Name: Norm Introduces Adam Eget to Howard Stern
Uploaded: 2023-07-24T11:37:56.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Introduces Adam Eget to Howard Stern' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Introduces Adam Eget to Howard Stern' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-24. Transcript available.

Here's your apology. I got it.
Oh, you got it. Good, because I forgot my password.
Roseanne and Louis have been both very good friends of mine for many years.
They both made terrible mistakes, and I would never defend their actions.
If my words sounded like I was minimizing the pain that their victims feel to
this day, I am deeply sorry.
Yeah, I am.
Yeah.
I am sorry.
All right. Listen, Norm has a show.
Oh, man. Is this how it's going to happen?
I don't know.
I like that guy you work with on the show, by the way.
Adam Ega.
What's his deal?
He's my sidekick.
Is he a comic?
No.
Who is he?
He's a guy.
How's he get on your show?
I wanted to get a guy, because I was like...
Is he your Ed McMahon, or is he more like Robin, who is really in there with me?
No, no, no. He's not like Robin.
No.
He's more like Ed McMahon.
He's not a strong person.
No.
You know how Ed McMahon was kind of afraid of Carson and stuff like that?
No.
And so I thought, what if you really amped that up?
So I didn't want to get a comedian that would give blowback to me.
Right.
I just wanted a guy that I could crush.
Right, right, right.
Can we bring him in?
All right.
Maybe that's a good way to add.
Yeah, yeah.
Because, you know, look, I mean, you got your own troubles.
I understand.
Let me ask him the question.
Do you support me, too, or are you one of these?
Oh, God.
Let's see if he can get you at the show.
You do support me.
Of course.
Norm says you don't.
Oh, well.
He says you're a Cro-Mangana.
He's ready to change his mind.
Right.
He has to.
How did you get on Norm's talk show?
I mean, I watch you on YouTube.
I like you.
I like how you...
Oh, I appreciate that.
I like how you guys interact.
But what is your background to be on Norm's show?
Well, Norm and I have known each other for many years.
Yeah, I used to manage the improv in Tempe.
And now I book the comedy store.
Oh, you do?
Yeah.
When he was a young man, he did stuff that, you know...
What'd he do?
What stuff?
Uh-oh, here we go.
When you're a young man, Kern can be hard to come by.
Oh, yes.
You have money.
And you do what you can.
And this was in New York City.
So you dealt drugs?
What did you do?
You know the Queensborough Bridge?
Yes.
Well...
Is this true?
I guess...
What did you do at the Queensborough Bridge?
I guess I can say...
Were you a male hooker?
No, no.
I can say it in the way that's more...
When he lived, when he was a young man living here in New York City,
he used to jerk off punks out of the Queensborough Bridge,
for $15 a man.
Is that right?
You jerked off guys for $15 a man to make money?
He's not homosexual.
He's not gay.
No, that's not gay if you're doing it for money, I guess.
I mean, this is many...
The economy's changed, you know?
Right.
It doesn't sound great now.
No, it doesn't.
Never sound great.
Sounds wrong.
Sounds like you're a gigolo.
No, he's not a...
Oh, I wish.
It wasn't like Richard Gere.
No.
It's the opposite.
Part of it was like Richard Gere.
No.
But you guys do a nice thing together.
I love it.
And I watched you guys from the YouTube days.
Oh, that's cool.
Now you're on this.
Love it.
Love it.
Well, I love you both so much.
Yeah, I love Norm.
Imagine being in here.
I'm shocked, right?
But most days we would never have you in.
Rightfully so.
Because Norm is in so much trouble right now and got kicked off the Tonight
Show, we brought
you in as like kind of a buffer.
We didn't want to end on that.
This fucker, you know, I fucking, I wrote a book.
I put him in the book.
I made him a literary figure.
Right.
I made him a sidekick on a TV show.
Jesus.
As soon as he gets a little bit of aim, he dumps me for spade.
Really?
Is that true?
I didn't dump him for spade.
Yeah, you fucking did.
No, I mean...
Come over here and give me a handjob.
Let me see what you got all that money for.
He drives me.
I used to go...
Did you use lotion with that or what?
I used to go and take him.
We'd go to diners and have fun.
You know what?
Yeah.
And I'd have him open for me on the road.
Then spade shows up.
I'll take you to meals.
He takes me to meals.
He's got courses and shit.
Yeah, yeah.
I got friends like that.
Yeah, yeah.
They go to the highest bidder.
I bet you got spade.
You got spades.
When's the last time you talked to spade?
Honest to God.
This morning?
This morning.
Wow.
He never told me this.
We talked to spade this morning.
Yeah.
He's been great.
Like, you both have been great.
Are you jealous of spade?
Because he has a friendship with your man?
Well, because spade has a billion friends.
Right.
You only have one.
I got it.
What is he, Gary?
You know, I've met him before.
I met this guy before.
Spade took him to Otello for the whole weekend.
Oh, no kidding.
Yeah.
To the hotel.
He did?
Yeah.
You didn't know?
Motherfucker.
I never got to see the Rolling Stones.
It was amazing.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
I took you to that fucking...
Yeah, to see Bill and Joe Shaver at the Roxy.
Who paid for the fucking Holiday Inn?
Express.
That's true.
No, that is true.
You know what I realized?
When you got fired from SNL, you did our show the next day.
I did.
And now that you're in trouble with SNL.
There you are again.
I mean, now you're on here again.
Hopefully the tradition ends there, isn't it?
It is weird.
Yeah.
You know?
Like, I guess this is where you go when you're in trouble.
You're my father confessing.
I think so.
Yeah, yeah.
All right.
Hey, what about this joke?
You want to hear a joke?
Yeah.
Yes.
You should end on it.
You know what?
Why don't you end on it?
Because this show...
I love it when he tells a joke.
Show me and we do jokes.
You know what I mean?
We do jokes.
I know you're in a shitstorm right now.
I know there's controversy.
What is your prediction, by the way?
What's your name again?
Adam Egan.
Adam Egan.
I know it.
Adam, what is your prediction?
Will Norm...
Has Norm explained himself properly?
Fun spades.
Yes.
Why don't you go be with your buddy?
Look, I think...
Look, I think everyone that listened today, I think that they can all see that
Norm is clearly
really, really sorry about this.
You're upset about that?
No, I was up all night.
I mean, I...
You just want to make people laugh?
Is that what you're saying?
I don't hurt people, you know?
I've known him many years.
He doesn't have...
He doesn't have that capacity.
He really doesn't.
Do you think Norm has addressed this situation?
I think Norm did a very good job.
I do my...
I mean, I'm not a politician, you know?
But, but...
You're not?
You will never run for...
Not now.
Norm's guest, by the way, on the show, I'm very impressed with this list.
Lorne Michaels, David Letterman.
Jane Fonda, fabulous.
Yeah.
I love her.
Yeah, I love her too.
Michael Keaton.
Chevy Chase.
Chevy, yeah.
What did you learn from Chevy?
Well, I...
You did the news and Chevy did the news.
Yes, he did, yeah.
Did you thank Chevy for starting the news?
You know what?
I did thank the news.
You did.
Because...
And I remember when Chevy came on Saturday Night Live and everybody treated him
like a dick.
You know, like he was a dick.
Right.
And I said, we might not have a job because of this guy.
Right.
You know, and my theory about Chevy was he was...
When he started SNL, he was this young kid and he'd say anything about anybody.
Right.
That was what was cool about him.
He was a rebel.
Yeah, he was a rebel.
Then he ages like we all...
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.