Name: Jokes You Couldn't Tell Today Part 4
Uploaded: 2023-03-05T16:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jokes You Couldn't Tell Today Part 4' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Jokes You Couldn't Tell Today Part 4' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-05. Transcript available.

You've got to look into the future.
It's like the word, it's like the word "retard."
Well, hey, don't get me started.
That's the word right now, because I think people have stopped saying "gay"
meaning "lame."
Yeah.
The more involved.
However, the word "retard" is still, I think...
Before you argue that they should stop saying "retarded," I like to ask two
questions.
I go, "Number one, because you have to find out about their past."
And if they answer these questions differently, I give them the different
speech.
I go, "Do you think Jew me down?
Do you think we stopped it because we shouldn't have had to, but people are so
PC?"
And if they went, "No, that's horrible."
What did they say when you, "Hey, stop with that joint there, you're getting
spit out."
So, no, hold on a second.
So most people would say that we stopped those things because it was egregious.
Yes.
I know what I'm saying.
You know, I know.
I'm trying to give you another example.
So if the answer is no to those things, like we stopped them because they were
bad, then
why do you fucking think that retarded is going to stand the test of time?
I don't get why...
Just look into the past.
You're all dressed up.
Yeah, they told me to dress up for Comedy Week.
Explain to the folks what Comedy Week is.
Um...
Um...
You fucking retard.
No, no.
Can you explain?
Not really.
Two 23-year-old women in China this week have set a record, living 12 days in a
room with
888 deadly snakes.
They now hold a place, a coveted place, in the Guinness Book of World Retards.
20th Century Fox has announced that Macaulay Culkin will not be hired to star
in Home Alone
3.
Studio spokesman said that it was nothing personal, but with Culkin now 16
years of age, the only
way to keep him in the film would be to make the character retarded.
In an effort to feel smarter than somebody, Dan Quayle this week spoke to 4,000
Amway employees.
Dismissed Simpson juror Jeanette Harris revealed in interviews this week that
the jury is torn
by dissension and is already divided into two camps.
Those who think he is guilty and those who are really, really stupid.
In a recent interview, Christie Brinkley suggested that football players should
have special gloves
connected to lights on their helmets.
That way, when they catch the ball, you'll know who has possession.
Read these and other interesting ideas in Christie's new book, "I'm an Idiot."
New York Governor George Pataki this week announced a plan to cut state
scholarship aid
to college students who do not maintain at least a C average.
Sadly, the students hurt most by these.
Cuts will be the idiots.
According to published reports, MTV News anchor Tabitha Soren has been romantically
linked
with journalist Michael Lewis.
Soren denies the reports, claiming she doesn't have time for a boyfriend
because she's too busy pretending not to be stupid.
And finally, the Oscar nominations were announced this week, and Tom Hanks and
Jodie Foster
are in a heated competition in the Academy's controversial new category, Best
Retard.
Best Retard.
"I lived in LA.
I lived on the actual street called Melrose Place.
There's an actual street."
"There's a Melrose?
Is there really a Melrose Place?"
"There's really a Melrose Place."
"There's a Melrose Place."
"Okay, alright."
"You know this, right?"
"Yes, it's true."
"So, they opened a restaurant called Melrose Place on it."
"Uh-huh."
"And then it's right beside my house, and every time I go out, there's all
these retards,
like tourists."
"And then these tourist retards, like they're always fat and they're taking
pictures."
"Stand in front of this restaurant."
"Uh-huh, yeah."
"Yeah."