Name: Loves Listening to Comedian Talks About Norm Macdonald
Uploaded: 2023-08-09T12:17:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Loves Listening to Comedian Talks About Norm Macdonald' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Loves Listening to Comedian Talks About Norm Macdonald' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-09. Transcript available.

Norm MacDonald said he used to, when he would hit on girls, he pretended he was
drunk so he could act like an asshole.
Oh, eh?
Because then they can't get mad because you're drunk.
So if you do something inappropriate, you're like, well, he's a drunk guy.
You got any more stories?
You guys seen the Gilbert Gottfried?
I didn't see that documentary, no.
No, no, no.
When Norm, when Norm's, there's some roast, and Norm goes up and he just bombs
on purpose.
Yeah.
And he goes, Gilbert Gottfried, if you see a door that says a gentleman, go
ahead and enter.
I don't remember that.
I get fairly...
He goes, Cloris Leachman, they say she's over the hill, not in the car I saw
her driving.
He said that in the roast?
Yeah.
That is a good one.
And he goes, the whole crowd's like this.
It's so funny.
And he's bombing, and he never crack.
Oh, he never crack.
And he goes, Greg Giraldo, and I was like a hawk, something like a sparrow.
Ladies and gentlemen, this man is for the birds.
Exactly.
And then Norm said something like, he goes, watching...
It's so great.
Norm said something like, watching Norm do this is like watching Henry Fonda
pick grapes.
And Norm goes, that sounds very interesting.
He didn't even fight back on that one when he was insulted.
Oh, God.
No, but you got to have balls to do that, right?
It's a bomb on TV.
Just commit to it.
In front of everybody.
It's committed.
Like he said, he didn't fucking wink.
Yeah, but where do you think you get that from?
Being Canadian?
Norm, he's just like that.
No, Canadians aren't like that.
Yeah, but the bomb on TV?
Yeah.
He was doing it for the other comics.
He was doing it for them.
He wasn't...
No, but they weren't even laughing, because they were even...
Because the jokes were so bad, they were cut to the comics, and they were just
looking...
I mean, they were laughing, but not like...
It was still like an awkward laugh.
I think...
I say you can't teach somebody that.
And then Howard goes...
Howard Stern goes the next day, I didn't really think it was that funny.
And Audie goes, do you know the balls it took?
Howard goes, why does it take balls?
And Audie goes, because it is like you wouldn't get it.
And he did it anyway.
Yeah.
And I was like...
No.
It was true.
It's true.
Everyone's going to take it the wrong way.
There's nine people in the back of the room that are just side-splitting.
Yeah, but even them, even when they...
They took balls.
Yeah.
Even when they cut to other comics, the comics were still like, what is he
doing?
They thought he was setting up something, but he never set up anything.
There was no punchline.
He just hit him with zinger after zinger.
He just kept doing like bad...
It was something that you wouldn't write.
Susie Esmond thinks she's a...
Says she's a vegetarian.
I don't know.
From what I've seen tonight, she's full of baloney.
I mean, you can't...
You can't...
You got to be born with that.
You can't do that.
Nobody can do that.
No, Norm's the only one can do it.
You can't have balls like that.
Norm's the only guy that could make it that funny, too.
Yeah, people said Letterman had balls.
Letterman didn't have any balls compared.
I mean, to do it on TV, he would like take chances, but that's in a studio.
This is bombing in front of your peers and...
And literally strutted up there like he had all the fucking holding all the
cards.
And then he committed...
Just like I got this fucking...
Yeah.
He's a joke.
Like he's on a 1971 fucking...
And no cars or anything.
I mean, because you'd think he's setting something up.
You'd think he's setting up some big thing.
She's over the hill.
Not in the car.
I saw her driving this.
They weren't even good puns.
I mean, they were good puns in the sense of like...
Genius.
It's true.
When you go, what am I going to...
How do you write a bad pun?
It's not that simple.
The fact that instead of just going, he's for the birds, he goes, this, this.
Ladies and gentlemen, this guy is for the birds.
Yeah, he throws up like three types of birds.
He takes his time.
But he goes, ladies and gentlemen, like...
I finally figured out what the fucking problem.
It was so...
Who is that?
For Gerardo?
Yeah.
Were you there?
No.
You just saw him.
I watch it and I go, holy fuck.
I knew immediately because I know him.
He does that shit.
You know, he's so funny.
No, but Bob has a beautiful face like a flower.
Yeah, cauliflower.
No offense, but your face looks like a cauliflower.
No, there are times when Bob has something on his mind.
When he wears a hat.
But no thoughts at all.
Just a hat.
Bob, you have a lot of well-wishers here tonight.
And a lot of them would like to throw you down one.
A well.
They want to murder you in a well.
Seems a little harsh, but...
Apparently, they want to murder you in a well.
It says here on this card.
And Bob is not very worldly.
He thinks the English Channel is a British TV station and not a body of water
separating England and France.
And Bob isn't the biggest sports fan.
I don't think I'm telling any tales out of school.
I took him to a ball game and he came toting a double-barreled shotgun.
Do you remember that?
I said, what the H is that for?
Bob said, I heard the Lions were playing the Tigers.
Do you remember that?
John McDonald, God bless you.
Watching your set was like watching Henry Fonda pick blueberries.
Boy, I don't think there's a person in here that would not love to watch Henry
Fonda pick blueberries.
Yeah, like his other thing he does is he'll just fucking flip it on you.
He does it all the time.
It's so funny.
We'll be like, what?
You're saying you want to...
You're homophobic?
He's like, no, I was saying you're...
This guy's homophobic.
What?
You have a problem with...
Like, you just twist me.
And it's great with, like, politically correct type people.
Yeah.
Fucking flips it on him.
No, he did that to me when I worked on his sports show.
Oh, yeah, you know him well, yeah.
I gave him a ride.
Then I was staying at Neil's house.
Then they're, like, two blocks away in Santa Monica.
So Norm goes, it's Friday night.
We have off Saturday.
Norm goes, you want to come up?
I go, no.
I go, because I think he's tricking me.
Because if I say, yeah, then I'm gay.
So I go, no, I don't want to come up.
So I go up.
He eventually talks me to going up.
It's awkward.
So then I leave.
Then when we go back to work, he goes, yeah, then Brennan drops me up.
He goes, can I come up?
I'm like, what do you want to come up for?
He goes, I want to see, I just want to, I want to just get it.
I want to see your apartment.
I go, the guy must be queer.
Like, he goes, he's like the boss.
He's my boss.
So I have to let him tell the story.
I can't interrupt him.
It's so funny, yeah.
No, it's Kawhi.
I was like, I didn't know that was one of his classic maneuvers.
He's great at that kind of stuff.
You say you're homophobic.
No, he'll do it with anybody.
I mean, you know.
We went shopping one time when we were doing a movie in Boston.
And then the guy's like, he goes, I need to buy jeans.
He just walks in, just announces, I need to buy jeans.
It's a store full of jeans, but he acts like, you know, it's a fucking,
whatever the jeans
store is.
And he acts like, I need jeans.
And then the guy's like, well, sure.
What size do you like?
He goes, and so-and-so.
And he goes, all right, just go in the back of the booth.
What?
Go back there and, you want me to take my pants off?
Look at this guy.
He's just telling all the other customers, this guy just told me to go in the
back and take
my pants off.
I just came here to buy clothes.
This guy wants me to go in the back and just take your pants off of my
underwear.
Was he, he was saying that to him, was somebody there with him?
I was with him.
I was, I mean, the whole store's laughing, but it's like, what?
He just causes a fucking ruckus.
That's classic.