Name: The R Word
Uploaded: 2023-06-01T16:14:41.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The R Word' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The R Word' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-01. Transcript available.

Are you currently in a relationship, or are you playing the field?
Oh, my God.
What the fuck? What are you, retarded?
No, are you really having a relationship?
Come on, come on, come on, man, serious.
Like, three weeks ago when we started, you were just a filthy bum.
Yeah.
And now these retards put your name in a fucking magazine.
You're all dressed up.
Yeah, they told me to dress up for Comedy Week.
Explain to the folks what Comedy Week is.
Um, um...
You fucking retard.
Now, can you explain?
Not really.
This is how I would like to see the election of the Pope.
The election of the Pope?
Yes, run it.
There's the crowd, now watch.
Watch.
All right, the door's gonna open.
And there's the...
Ah, that's the Pope.
Wait, that's not...
That's the Pope.
We should explain to the folks that that was Michael Jackson.
Let's explain, yeah, let's explain who Michael Jackson is to the people.
Nobody knows Michael Jackson.
What are you, retarded?
His opponent was this, uh, this rich kid, you know.
This, this Adam Scott fellow from Australia.
Oh, from Step Brothers?
No, not the actor Adam Scott.
The professional golfer Adam Scott.
What are you, retarded?
So he...
I know you're not retarded.
But...
What are you, down syndrome?
Ah!
Dance like no one is watching.
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt.
And fuck like a goddamn retard.
I saw the word retard.
Well, how about this?
College freshman Scott Damero, Larry, set a new world record by using his head
to bust
142 eggs, and he now officially holds a place in the Guinness Book of Fucking
Retards.
The parents of Honey Boo Boo are getting married this week.
I don't know what any of that means, but it sounds fucking retarded.
That's a good one.
I think my doctor might be retarded.
Why?
His name is Dr. Retardo.
Oh!
There's a good chance.
Jenny McCarthy recently got engaged to former new kid on the block, Donnie Wahlberg.
They plan to marry on retard island.
Now why couldn't I have gotten this one?
What?
You throwing me under the bus on the next one again?
Give me one of your better ones.
I'll give you a good one.
My brother-in-law is so stupid.
My sister's brother.
Right.
His sister's husband.
My sister's husband, rather?
My sister's brother would be my brother.
Okay, whatever.
He came up with a bucket list.
You know what I mean?
A bucket list?
Oh, sure.
You know what his first thing on the bucket list was?
Committing suicide.
That's just stupid.
Have you ever heard of the Falkland Islands?
Rings a bell, but I don't know much about it.
I don't know how you're in it.
I mean...
Come to think of it, I got addicted to you.
Oh, no, no, no.
And come to think of it, I need somebody like you.
Oh, no, no, no.
I need someone like you.
They open a restaurant called Melrose Place on it, and then it's right beside
my house.
Every time I go out, there's all these retards, like tourists.
And then these tourist retards, like they're always fat, and they're taking
pictures, standing
in front of this restaurant.
Uh-huh.
Yeah?
Yeah.