Name: Norm MacDonald Roasting Andy Richter for 16 minutes
Uploaded: 2023-05-15T22:13:41.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm MacDonald Roasting Andy Richter for 16 minutes' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm MacDonald Roasting Andy Richter for 16 minutes' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-15. Transcript available.

Interesting story I say this week is that on Rikers Island, they have banned,
like two months ago, they banned pornography, any porno magazines from the
prison, you know, because I don't know why they did it, but now I just read the
headlines.
Sure, you don't need to know that part, right. Who cares about that part, right.
But now they had to bring it back this week, so they had a compromise. They
were allowing one porno magazine.
Only one, huh?
Only one. Unfortunately, the porno magazine that they're putting in is Hairy
Guy's Ass Illustrated.
Really? Well, if you're going to only allow one, I would think that's the one,
you know, probably.
It's a good magazine, though.
It is a good, you know.
It's not all just pictures of Hairy Guy's Ass.
The articles are good, actually. Good articles on if you're buying a home, what
home to buy. Good areas to look.
Yeah, good stereo advice. That's what I read it.
Yeah, yeah. Killer crossword puzzle. It's just a good publication. All right.
See, I just read it for Hairy Guy's Ass.
Well, see, that's you, Andy. Just people are all different.
He was coming for the show. The last week, he went to the Hairy Guy's Ass
Mansion.
That would be great.
Why didn't you... Andy has all the fun. He gets to all the big celebrity
parties.
All right.
Him and Jimmy Conn.
All right.
So, you think Dole is what?
I don't know.
You don't care anymore.
I do like that he picked Kemp. I like Kemp.
Oh, yeah?
He had a strange thing. Did you hear that quote he said?
He said he's closer to minorities than the other candidates because he says he's
showered with a lot of black guys.
Did you hear that?
What?
He says because he used to be on the Buffalo Bill.
That's right. He was a football player. Is that true? He said that?
Yeah. He said that the other day. He said he has a closer feel for the
minorities because he's showered with so many black guys.
But, you know, I don't know if that's...
Well, how do you want to pick your president, right?
Is that he's showered with a lot of black guys?
I don't know.
I mean...
You're picking Dole because he can do an impression.
Yeah, right.
You know?
Your reasons aren't much better.
If I was going to pick a guy just because he's showered with a lot of black
guys, I'd pick Andy or somebody like that.
Yeah, you know?
People don't have to know that.
No. He used to play ball. He used to play college ball.
Sure, he was. He was in every branch of the armed forces.
Do you have a hero?
Norman Fowler from Three's Company.
That's your hero?
Yeah.
Mr. Roper.
Yeah.
Mr. Roper?
Yeah.
That's not a good hero.
That's all I got.
Better than this guy's hero is some gay porn actor.
Anyway.
What are you talking?
What?
I don't know.
What are you saying?
Let me tell you something about gay porn.
Seriously.
It's fun.
That was a lot of fun.
Okay.
No, I'll tell you something about gay porn.
Seriously.
Okay.
That doesn't mean a guy's gay.
I'm not saying that.
Because a guy watches gay porn all the time?
It's cut to a single.
Just of norm.
Really?
Gay porn.
Gay porn is a genre that just cuts across all demographics.
You know?
Young people, old people, straight people, the gay people enjoy it.
Everybody likes gay porn.
But this guy really likes it.
No, I don't know.
I thought I heard patriotic music playing behind that speech.
No.
That's not what I meant to say.
I meant to talk about Bob Dole.
This guy's my hero.
This guy ruined my reputation, you know?
Just in passing.
This guy is not gay.
If anybody's not gay, it's this guy.
Oh, I'm so...
Seriously.
I am so totally straight.
Oh, yeah.
No, you are.
Oh, I love the ladies.
No, he does.
No, he likes girls.
He likes girls.
Does this happen every time you try and talk about Bob Dole?
You start talking about gay porn.
I know.
I don't know what that was.
But listen.
Bob Dole?
I love this guy.
He's my hero.
He's always been my hero for like the last 18 years.
Yeah.
Since I was very young.
And I always liked Bob Dole.
And so it was a very...
It was an honor to...
Now it sounds weird because I was talking about gay porn.
I don't...
I'm questioning your ability to continue here.
Before I start with my jokes,
I just want to say, like,
I said a thing on the last show about Andy
enjoying gay porn.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I remember you saying that.
Yeah.
And I thought later,
that was just a stupid thing to do.
Well, I guess it was all forgotten
until you just brought it up.
So, he doesn't like gay porn, you know?
He doesn't like gay porn.
So, anyway.
I can't stand gay porn.
Right.
Gay porn, no thanks.
So, if you're getting me a birthday present,
no gay porn.
You know, that's great
because it really cleared the air.
I understand you Lent,
you take Lent pretty seriously,
the Catholic holiday of Lent.
Is that the case?
Well, you have to give up stuff on Lent.
So, every year on Lent,
I give up stuff.
And I made up a list, you know?
Oh, really?
Of stuff that I gave up.
So, I have it here in my pocket.
Can I read it?
I would love to hear
what Norm gave up for Lent.
Yeah.
Why not?
I don't have it in my pocket.
You don't have it?
Oh, here it is.
It's in this pocket.
Okay.
Yes, this is a list
of things that I gave up for Lent.
Okay, you ready?
I gave up power lifting.
All right.
Ouch.
Yeah, I didn't want to do that anymore.
And then I gave up
lifting of any kind.
Okay.
That's good.
And then I gave up
dressing up like an incubus
now that people know what it is,
you know?
Not going to do that.
No.
And then I gave up
this isn't a good one.
I gave up feeding my cat.
You've got to break that habit.
Yeah, that's not good.
Lent's a good time to do that.
Oh, and then I gave up
spending thousands of dollars
trying to methodically
seduce Andy's wife.
No more of that, huh?
All right, that's very nice.
Good for you.
What a relief.
Plus, he gets in the idea
that Andy has a wife.
Andy has a wife.
Yeah, he does.
I know.
I have a wife.
I know, I know.
He has a great wife.
I don't like you.
No, he has an excellent wife.
Don't like it.
Well, okay.
What we're going to do
is we're going to take
a quick break
and then we're all going to
confer with our lawyers.
And then we're going to come back
and we'll have more
with Norm MacDonald
in just a second.
All right, we're back, everybody.
Stop comparing notes
on gay porn, all right?
No.
We were actually talking
about the Sports Illustrated,
the swimsuit issue.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You guys like that issue.
No, I love it.
Andy said it's his least favorite
Sports Illustrated.
Oh, shut up.
He says he can't.
Oh, never mind.
I didn't want to say something.
Andy, you don't,
it's like quicksand.
If you struggle,
it gets worse.
I know, I know.
You just got to sit very still
and it'll go away.
Say something bad.
You're in Los Angeles now,
okay, and you're doing this show.
Do you like the L.A.?
You like it there?
No, I don't like it that much.
No.
Why?
Why don't you like it there?
It's beautiful and, you know,
I think you'd, you know?
Well, it's hot, you know?
It's really hot.
And is that what you're getting to?
I don't know.
I thought you had a story
about being in L.A.
Do you want to talk
about midgets some more?
Just listen to the story
in my hand.
You said you were carrying
bags of groceries?
Yes, exactly.
That's the story.
But it started off
with it's hot.
It was hot in L.A.
And this is a bad, lame story.
Okay, so let me get this right.
You can't remember it.
We just revealed
that we talked about it
in the hallway beforehand.
And now you're telling people
it sucks.
You want to go for it?
Yeah, I'll do it.
No.
Yeah, it sucks.
No, I don't.
No, it's not bad.
I want to see him do it now.
You've set up a lot.
You're going to make me cry.
I believe this is all spontaneous.
Sorry, Junior.
You don't like L.A.
because it's hot.
I was talking to Andy
before the show.
And apparently
I made a mistake
one time in the show
where I intimated
that maybe Andy
was into gay porno.
You remember that?
I didn't,
but now I do.
Which he was not.
Which he was not into
and I never meant
to intimate
that he was gay
in any way.
Right.
Just that he had
an obsession
with watching gay porno.
Okay.
There is a difference.
Of course.
Everybody loves gay porno.
Right, right.
What's not to like?
So anyway.
Lie, gay?
Fall.
So I said,
so I said,
I'm sorry.
He said,
you know,
I said,
I'm sorry about that.
Right, right.
And I said,
I would never mention again
his alleged obsession
with gay porno.
Right.
And I won't.
But anyway.
We're going to run that
on a loop.
Play it over and over again.
Yeah, he's got a wife.
Yeah, I know.
What are you talking about?
I know that.
Have you ever met her?
Yes.
Okay, good.
What are you talking about?
Yes, she does exist.
She does exist.
That's what I'm trying
to tell the people.
I don't want them to think
that Andy's into gay.
And there's nothing wrong
with being gay.
Unless you're not gay.
And then there's something
horribly wrong with it.
That's when it goes awry?
Yeah, that's when
it's the worst thing
you could be is gay
when you're not gay.
Right.
Hey, I'm going to miss Andy
on this show, man.
Oh, yeah.
He's got to leave, huh?
How bad is that, huh?
You should stay.
You want to stay.
Ah, you should stay.
Good move.
You should stay.
Get him booing.
Yeah, you just killed
everyone's joy tonight.
No, I swear to God, though,
you sit on a couch
for the living.
You should think
about not giving that up.
That's a great job.
That's a great job.
You sit on a couch.
Yeah.
And you sit on a chair.
It got to be
too much, though.
I'm looking to lay down.
I've got to tone it down a bit.
But you're a great man
and I'm going to miss you
on the show, man.
You're a great man, isn't he?
Thank you.
Great man.
Maybe he'll change his mind.
Maybe.
I keep asking him.
Yeah.
He's like, nope.
Maybe if the internet
they start, like,
writing, save Andy,
you know what I mean?
Let's not save him
because he's losing.
It's a good choice.
Yeah.
That's the hard thing.
Straight to the heart.
I've been a long time
acting like I was a pro.
Can I part by you?
He's good, man.
That's a can-do norm.
You came charging out like that.
Yeah, because, Peter,
look at this audience,
man.
They don't care about that.
Why?
They're like jokes.
They got flags.
They got flags.
Yeah, they got flags
and they're scoring you.
You've got three nines
and an eight so far.
Where are you guys from, man?
Oh, Sweden.
That's Sweden?
Yeah.
God bless you, man.
Everything's good about,
you know,
you're an Irishman.
Me mother, she was orange.
Me father, he was green.
It was the biggest mix-up
that you have ever seen.
I'm Scottish.
I'm a Scot.
You're Irish.
Yes.
What are you?
Swedish-German.
Swedish-German.
Are you really?
Yeah, yeah, really.
Why would I lie about that?
It's not funny.
No, it's very odd.
It's a very strange lie.
I'd put one over
on those people.
Swedish-German.
No, I'll tell you
why it's funny, man.
Because I was in Georgia,
Atlanta, Georgia.
Yeah.
I met a good old boy
down there.
And he said,
have you ever,
he said,
you know Andy Richter?
Yeah.
Yeah, he did?
Yeah.
You met a guy in Georgia
and he said,
you know Andy Richter?
Oh, yeah.
You guys do well there.
Oh.
And he said,
I said, yeah.
He said,
have you ever heard
an Andy Richter joke?
I said, no.
He said,
well, most of it's based
on him being
Swedish-German.
And then he told me
an Andy Richter joke.
Really?
But I didn't know
a Swedish-German.
I thought it was all nonsense.
Yeah, well,
now this lines up perfectly.
Let me ask you something,
because it sort of relates
to the first...
Wait,
don't you want to hear the joke?
No.
All right.
Oh,
you're down to six.
You're down to six.
All right,
this joke will get you back up.
Yeah, you can get him back.
Let's hear the joke.
Well, the fellow says,
he says,
man,
he says,
you ever heard a time
about the old prospector?
That's how he taught you,
you know?
Yeah.
He says,
he says,
man,
there was an old prospector
and he was prospecting
for gold
and he was having
a hell of a time
getting into gold.
It was an empty stake,
I believe.
And he said,
he'd come into town.
He'd been,
he'd been in the mine
for a good eight months.
He said,
by God,
he said,
I'm only,
I'm only flesh of blood.
Sure.
And I need,
I need a woman,
you know?
And so he goes into town.
He goes up to the bartender.
He says,
bartender,
he says,
man,
I've been in that mine
for a hell of a long time
and I'm only flesh and blood.
I need a woman.
Well,
the bartender says,
hell,
there ain't no women
in this town.
If you want to do
any of that business,
all we got is
Andy Richter,
the Swedish German.
the prospector,
he says,
no,
no.
He says,
hell,
I ain't into that funny stuff.
You know,
he says,
I'll be fine.
So he goes back to his state,
you know,
and he's back in that mine,
man.
And six months pass.
And a year passes.
And Conan,
you know,
people are weak.
Man is made of flesh and pride
as the scriptures tell us.
And by God,
that old prospector
finally broke to his knees
and he said,
I'm no worse than,
then he went back
to the bar.
He was a beaten man.
He says to the bartender,
he says,
hell,
man,
I've been in that place
two and a half years.
A man has needs.
And if you say
there's no women
in this here town,
he says,
well,
I'll have to go
for Andy Richter,
the Swedish German.
But he says,
listen now,
he says,
man,
I'm a tough old hombre,
you know,
and I got friends now.
He says,
I don't want anybody
to know about this.
You know,
this is the back
of the old days.
Sure,
yeah.
He says,
I can tell by the accent.
Yeah.
He says,
I got my cowpoke friends
and so forth.
I'd hate it.
Hell,
anybody know about this?
You know,
this got to be all secret.
Nobody.
I say,
nobody can know about this.
Bartender says,
well,
four people know about it.
How do you figure that?
He says,
well,
he says,
I'll know about it.
He says,
you'll know about it.
Andy Richter,
the Swedish German,
will know about it.
And the fellow
that has to hold down
Andy will know about it.
Why?
Why?
Because Andy Richter,
the Swedish German,
he don't go for that
funny business either.
Well,
at least you left me
my dignity.
I like the way
that story ended.
Yeah,
because you weren't good.
Yeah, right, right.
But that's not
beside the point.
You're a rape.
No,
it's more.
It's more
that I wasn't
prostituting myself.

Norm MacDonald Roasting Andy Richter for 16 minutes

Interesting story I say this week is that on Rikers Island, they have banned,
like two months ago, they banned pornography, any porno magazines from the
prison, you know, because I don't know why they did it, but now I just read the
headlines.
Sure, you don't need to know that part, right. Who cares about that part, right.
But now they had to bring it back this week, so they had a compromise. They
were allowing one porno magazine.
Only one, huh?
Only one. Unfortunately, the porno magazine that they're putting in is Hairy
Guy's Ass Illustrated.
Really? Well, if you're going to only allow one, I would think that's the one,
you know, probably.
It's a good magazine, though.
It is a good, you know.
It's not all just pictures of Hairy Guy's Ass.
The articles are good, actually. Good articles on if you're buying a home, what
home to buy. Good areas to look.
Yeah, good stereo advice. That's what I read it.
Yeah, yeah. Killer crossword puzzle. It's just a good publication. All right.
See, I just read it for Hairy Guy's Ass.
Well, see, that's you, Andy. Just people are all different.
He was coming for the show. The last week, he went to the Hairy Guy's Ass
Mansion.
That would be great.
Why didn't you... Andy has all the fun. He gets to all the big celebrity
parties.
All right.
Him and Jimmy Conn.
All right.
So, you think Dole is what?
I don't know.
You don't care anymore.
I do like that he picked Kemp. I like Kemp.
Oh, yeah?
He had a strange thing. Did you hear that quote he said?
He said he's closer to minorities than the other candidates because he says he's
showered with a lot of black guys.
Did you hear that?
What?
He says because he used to be on the Buffalo Bill.
That's right. He was a football player. Is that true? He said that?
Yeah. He said that the other day. He said he has a closer feel for the
minorities because he's showered with so many black guys.
But, you know, I don't know if that's...
Well, how do you want to pick your president, right?
Is that he's showered with a lot of black guys?
I don't know.
I mean...
You're picking Dole because he can do an impression.
Yeah, right.
You know?
Your reasons aren't much better.
If I was going to pick a guy just because he's showered with a lot of black
guys, I'd pick Andy or somebody like that.
Yeah, you know?
People don't have to know that.
No. He used to play ball. He used to play college ball.
Sure, he was. He was in every branch of the armed forces.
Do you have a hero?
Norman Fowler from Three's Company.
That's your hero?
Yeah.
Mr. Roper.
Yeah.
Mr. Roper?
Yeah.
That's not a good hero.
That's all I got.
Better than this guy's hero is some gay porn actor.
Anyway.
What are you talking?
What?
I don't know.
What are you saying?
Let me tell you something about gay porn.
Seriously.
It's fun.
That was a lot of fun.
Okay.
No, I'll tell you something about gay porn.
Seriously.
Okay.
That doesn't mean a guy's gay.
I'm not saying that.
Because a guy watches gay porn all the time?
It's cut to a single.
Just of norm.
Really?
Gay porn.
Gay porn is a genre that just cuts across all demographics.
You know?
Young people, old people, straight people, the gay people enjoy it.
Everybody likes gay porn.
But this guy really likes it.
No, I don't know.
I thought I heard patriotic music playing behind that speech.
No.
That's not what I meant to say.
I meant to talk about Bob Dole.
This guy's my hero.
This guy ruined my reputation, you know?
Just in passing.
This guy is not gay.
If anybody's not gay, it's this guy.
Oh, I'm so...
Seriously.
I am so totally straight.
Oh, yeah.
No, you are.
Oh, I love the ladies.
No, he does.
No, he likes girls.
He likes girls.
Does this happen every time you try and talk about Bob Dole?
You start talking about gay porn.
I know.
I don't know what that was.
But listen.
Bob Dole?
I love this guy.
He's my hero.
He's always been my hero for like the last 18 years.
Yeah.
Since I was very young.
And I always liked Bob Dole.
And so it was a very...
It was an honor to...
Now it sounds weird because I was talking about gay porn.
I don't...
I'm questioning your ability to continue here.
Before I start with my jokes,
I just want to say, like,
I said a thing on the last show about Andy
enjoying gay porn.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I remember you saying that.
Yeah.
And I thought later,
that was just a stupid thing to do.
Well, I guess it was all forgotten
until you just brought it up.
So, he doesn't like gay porn, you know?
He doesn't like gay porn.
So, anyway.
I can't stand gay porn.
Right.
Gay porn, no thanks.
So, if you're getting me a birthday present,
no gay porn.
You know, that's great
because it really cleared the air.
I understand you Lent,
you take Lent pretty seriously,
the Catholic holiday of Lent.
Is that the case?
Well, you have to give up stuff on Lent.
So, every year on Lent,
I give up stuff.
And I made up a list, you know?
Oh, really?
Of stuff that I gave up.
So, I have it here in my pocket.
Can I read it?
I would love to hear
what Norm gave up for Lent.
Yeah.
Why not?
I don't have it in my pocket.
You don't have it?
Oh, here it is.
It's in this pocket.
Okay.
Yes, this is a list
of things that I gave up for Lent.
Okay, you ready?
I gave up power lifting.
All right.
Ouch.
Yeah, I didn't want to do that anymore.
And then I gave up
lifting of any kind.
Okay.
That's good.
And then I gave up
dressing up like an incubus
now that people know what it is,
you know?
Not going to do that.
No.
And then I gave up
this isn't a good one.
I gave up feeding my cat.
You've got to break that habit.
Yeah, that's not good.
Lent's a good time to do that.
Oh, and then I gave up
spending thousands of dollars
trying to methodically
seduce Andy's wife.
No more of that, huh?
All right, that's very nice.
Good for you.
What a relief.
Plus, he gets in the idea
that Andy has a wife.
Andy has a wife.
Yeah, he does.
I know.
I have a wife.
I know, I know.
He has a great wife.
I don't like you.
No, he has an excellent wife.
Don't like it.
Well, okay.
What we're going to do
is we're going to take
a quick break
and then we're all going to
confer with our lawyers.
And then we're going to come back
and we'll have more
with Norm MacDonald
in just a second.
All right, we're back, everybody.
Stop comparing notes
on gay porn, all right?
No.
We were actually talking
about the Sports Illustrated,
the swimsuit issue.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
You guys like that issue.
No, I love it.
Andy said it's his least favorite
Sports Illustrated.
Oh, shut up.
He says he can't.
Oh, never mind.
I didn't want to say something.
Andy, you don't,
it's like quicksand.
If you struggle,
it gets worse.
I know, I know.
You just got to sit very still
and it'll go away.
Say something bad.
You're in Los Angeles now,
okay, and you're doing this show.
Do you like the L.A.?
You like it there?
No, I don't like it that much.
No.
Why?
Why don't you like it there?
It's beautiful and, you know,
I think you'd, you know?
Well, it's hot, you know?
It's really hot.
And is that what you're getting to?
I don't know.
I thought you had a story
about being in L.A.
Do you want to talk
about midgets some more?
Just listen to the story
in my hand.
You said you were carrying
bags of groceries?
Yes, exactly.
That's the story.
But it started off
with it's hot.
It was hot in L.A.
And this is a bad, lame story.
Okay, so let me get this right.
You can't remember it.
We just revealed
that we talked about it
in the hallway beforehand.
And now you're telling people
it sucks.
You want to go for it?
Yeah, I'll do it.
No.
Yeah, it sucks.
No, I don't.
No, it's not bad.
I want to see him do it now.
You've set up a lot.
You're going to make me cry.
I believe this is all spontaneous.
Sorry, Junior.
You don't like L.A.
because it's hot.
I was talking to Andy
before the show.
And apparently
I made a mistake
one time in the show
where I intimated
that maybe Andy
was into gay porno.
You remember that?
I didn't,
but now I do.
Which he was not.
Which he was not into
and I never meant
to intimate
that he was gay
in any way.
Right.
Just that he had
an obsession
with watching gay porno.
Okay.
There is a difference.
Of course.
Everybody loves gay porno.
Right, right.
What's not to like?
So anyway.
Lie, gay?
Fall.
So I said,
so I said,
I'm sorry.
He said,
you know,
I said,
I'm sorry about that.
Right, right.
And I said,
I would never mention again
his alleged obsession
with gay porno.
Right.
And I won't.
But anyway.
We're going to run that
on a loop.
Play it over and over again.
Yeah, he's got a wife.
Yeah, I know.
What are you talking about?
I know that.
Have you ever met her?
Yes.
Okay, good.
What are you talking about?
Yes, she does exist.
She does exist.
That's what I'm trying
to tell the people.
I don't want them to think
that Andy's into gay.
And there's nothing wrong
with being gay.
Unless you're not gay.
And then there's something
horribly wrong with it.
That's when it goes awry?
Yeah, that's when
it's the worst thing
you could be is gay
when you're not gay.
Right.
Hey, I'm going to miss Andy
on this show, man.
Oh, yeah.
He's got to leave, huh?
How bad is that, huh?
You should stay.
You want to stay.
Ah, you should stay.
Good move.
You should stay.
Get him booing.
Yeah, you just killed
everyone's joy tonight.
No, I swear to God, though,
you sit on a couch
for the living.
You should think
about not giving that up.
That's a great job.
That's a great job.
You sit on a couch.
Yeah.
And you sit on a chair.
It got to be
too much, though.
I'm looking to lay down.
I've got to tone it down a bit.
But you're a great man
and I'm going to miss you
on the show, man.
You're a great man, isn't he?
Thank you.
Great man.
Maybe he'll change his mind.
Maybe.
I keep asking him.
Yeah.
He's like, nope.
Maybe if the internet
they start, like,
writing, save Andy,
you know what I mean?
Let's not save him
because he's losing.
It's a good choice.
Yeah.
That's the hard thing.
Straight to the heart.
I've been a long time
acting like I was a pro.
Can I part by you?
He's good, man.
That's a can-do norm.
You came charging out like that.
Yeah, because, Peter,
look at this audience,
man.
They don't care about that.
Why?
They're like jokes.
They got flags.
They got flags.
Yeah, they got flags
and they're scoring you.
You've got three nines
and an eight so far.
Where are you guys from, man?
Oh, Sweden.
That's Sweden?
Yeah.
God bless you, man.
Everything's good about,
you know,
you're an Irishman.
Me mother, she was orange.
Me father, he was green.
It was the biggest mix-up
that you have ever seen.
I'm Scottish.
I'm a Scot.
You're Irish.
Yes.
What are you?
Swedish-German.
Swedish-German.
Are you really?
Yeah, yeah, really.
Why would I lie about that?
It's not funny.
No, it's very odd.
It's a very strange lie.
I'd put one over
on those people.
Swedish-German.
No, I'll tell you
why it's funny, man.
Because I was in Georgia,
Atlanta, Georgia.
Yeah.
I met a good old boy
down there.
And he said,
have you ever,
he said,
you know Andy Richter?
Yeah.
Yeah, he did?
Yeah.
You met a guy in Georgia
and he said,
you know Andy Richter?
Oh, yeah.
You guys do well there.
Oh.
And he said,
I said, yeah.
He said,
have you ever heard
an Andy Richter joke?
I said, no.
He said,
well, most of it's based
on him being
Swedish-German.
And then he told me
an Andy Richter joke.
Really?
But I didn't know
a Swedish-German.
I thought it was all nonsense.
Yeah, well,
now this lines up perfectly.
Let me ask you something,
because it sort of relates
to the first...
Wait,
don't you want to hear the joke?
No.
All right.
Oh,
you're down to six.
You're down to six.
All right,
this joke will get you back up.
Yeah, you can get him back.
Let's hear the joke.
Well, the fellow says,
he says,
man,
he says,
you ever heard a time
about the old prospector?
That's how he taught you,
you know?
Yeah.
He says,
he says,
man,
there was an old prospector
and he was prospecting
for gold
and he was having
a hell of a time
getting into gold.
It was an empty stake,
I believe.
And he said,
he'd come into town.
He'd been,
he'd b