Name: Norm Macdonald's Perfect Joke
Uploaded: 2024-08-30T13:55:39.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald's Perfect Joke' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald's Perfect Joke' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-30. Transcript available.

You look for jokes that have the same setup as the punchline.
You know what I'm talking about?
Yeah, I said the perfect joke would be if the punchline and the setup were
almost identical.
Yeah.
Julia Roberts told reporters this week that her marriage to Lyle Lovett has
been over for some time.
The key moment, she said, came when she realized that she was Julia Roberts and
that she was married to Lyle Lovett.
Christy Brinkley told reporters this week that her marriage to Billy Joel was
over long before their divorce.
The key moment, she said, came when she realized that she was Christy Brinkley
and that she was married to Billy Joel.
According to an obscure 14th century law, British Army Captain James Hewitt
could be hanged for having an affair with Princess Diana.
The punishment for having sex with Princess Diana is death.
The punishment for having sex with Princess Anne is having sex with Princess
Anne.
A new development in the O.J. Simpson civil trial this week.
According to sworn testimony, Nicole Brown Simpson had told her therapist that
she was afraid of getting beaten by O.J. Simpson.
Asked why he didn't report this earlier, the therapist said,
I was afraid of getting beaten by O.J. Simpson.
Our top story tonight comes from the O.J. Simpson civil trial, where this week
it was revealed that in his first interview with police, Simpson had refused to
take a lie detector test.
His reason? It detects lies.
When I was a kid, my dad would tell me that this man was a gold medal decathlete,
why the greatest athlete in the world.
And now, I have to tell my kid that this man is a man.
A labor department task force says it will crack down on sweatshops in New York's
Chinatown, where employees work 90-hour weeks for as little as 75 cents an hour.
A spokesman for the sweatshop owner said, quote, that's all we can afford to
pay.
This is a sweatshop.
We make sweat.
18-year-old Julie Wozchak will be going to Paris after winning an essay contest
sponsored by the Dayton Daily News.
She won for her essay, which was entitled,
Why I Want to Go to Paris with Some Old Guy from the Daily Dayton News.
Dayton Daily News.
A three-year-old Texas boy remains in fair condition after being assaulted by
the family's pet cougar.
No one knows why the attack occurred, but, hey, how about because their pet is
a cougar?
Rap star Hammer is suing the Los Angeles Police Department after he and his entourage
were mistakenly handcuffed by police.
The most shocking part of this story, Hammer has an entourage.
Painting that depicts a large rat sucking at the breast of the Blessed Virgin
Mary was removed from a high school art display due to complaints by local
residents.
The artist blamed the complaints on a lack of art education,
while I blame the complaints on the fact that it was a painting of a large rat
sucking the breast of the Blessed Virgin Mary.
This guy died, Jerry Rubin, and he was a yippie.
Yes.
Not a hippie, but a yippie.
I remember my dad going, who is that, a goddamn hippie or a yippie?
Yippie, Jerry Rubin died last week.
Oh, I'm sorry.
That should read, uh, Yippie, Jerry Rubin died last week.
Sorry about that.
I'm sorry.
My mistake completely.
Just, I didn't read it right.
Okay.