his room specially decorated
with two huge photos of Shirley Temple but don't get the wrong idea here
Michael
Michael Jackson is a homosexual pedophile
in Fall City Nebraska John Lotter has been sentenced to death for attempting to
kill
three people in what prosecutors called a plot to silence a cross-dressing
female who
had accused him of rape now this might strike some viewers as harsh but I
believe
everyone involved in this story should die Brooklyn man crossing an expressway
on
Monday was hit by at least 10 cars according to police the man's body was
spread over a two-block area
police also reported that various organs were flattened on the road and that
his spine had been ripped out of his torso
the man is currently resting in stable condition at St. Mary's Hospital
Frank Sinatra turned 80 this week
Frank Sinatra
and although the singer is said to be suffering from Alzheimer's he had a
typically festive birthday
singer singing a duet with a hooker and having sex with Tony Bennett
probably gonna end up in Jersey with a meat hook up my ass but it was a good
joke
here we see the president and the first bitch
hey hey slow down you bitch let me catch up
in whitewater news federal regulators quizzed Hillary Clinton at the white
house this week and gave her a
perfect score on the lying section she's a dirty liar admitted brinkley there
was certainly nothing
uncreative about the way you moved vince foster's body
president's a murder you didn't know that
thanks i'm norm mcdonald and now the fake news well it is finally official
murder is legal in the state of california
it's not a murder you don't know that
a down-and-out O.J. Simpson depressed that all of his money-making ideas have
failed
has decided to go back to doing what he does best killing people
O.J. Simpson was in a different courtroom this week attempting to regain
custody of his two children
in order to prove to the court how much he loves his kids O.J. pointed out
quote
hey they're still alive aren't they
women would be more likely to vote if they could send in ballots by mail
or if polls were open longer also more women would vote if you were permitted
to bake your vote
they like to bake
in milwaukee wisconsin a man allowed his eight-year-old daughter to take the
wheel of his car
and an accident ensued that damaged seven other cars and injured six people
which once again proves my theory
women can't drive
please note that the percentage of these pie graphs
do not add up to 100 percent because the math was done by a woman
for those of you hissing at that joke it should be noted that that joke was
written by a woman
so no i'm just kidding we don't hire women