Name: Norm is a Hot Piece of Ass
Uploaded: 2023-08-20T05:56:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm is a Hot Piece of Ass' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm is a Hot Piece of Ass' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-20. Transcript available.

Norm! Normie!
He is very funny, very Jimmy Stewart-like almost in his...
Tall, blue eyes, yeah.
He's very handsome.
Yeah, and he's got a really nice...
Is he available?
Norm, you have everything. From the outside, you're hilarious.
Uh-huh.
You are a good-looking guy. You're famous. You have beautiful blue eyes.
You're...
You're Norm MacDonald.
That was an amazing experience, watching Russell Brand and Norm MacDonald.
Because in my opinion, I think you and I are kind of together on this,
two of the most beautiful human beings, comedically, aesthetically, just to
look at.
Like, you just look at Norm, you kind of can't stop looking at him.
Like, people go like, "Hey, Norm."
But like, nah, if you look at Norm MacDonald, if I told you...
If I just showed you a photo of Norm MacDonald, you'd know who he was.
And I'm like, "Oh, you don't remember this guy from the Cary Grant movies?"
You wouldn't go like, "No, what? Like, he's gorgeous."
No, but girls like me sometimes.
Yeah, well, you're very twinkly and warm and affable, and you've got an
innocence about you.
People all love that.
I don't work out. I'm a weak man. You know that, Dennis.
Well, listen, you and I were on the Mount Olympus of weakness.
And not just physically.
No, no, and everywhere.
And every single way.
So, um, I told the guy that, and he said he couldn't do anything except for the
physical bar.
But I don't know if he was the best trainer in any way.
He was smoking a butt the whole time.
No, that's not good.
That's just a joke.
He was a big guy.
But I told him, I said, "Look, I don't want to be big like you.
You know, I don't want veins.
I have no use for that in my arms, you know?
Or abs.
I don't want abs.
I don't know quite what they are.
All I know is they were invented around the 80s.
And I don't even know what you do when you get them.
You know what I mean?
Because you've got to wear a shirt, you know?
You go to work and go, "Hey, you want to see these things on my belly?"
And I was like, "No."
But I told the guy, I said, "All I'm here, I'm here for one reason and one
reason only.
I want to have one hot ass."
Norm, was this a little Paul Newman going on down there, right?
You were more handsome.
Yeah, you were handsome.
What the f*** happened?
Anyway, no, I did a Weekend Update.
Have you seen Paul Newman lately?
You do look better.
I know that in this day, nobody's gonna change.
You won't ever leave.
On my mind again, I'm still not tired of it.
Can't make you want me.
And I may act okay.
Say things will stay the same.
Say them all out.
Look at those shoulders.
Ah, strong back.
You've got a beautiful ass.
Yeah.
No, I wouldn't mind a piece of that.