Name: Endorphin Port
Uploaded: 2021-07-05T14:58:23.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Endorphin Port' from Conner O'Malley on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Endorphin Port' from Conner O'Malley on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-05. Transcript available.

We need a new place, a new place where you can
You can do whatever you want, a new place called Endorphin Port
It's a new computer place that's gonna be absolutely beautiful
Fucking computer's bullshit, it's fucking sick
It's not cool anymore, it's not fun, it's not fun to be on the fucking computer
They changed everything about it, it used to be so cool
We need a new place on the computer
Where we can be epic mine soldiers
Who live by the Assassin's Creed
And do the most epic of legendary behavior
I'm talking about a place that's not a website
It's not a website
It's a different reality
It's a whole new world where we can
Be whoever the F we want to be
There will be no more fucking racism, no more sexism
Because everybody will get rid of their bodies
No one will be judged if they got a pussy, tit, or ass
Everybody will design their own avatar
There will be no excuse
It is up to you to do what you want to do
A true fucking paradise
You want to be golem?
Six foot tall, jacked in a huge fucking cock and a ass like the monster Incredibles?
Go ride a fucking head, buddy!
Get it out of your fucking heads if this is not happening
I'm going to make this happen
I'm going to make this happen
I'm going to make this happen
I'm going to make this happen
This place sucks and our bodies are disgusting
We need to shit, we need to eat, we need to fuck
This is bad
This is all badness is traced from the body
The body gets sick
Fuck!
We have to spend time at the hospital
We have to groom it
The tits aren't big enough
The ass is too small
The cock's small, the balls are big
The body is bad, the body is not good
The body is bad, the body is not good
This is a new world
We've got a new world, we've got to exit this one
We're getting rid of our bodies, we're sick
We don't care what it's about
We need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need, we need,
we need a new place
We need a new place that's not a website
We can cut God out of this equation
We can create our own heaven here on earth
I cannot do it alone, I have tried, I need American money
Please!
So, let's go.
We are home.
Earth with no rules just right.
Water will be replaced with Sprite.
Mental soldiers in a war.
With no enemy.
Digitally chilling with your boy Jeremy.
An everlasting family.
Virtual uncles.
Virtual aunts.
Digital polo.
Digital pants.
We are the protagonists.
We are the heroes.
Praised by crowds of ones and zeros.
No sick.
No lonely.
No complain.
Fuck like Superman.
With an iron brain.
This is the final evolution of humanity.
A non-religious digital Christianity.
We are free of pain.
We are free of hate.
Enter the endorphin port.
And don't be late.
you