Name: "I Threw 60 thousand Dollars into the Ocean" Norm Macdonald Gambling Stories
Uploaded: 2023-06-14T08:22:40.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '"I Threw 60 thousand Dollars into the Ocean" Norm Macdonald Gambling Stories' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '"I Threw 60 thousand Dollars into the Ocean" Norm Macdonald Gambling Stories' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-14. Transcript available.

I did a stupid thing one time.
Okay, he's ready to talk.
This was my big statement.
I threw over at Atlantic City on the boardwalk.
I threw 60,000 into the ocean.
No way.
Yeah, to quit.
That was my thing.
I'm gonna quit.
Why did you just quit and keep the 60?
It was supposed to be like...
I felt like I was in a movie.
Wow.
That was a symbolic kind of a thing.
Like, was it money or chips?
No, it was money.
It was money.
It was money.
It was money.
Holy shit.
I said chips and he goes, "What's that?"
Wait, so you threw 60 grams?
Because you had a moment where you're like, "This is cleansing, this is like to
the ocean I committed."
The same way a drug addict would throw his drugs into the ocean.
Sure, right.
How long after it left your hand did you regret it?
I regretted it pretty grand.
See, I would have thrown the fucking dealer into the...
That's how I would get over it.
Those stone-faced idiots.
I'm surprised that people like dealers don't get...
Killed.
Killed.
Hey, so I was at the Pacquiao.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I almost made a bet.
Yeah.
I almost made a bet that it would go the distance in Mosley's favor.
Almost.
Wow.
But I was a little bit afraid.
Tell everybody what your bet was, Norman.
I bet Pacquiao to win $25,000 to win $3,000.
Wait a minute.
How is that possible?
You put down $25,000.
Yeah.
Maybe lose $25,000 to win $3,000.
Yeah.
But I won $3,000.
What?
Was it that it was a knockout or what was the actual bet?
No, it was just that he would win.
But I got scared because I was so happy when Mosley went down.
And then all of a sudden, he got up.
And then I was scared because, you know, one punch can end it at any moment,
you know?
Yeah, yeah.
And no, that's the most money I ever put on a fight.
And also, I don't know nothing about boxing.
How did you, what did you go?
By the commercials?
Or is karaoke singing?
Or?
How did you pick Pacquiao?
Well, usually I kind of went against my instincts on this one.
Because usually, I picked the bigger, blacker guy.
But in this instance, you know, I met him, Pacquiao.
And he seemed, he seemed unbeatable.
Yeah, he is.
You know, pound for pound.
Yeah.
Unfortunately, the other guy weighed more pounds.
Now, have you ever lost, have you ever been devastated and lost like a big bet?
I've lost everything I own three times.
Like, tapped out?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That happened to me three times.
But since, I've gotten control of it since.
But one time, man, I was, actually after you lose everything, sometimes you
kind of feel good.
It's odd.
But you feel like, you feel like clean.
You go, hey man, I feel all right.
You know?
But, uh.
My car's gone.
My house is gone.
You know what?
I'm all right.
I feel, I'm cleansed.
I don't have my watch anymore.
But one time I had nothing left.
I went up to my room and I was like, I walked by the Coca-Cola machine.
I love Coca-Cola.
You know?
Yeah.
So I said, I'm going to have a frosty Coca-Cola, you know?
But I only had 65 cents to my name, right?
And it cost a dollar.
So I go, I get this, hatch this plan.
I'll go down to the nickel slots and I'll make myself a dollar.
So I go down there at my 65 cents.
I'm putting in nickels.
And it took an hour and a half.
I get up to, I get up to 95 cents eight times.
And I never broke a dollar.
And then later I thought, I think they would have given me a free drink.
Yeah, right?
All you gotta do is, you know, cocktails.
Yeah.
That's by the way how you know you're not good in gambling.
When you have a gambling problem is when the guys start giving you things.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Like, because pit boss, when you first go, you're like, hey man,
the pit boss just offered me some free meat.
You know?
That's a nice fella.
You know?
And then you realize he's only doing it because you're a sap.
But man, I would go in, I'd bet so much money at the end of the thing.
The guy would be like, you want some meat?
Anything to keep me in the casino.
Hey, some beef.
Hey, want to have sex with my wife?
Anything.
You know?
Yeah.
Someone told me something amazing about you.
That the movie Rounders, which is about underground gambling,
was based on your life.
Oh, no.
Is that true?
That they followed you around?
No.
I didn't say that.
I did.
I got that information.
I know that guy who wrote it likes Norm.
Is that on my Wikipedia?
You know, Brian Koppelman likes you.
The writer of that.
And he followed Norm around and Norm would go play poker at a lot of these
underground couples.
In the middle of the night?
In the middle of the night.
That's true.
And it's actually a documentary on Norm's life.
No, it's not.
It is.
But I would go to the same club where they did Rounders.
And this was before Rounders.
Why would you play poker?
When I was a kid, I played backgammon.
I was good at backgammon.
But why would you play poker at an underground club when you could go to, let's
say,
Vegas or Atlantic City and play poker?
Why would you go underground?
What is the appeal?
Because I was only a little kid.
I was just a kid.
Oh, you were a kid.
Well, no.
But one is two blocks away in Manhattan.
Oh, I see.
Me and Norm went to a week.
The second time I was on your show ever with Norm, we were in one of those
clubs all night
long.
Right.
And we came right from the club.
Did you get your clock cleaned?
Did you lose a lot of money?
I lost all my money immediately.
So I had to start shooting pool.
There was just all gambling going on.
So I shot eight ball until like 6:30 in the morning with a guy.
And I lost 800 bucks doing that.
And then Norm, I lost about two grand at the tables.
Norm played poker.
Did Norm win?
Hey, one time a guy tried to hustle me at pool.
Are you good at pool?
Norm's good at pool.
I mean, you're good.
No, I'm not very good.
But we're just playing like bar pool.
Like we're all drunks.
This is when I was young, you know?
But you play for a lot of money.
No, no, no.
This is what I had no money in.
Okay.
So I'm playing this fucking...
Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm right.
Yeah, you're okay.
Well, I'm playing this fucking pool hall and this big giant black guy.
It doesn't matter what color he was.
Yeah.
All right, but it helps the story.
Giant black guys.
Like Fars Whitaker in the color of money.
In the color of money, yeah.
So he comes...
No, but he's dressed like...
He has all this stuff and he has two girls with him, you know?
And I'm all drunk.
I'm an idiot, you know, with my friends playing pool.
Wow.
So he goes, I'm next, you know?
So he puts his like fucking four quarters down.
Okay.
And then he goes, here, let's play.
So the guy, he has his own stick, you know?
Oh, boy, you're in for trouble.
Yeah.
So we're playing and he's missing by only like a millimeter every time, you
know?
But I win.
Like I beat him handily.
Wow.
But like he's the worst hustler ever, right?
So we play for a dollar.
So then he goes, now we're playing.
He goes, now we're playing for a hundred dollars.
Uh-oh.
Like it goes up to a hundred from one and I just beat him every fucking...
So I go, no, I'm not playing.
What?
I'm not playing.
I'm taking my four dollars and going home.
I'm all drunk, you know?
I go, I'm ahead a dollar.
I was kind of an idiot.
Yeah.
I go, I'm ahead a dollar, you know?
I'm not playing you anymore.
Ah!
And so the guy goes, ah, he's all mad.
So then another guy played and then, stupidly, I gave my friend advice.
And then the big giant guy hit me with a cue across my head.
Wow.
And I looked up and the cue stick was right in my head.
And he goes, I break people's bones for a living, motherfucker.
Whoa, you're kidding me.
Yeah, that was my story.
He sounds like Phil Paul Williams, that guy.
That's why I was like that.
Wow.
But Norm...
So that was my story about my cool hustling days.
You should keep that one to yourself, the cool hustling story.
But Norm, you shouldn't tell that on radio.
Yeah.
But Norm, I don't understand something.
You go to these underground clubs and you play these cards, and it's a lot of
money.
You're talking about a couple of grand, right?
You're talking about maybe 20, 30 grand.
I lost a couple of grand.
You're talking 20?
Got 160 million.
You're talking about it.
It's like when Johnny Carson tried to be like, what's a loaf of bread cost
nowadays?
Is this crazy?
No, I'm saying...
I got an issue.
It's like two grand.
It's like two grand.
I wouldn't gamble a hundred dollars.
Yeah, but he's not a gambler.
I've seen Howard get mad over ten bucks.
I don't understand it.
I don't like to gamble.
I find it insulting.
In other words, I find making money, you know, especially where I grew up, is a
very
hard thing for a lot of people, and it's a tough thing.
And to just piss it away in a gambling situation...
My old man felt the same way.
...offends me.
Yeah.
My father would think that, too.
Right?
But you play for big bucks, right?
I mean, 20, 30 grand a clip, right?
I've tried my best.
Well, you don't remember what happened with this place.
When we got...
We were there all night.
Yeah, tell the truth.
Well, we were there.
I don't know what Norm played that night.
He was playing all night.
I lost 2,000 myself, you know?
Right.
So, we came here, and Norm accidentally said the name of the place.
Oh, fuck yeah.
Do you remember that, Norm?
Yes, because the guy did not care for that.
A guy called up.
A guy called up and said, "Yeah, listen, Norma."
Like, later in the afternoon, he said, "Listen, we appreciate you coming here,
but we don't
have a fucking publicity department."
We're not looking for customers.
They're not looking for that.
Can I say the name of the place?
It's not there anymore.
The Mayfair.
It's not there anymore.
The Mayfair.
It's not there anymore.
It's a famous place now.
The Mayfair.
But, Norm, I think Howard's right in the sense that that guy Koppelman who
wrote Rounders,
he's a good guy.
I know him, too.
He likes you.
No, he was there all the time.
Yeah, he played at the Rounders.
Well, why couldn't it be his own story if he was there?
I might be involved.
I knew a guy that was in the movie, Joey Bagels.
Yeah, what I hear is that it was based on you.
Legitimately, yeah.
He would watch Norm while he played.
Is it true you're betting English Premier League soccer or some sort of weird...
I have bet soccer.
That's not a lot of fun because...
No, it doesn't sound like that.
It's 90 minutes.
Yeah.
20 minutes into it, you're down 1-0, you're in a lot of trouble.
Right.
The chance of them tying it up, let alone winning, they only have 70 minutes
left.
So what other stuff did you wager on?
I wagered on...
Is that the weirdest?
You bet on tennis?
Oh yeah, I bet tennis.
Golf?
Obviously golf.
Yeah, I bet everything.
What do you do?
What's your strategy for golf?
Well, I made a lot of money betting against Tiger when he was...
They had a weird bet in Vegas for a while when Tiger was so dominant.
It was anybody but Tiger.
Oh, I like that.
And the odds were always skewed because they know that people always thought
Tiger was
going to win.
Right.
So the odds would be you'd get them at one to two or something like that.
Yeah.
Because everybody would go into like a sports book like tourists and go, hey I
can bet on
Tiger plus that pays two and a half to one?
Yeah.
That's a good deal, you know?
That's what...
You know how they also get the Red Sox and the Cubs fans that way?
Oh, by what they know.
Because like if Daniel goes to Vegas, he's got like, you know, some family
member or something
saying, hey when you're there can you put 20 in the Red Sox for me?
Yeah.
Those are the two teams that everybody does that for.
So they jack the odds really low.
How do they know which team is going to play?
Because they know...
How do they know which team is going to show up?
Their goal with the future is...
Oh, you mean if...
Not if they're playing each other but...
No, no, no.
Yeah, the future, the World Series.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, put 20 in there.
Oh, yeah, of course.
The odds would be low.
And you know the other team they do that with?
The Lakers.
Right.
You get so much people driving in from Los Angeles to Vegas so they know they
can skew the odds.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Basically toward the Lakers.
Hey, what about this?
What have you...
I always wondered this.
You know when you drive from Vegas to...
I mean from Los Angeles to Las Vegas?
Yeah, usually.
And then there's that thing where you hit the Vegas border.
Yeah.
And it's a casino.
Right?
I don't know what that town's called but as soon as you cross...
It's that town that's like for people who have such bad gambling problems they
can't wait
to get to Las Vegas.
They can't wait to get to Vegas.
I got to pull off now and bet.
I can't take it.
But don't you think it's happened where like a person is flown in from some
former country,
got to L.A. driven, seen that, figured it was Vegas.
Oh, and just spent like the weekend there?
Yeah, and then came home.
Doesn't that have a rock in the name?
It's like something rock or rock something.
Yeah, it is rock something.
Red rock or...
Little Rock.
Little Rock, Arkansas?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Explain to me.
Daniel.
Daniel's not exactly Watson over here.
What's the most you ever bet on a sporting event?
Oh, my God.
I don't know, probably 100,000 or something like that.
Wait, what game?
It was actually the worst beat of the century.
It was pretty bad.
That's the...
It was...
I had the over, which I think was seven.
And the...
No, it was six and a half.
I'm sorry.
It was six and a half.
And the game was tied 2-2.
And I think Ventura was the batter.
Wait, the Grand Slam?
Yeah, the one-run Grand Slam.
You know that one?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it was tragic.
And I remember Costas at the time, because it was just bedlam.
And he goes, "I don't think those will count."
You know?
And I'm like, "Oh, Costas must have..."
He had the under?
He must have.
He was pretty happy about it.
But did you bet with Artie Lang when you would hang out with him?
Yeah, yeah.
Artie and I got a lot together.
We were...
We re-enabled each other.
If you...
People often say that if you play a round of golf with somebody,
you can find everything you need to know about a guy.
If I said...
Could you find out that same amount of information as to how competitive?
Does he cheat?
A fun guy?
Does he have beers?
Smokes cigars?
Could you have that same kind of feeling about a guy playing poker?
Well, not as much because, you know, lying is part of the game and so forth.
Golf, I completely agree with you.
You can find out...
When I play golf, I count every stroke.
And it maddens me, you know, when people don't.
What got you interested?
I read a thing in Golf Digest once, actually.
It was...
Jack Nicklaus, Gerald Ford, and Jimmy...
What's his name?
Clinton were playing a round of golf.
And it was really funny because Clinton, allegedly a scratch player, just
cheated the whole time.
And so, you know, he'd be in the woods and everything.
And he was one of these guys who'd get up on the green and then start counting
after.
You know, give me a birdie, you know, give me a bogey or whatever.
And the other guys were just fuming about it, you know.
I did not cheat.
I did not.
What was the biggest bet you ever made?
Oh, God almighty.
I don't know.
I...
One time...
I mean, the most I lost in one night where I...
Because three times I've lost everything that I've ever had.
How do you do that?
I mean, not immorally, but I mean, like...
How do you...
Physically do it?
Well, yeah.
I mean, like, you know, you make one more...
Like, what is the process of that?
What's the evolution?
It's funny because it's a...
The only time I ever went to a psychiatrist, he said, like...
I was like...
Because it was for gambling.
I was like, "How the fuck do I get out of this?"
And he's like, "Oh, you gamble to avoid life."
You know?
And I'm like...
But my thing was, well, isn't that why you do everything in life?
Is to fucking avoid it?
You know what I mean?
Like...
It's too painful.
Yeah.
Why do you...
So I said, but...
Oh, it's painful to think about, but...
Because now it would be nice to have the money.
But you just lose it by...
By...
It's just, like, any escape, I guess.
Because I was never a drug or alcohol guy.
But, like, when I watch a game and I have a bunch of money on it,
then I can understand what's going on.
Nothing's ambivalent or anything about it, you know?
And there's stakes.
There's stakes.
You know exactly the rules.
Yeah.
You're completely involved and you're completely escaped from your life.
Yeah.
Of the real...
Yeah.
The real...
The real fear.
My biggest problem is ruminating about death.
If I could get over that somehow.
And you do that regularly?
I try to...
I read fucking books about it and shit.
So, like, you still haven't walked me through losing everything.
Well, how you do it?
Physically?
Because, like, I mean, because, like, you know, you've got a house,
you've got a lot of money saved up, and then, like, so you make one bet,
and then you realize you're about to lose everything.
Do you make phone calls to people saying, like, I just need a little more?
I mean...
Well, you know, you kind of, at the end of it, you know it's happening.
I guess it's like, I've never had substance abuse problems,
but I guess it's like people that know they're going to hit bottom, you know,
and kind of want it.
Yeah.
It does get, it's exhausting to be obsessed with something.
Right.
So, you are, I guess, trying to do it, trying to finish it off.
Right.
Finally.
Right.
Because if you have 450,000 in the bank, whatever the fuck it was,
and then you lose 400,000, you go, fuck it.
I don't want to fucking have 50,000.
Right.
To remind me that, I don't want money to remind me that I have more money.
So that's how you do it.
So that's how you do it.

"I Threw 60 thousand Dollars into the Ocean"         Norm Macdonald Gambling Stories

I did a stupid thing one time.
Okay, he's ready to talk.
This was my big statement.
I threw over at Atlantic City on the boardwalk.
I threw 60,000 into the ocean.
No way.
Yeah, to quit.
That was my thing.
I'm gonna quit.
Why did you just quit and keep the 60?
It was supposed to be like...
I felt like I was in a movie.
Wow.
That was a symbolic kind of a thing.
Like, was it money or chips?
No, it was money.
It was money.
It was money.
It was money.
Holy shit.
I said chips and he goes, "What's that?"
Wait, so you threw 60 grams?
Because you had a moment where you're like, "This is cleansing, this is like to
the ocean I committed."
The same way a drug addict would throw his drugs into the ocean.
Sure, right.
How long after it left your hand did you regret it?
I regretted it pretty grand.
See, I would have thrown the fucking dealer into the...
That's how I would get over it.
Those stone-faced idiots.
I'm surprised that people like dealers don't get...
Killed.
Killed.
Hey, so I was at the Pacquiao.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I almost made a bet.
Yeah.
I almost made a bet that it would go the distance in Mosley's favor.
Almost.
Wow.
But I was a little bit afraid.
Tell everybody what your bet was, Norman.
I bet Pacquiao to win $25,000 to win $3,000.
Wait a minute.
How is that possible?
You put down $25,000.
Yeah.
Maybe lose $25,000 to win $3,000.
Yeah.
But I won $3,000.
What?
Was it that it was a knockout or what was the actual bet?
No, it was just that he would win.
But I got scared because I was so happy when Mosley went down.
And then all of a sudden, he got up.
And then I was scared because, you know, one punch can end it at any moment,
you know?
Yeah, yeah.
And no, that's the most money I ever put on a fight.
And also, I don't know nothing about boxing.
How did you, what did you go?
By the commercials?
Or is karaoke singing?
Or?
How did you pick Pacquiao?
Well, usually I kind of went against my instincts on this one.
Because usually, I picked the bigger, blacker guy.
But in this instance, you know, I met him, Pacquiao.
And he seemed, he seemed unbeatable.
Yeah, he is.
You know, pound for pound.
Yeah.
Unfortunately, the other guy weighed more pounds.
Now, have you ever lost, have you ever been devastated and lost like a big bet?
I've lost everything I own three times.
Like, tapped out?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That happened to me three times.
But since, I've gotten control of it since.
But one time, man, I was, actually after you lose everything, sometimes you
kind of feel good.
It's odd.
But you feel like, you feel like clean.
You go, hey man, I feel all right.
You know?
But, uh.
My car's gone.
My house is gone.
You know what?
I'm all right.
I feel, I'm cleansed.
I don't have my watch anymore.
But one time I had nothing left.
I went up to my room and I was like, I walked by the Coca-Cola machine.
I love Coca-Cola.
You know?
Yeah.
So I said, I'm going to have a frosty Coca-Cola, you know?
But I only had 65 cents to my name, right?
And it cost a dollar.
So I go, I get this, hatch this plan.
I'll go down to the nickel slots and I'll make myself a dollar.
So I go down there at my 65 cents.
I'm putting in nickels.
And it took an hour and a half.
I get up to, I get up to 95 cents eight times.
And I never broke a dollar.
And then later I thought, I think they would have given me a free drink.
Yeah, right?
All you gotta do is, you know, cocktails.
Yeah.
That's by the way how you know you're not good in gambling.
When you have a gambling problem is when the guys start giving you things.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Like, because pit boss, when you first go, you're like, hey man,
the pit boss just offered me some free meat.
You know?
That's a nice fella.
You know?
And then you realize he's only doing it because you're a sap.
But man, I would go in, I'd bet so much money at the end of the thing.
The guy would be like, you want some meat?
Anything to keep me in the casino.
Hey, some beef.
Hey, want to have sex with my wife?
Anything.
You know?
Yeah.
Someone told me something amazing about you.
That the movie Rounders, which is about underground gambling,
was based on your life.
Oh, no.
Is that true?
That they followed you around?
No.
I didn't say that.
I did.
I got that information.
I know that guy who wrote it likes Norm.
Is that on my Wikipedia?
You know, Brian Koppelman likes you.
The writer of that.
And he followed Norm around and Norm would go play poker at a lot of these
underground couples.
In the middle of the night?
In the middle of the night.
That's true.
And it's actually a documentary on Norm's life.
No, it's not.
It is.
But I would go to the same club where they did Rounders.
And this was before Rounders.
Why would you play poker?
When I was a kid, I played backgammon.
I was good at backgammon.
But why would you play poker at an underground club when you could go to, let's
say,
Vegas or Atlantic City and play poker?
Why would you go underground?
What is the appeal?
Because I was only a little kid.
I was just a kid.
Oh, you were a kid.
Well, no.
But one is two blocks away in Manhattan.
Oh, I see.
Me and Norm went to a week.
The second time I was on your show ever with Norm, we were in one of those
clubs all night
long.
Right.
And we came right from the club.
Did you get your clock cleaned?
Did you lose a lot of money?
I lost all my money immediately.
So I had to start shooting pool.
There was just all gambling going on.
So I shot eight ball until like 6:30 in the morning with a guy.
And I lost 800 bucks doing that.
And then Norm, I lost about two grand at the tables.
Norm played poker.
Did Norm win?
Hey, one time a guy tried to hustle me at pool.
Are you good at pool?
Norm's good at pool.
I mean, you're good.
No, I'm not very good.
But we're just playing like bar pool.
Like we're all drunks.
This is when I was young, you know?
But you play for a lot of money.
No, no, no.
This is what I had no money in.
Okay.
So I'm playing this fucking...
Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm right.
Yeah, you're okay.
Well, I'm playing this fucking pool hall and this big giant black guy.
It doesn't matter what color he was.
Yeah.
All right, but it helps the story.
Giant black guys.
Like Fars Whitaker in the color of money.
In the color of money, yeah.
So he comes...
No, but he's dressed like...
He has all this stuff and he has two girls with him, you know?
And I'm all drunk.
I'm an idiot, you know, with my friends playing pool.
Wow.
So he goes, I'm next, you know?
So he puts his like fucking four quarters down.
Okay.
And then he goes, here, let's play.
So the guy, he has his own stick, you know?
Oh, boy, you're in for trouble.
Yeah.
So we're playing and he's missing by only like a millimeter every time, you
know?
But I win.
Like I beat him handily.
Wow.
But like he's the worst hustler ever, right?
So we play for a dollar.
So then he goes, now we're playing.
He goes, now we're playing for a hundred dollars.
Uh-oh.
Like it goes up to a hundred from one and I just beat him every fucking...
So I go, no, I'm not playing.
What?
I'm not playing.
I'm taking my four dollars and going home.
I'm all drunk, you know?
I go, I'm ahead a dollar.
I was kind of an idiot.
Yeah.
I go, I'm ahead a dollar, you know?
I'm not playing you anymore.
Ah!
And so the guy goes, ah, he's all mad.
So then another guy played and then, stupidly, I gave my friend advice.
And then the big giant guy hit me with a cue across my head.
Wow.
And I looked up and the cue stick was right in my head.
And he goes, I break people's bones for a living, motherfucker.
Whoa, you're kidding me.
Yeah, that was my story.
He sounds like Phil Paul Williams, that guy.
That's why I was like that.
Wow.
But Norm...
So that was my story about my cool hustling days.
You should keep that one to yourself, the cool hustling story.
But Norm, you shouldn't tell that on radio.
Yeah.
But Norm, I don't understand something.
You go to these underground clubs and you play these cards, and it's a lot of
money.
You're talking about a couple of grand, right?
You're talking about maybe 20, 30 grand.
I lost a couple of grand.
You're talking 20?
Got 160 million.
You're talking about it.
It's like when Johnny Carson tried to be like, what's a loaf of bread cost
nowadays?
Is this crazy?
No, I'm saying...
I got an issue.
It's like two grand.
It's like two grand.
I wouldn't gamble a hundred dollars.
Yeah, but he's not a gambler.
I've seen Howard get mad over ten bucks.
I don't understand it.
I don't like to gamble.
I find it insulting.
In other words, I find making money, you know, especially where I grew up, is a
very
hard thing for a lot of people, and it's a tough thing.
And to just piss it away in a gambling situation...
My old man felt the same way.
...offends me.
Yeah.
My father would think that, too.
Right?
But you play for big bucks, right?
I mean, 20, 30 grand a clip, right?
I've tried my best.
Well, you don't remember what happened with this place.
When we got...
We were there all night.
Yeah, tell the truth.
Well, we were there.
I don't know what Norm played that night.
He was playing all night.
I lost 2,000 myself, you know?
Right.
So, we came here, and Norm accidentally said the name of the place.
Oh, fuck yeah.
Do you remember that, Norm?
Yes, because the guy did not care for that.
A guy called up.
A guy called up and said, "Yeah, listen, Norma."
Like, later in the afternoon, he said, "Listen, we appreciate you coming here,
but we don't
have a fucking publicity department."
We're not looking for customers.
They're not looking for that.
Can I say the name of the place?
It's not there anymore.
The Mayfair.
It's not there anymore.
The Mayfair.
It's not there anymore.
It's a famous place now.
The Mayfair.
But, Norm, I think Howard's right in the sense that that guy Koppelman who
wrote Rounders,
he's a good guy.
I know him, too.
He likes you.
No, he was there all the time.
Yeah, he played at the Rounders.
Well, why couldn't it be his own story if he was there?
I might be involved.
I knew a guy that was in the movie, Joey Bagels.
Yeah, what I hear is that it was based on you.
Legitimately, yeah.
He would watch Norm while he played.
Is it true you're betting English Premier League soccer or some sort of weird...
I have bet soccer.
That's not a lot of fun because...
No, it doesn't sound like that.
It's 90 minutes.
Yeah.
20 minutes into it, you're down 1-0, you're in a lot of trouble.
Right.
The chance of them tying it up, let alone winning, they only have 70 minutes
left.
So what other stuff did you wager on?
I wagered on...
Is that the weirdest?
You bet on tennis?
Oh yeah, I bet tennis.
Golf?
Obviously golf.
Yeah, I bet everything.
What do you do?
What's your strategy for golf?
Well, I made a lot of money betting against Tiger when he was...
They had a weird bet in Vegas for a while when Tiger was so dominant.
It was anybody but Tiger.
Oh, I like that.
And the odds were always skewed because they know that people always thought
Tiger was
going to win.
Right.
So the odds would be you'd get them at one to two or something like that.
Yeah.
Because everybody would go into like a sports book like tourists and go, hey I
can bet on
Tiger plus that pays two and a half to one?
Yeah.
That's a good deal, you know?
That's what...
You know how they also get the Red Sox and the Cubs fans that way?
Oh, by what they know.
Because like if Daniel goes to Vegas, he's got like, you know, some family
member or something
saying, hey when you're there can you put 20 in the Red Sox for me?
Yeah.
Those are the two teams that everybody does that for.
So they jack the odds really low.
How do they know which team is going to play?
Because they know...
How do they know which team is going to show up?
Their goal with the future is...
Oh, you mean if...
Not if they're playing each other but...
No, no, no.
Yeah, the future, the World Series.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, put 20 in there.
Oh, yeah, of course.
The odds would be low.
And you know the other team they do that with?
The Lakers.
Right.
You get so much people dr