Name: Miller Time
Uploaded: 2017-09-11T15:30:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Miller Time' from Conner O'Malley on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-09-11. Transcript available. this is a movie about a smart boy. shot and edited by Marty Schousboe.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Miller Time' from Conner O'Malley on Comedy Buff. Published 2017-09-11. Transcript available. this is a movie about a smart boy. shot and edited by Marty Schousboe.

It's like Gorbachev and Ho Chi Minh sweating it out over the round table in
Paris, right?
What language? What language? Maybe I speak it.
It's like Oingo Boingo and Tim Burton hanging out together, right, babe?
It's like Monica Lewinsky and Oliver North hanging out,
talking to Kierkegaard about Sputnik, right, babe?
And the answer, my friend, is just blowing in the wind, babe.
My name is Corey Mason, and I'm a late 1980s Dennis Miller Times Square
impersonator.
I walk around Times Square dressed as Dennis Miller from the late 1980s.
I pose for pictures with tourists, and I do accept tips, of course. I can't
charge.
It's like Michael Jackson and Bowser from Sha Na Na.
I got hanging out with Kierkegaard, smoking Maui Waui, doing Sputnik, am I
right?
A huge swath of people just don't know who he is, especially the tourists that
I meet.
So it's confusing, it's really hard, and it's very frustrating for me.
I'm Dennis Miller. I'm a Dennis Miller impersonator. I take photos for tips.
If they do know Dennis Miller, they don't know the Dennis Miller from the era I'm
doing him.
They know the goatee Dennis Miller with the short hair.
They don't know the clean-shaven, long-haired Dennis Miller. It's pretty
confusing.
I'm a late 80s Dennis Miller.
You are American or?
I'm American, yeah.
Ah, this is my name, Dennis Miller, okay.
Yeah, Dennis Miller, yeah.
I don't know, no one, I'm a late 80s Dennis Miller. You know Dennis Miller?
Yeah, I think that's maybe the problem.
Every day is a struggle.
I would, I would say every day is the worst day.
How you doing? You want to take a picture?
Cool.
But, you know what they say, what makes you sick makes you stronger.
And, um, I'm sick to my stomach the whole, whole day.
And, uh, I'm filled with this deep anger and I want to, I want to take it out
on someone.
I'm sick of myself.
I want to, I want to be dead.
It's like a Kierkegaard.
You know about, uh, Pizzagate? Have you ever heard about that?
No.
It's, it's messed up.
Pizzagate's messed up.
God damn it.
God fucking damn it.
I got, I got a nice place.
I met this guy Brian once.
He saw me and he really, he's fallen in love with me and my work and he's
encouraging me.
He's my agent and manager and he, he also adopted me as his son.
Brian made his fortune off of introducing the fidget spinner to Israel.
He said I was the first guy who brought it there.
He owns this building and he lets me stay down here.
And I'm, I'm so, a thousand thank yous.
A thousand, I'm so grateful.
I accidentally drank some water at a wave pool.
So I had diarrhea and I, uh, uh, had messed myself and he offered me, so he
said come back
and use his shower.
And, uh, uh, we began training.
He offered me, uh, to live in his basement.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
You can't.
You can't.
I can't.
You can't.
And I make sure that he's in tip top shape and then I run him through the
Dennis Miller impression until he has it perfectly.
Hey, tchotchke.
You look like Marilyn Monroe had a one night stand with Gorbachev.
Better.
Better.
Again.
I have, like, ten friends and they're all high school singers.
So I invite them over to my basement.
I buy them beer.
And we make him do the Dennis Miller impression and we throw meat at him.
It's fun.
Brian's actually got some really big plans for me.
Um, he set up a pitch with me at Fox News.
They need somebody who could take over for Sean Hannity of Bill O'Reilly.
And I think that he could, now you can do it.
I believe in Mason.
I think one day he's going to be the most famous celebrity in the world.
Hey, my name's Corey Mason.
I have a meeting at, uh, Fox for a TV show.
Why don't you just need a total ID?
Uh, I don't have one on me.
Alright.
But, uh, it should be in there.
Corey Mason, my manager, he set it up.
He said it just, uh, that it should be in the system.
You're going to pitch a show?
Yeah.
It's a Dennis Miller, uh, show.
It'd be me as Dennis Miller for, like, uh, like two hours on, uh, on that late
80s Dennis Miller.
So who are you supposed to meet with at the point?
Um, I think, uh, Sean Hannity?
Hey Brian, I'm down here.
The Fox News building in New York City.
I'm down here.
Yeah, no, it's not in the system.
I don't have a photo ID.
Cause I got taken away.
Cause I had six flags last year.
I assaulted someone.
What do you want me to do?
Brian, you're fucking me over here.
I'm sorry.
I got, hold on.
All right.
I'm trying to do business with you guys too.
It's fucking bullshit.
Fuck.
To be honest with you, uh, I hate doing it.
I wish I could do something else with my life, but I can't.
I'm just drawn to it.
Um, I hate going out there.
I hate talking to people.
People hate talking to me.
Um, I hate the wig.
Kind of don't even like Dennis Miller.
But ultimately the reason I do it is I like being with my friends.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.