Name: Nobody Told Michael Jackson Jokes like Norm Macdonald
Uploaded: 2023-06-28T01:51:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Nobody Told Michael Jackson Jokes like Norm Macdonald' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Nobody Told Michael Jackson Jokes like Norm Macdonald' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-28. Transcript available.

A Brazilian teenager suing Michael Jackson for running him over with his van
displayed his scars for a photographer this week.
Jackson said through a spokesman that the suit was baseless,
but he'd like to see more photos.
Well, there may be trouble in paradise.
Lisa Marie Presley confirmed this week
that she and Michael Jackson live in separate residences
50 miles away from each other.
Lisa Marie was quoted as saying,
I guess being married to a homosexual pedophile
wasn't such a great idea after that.
Hey, Lisa Marie Presley said that she and Michael
are still together and happy this week.
She also made a revelation that she is actually a nine-year-old boy.
While in the hospital, Michael Jackson had his room
specially decorated with two huge photos of Shirley Temple.
But don't get the wrong idea here.
Michael Jackson is a homosexual pedophile.
The nation is still reeling from Thursday's bombshell announcement
that Lisa Marie Presley has filed for divorce from Michael Jackson.
According to friends, the two were never a good match.
She's more of a stay-at-home type,
and he's more of a homosexual pedophile.
This week, in a secret ceremony in Australia,
Michael Jackson was married for the second time.
Asked what makes his new bride special,
the king of pop said,
quote,
she has taught me about the power of imagination,
like imagining that a grown woman is a ten-year-old boy.
You know he's a homosexual pedophile, right?
You understand?
And yes, it is true, Michael Jackson is going to be a father.
Already he has hired an entire staff of nannies, nurses, and extra bodyguards,
which hopefully will protect the child from Michael Jackson.
The New York Post has reported that Michael Jackson wants his closest friend in
the world,
Elizabeth Taylor, to be the godmother of his child.
However, those close to the pair worry that this could eventually lead to
heated arguments
over whether the child will be molested or eaten.
And according to his dad, the three-day-old boy is a regular chip off the old
block.
In fact, he's already molested a one-day-old boy.
This week, a London tabloid published the first exclusive pictures of Michael
Jackson's baby,
secretly taken by a guest at the King of Pop's Neverland Ranch.
Upon seeing the pictures, Michael said,
this is not my baby.
Then quickly added,
I'm not saying he isn't hot.
He's hot.
It's just not my kid.
I'm not saying he's a very sexy infant.
It's just not mine.
I would love to have sex with him.
He's just not my child.
That's all I'm saying.
In next week's Life magazine,
pop star Michael Jackson appears in a pictorial with his infant son.
The photos show Jackson changing, feeding, and cradling the baby boy
in what Jackson himself promises
will be Life magazine's sexiest issue ever.
Michael Jackson.
He said, I heard a quote where he said,
he said,
I don't care if my child is a boy or a girl,
as long as it's a boy.
He's going to name it.
He said he doesn't know what he's going to name it.
He said he thinks if it's a girl,
he's going to name it Sharon.
Really?
Yeah, and if it's a boy, he's going to have sex with it.
That's what he said.
I mean, even, like you say,
your unwanted WNT allegations against Michael Jackson,
there had to be kids that were like,
this is pretty cool.
this is not some old priest.
I was doing a bunch of jokes about Michael Jackson,
and he said,
Norm, you don't want to get sued by Michael Jackson.
And secretly, I did.
I didn't tell Lauren.
I thought, how fucking cool would that be?
In court, there's Michael Jackson on the other side.
Yeah.
It's Michael Jackson against Norm.
That has to help my profile.