Name: RAP WORLD
Uploaded: 2024-10-24T16:32:59.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'RAP WORLD' from Conner O'Malley on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'RAP WORLD' from Conner O'Malley on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-24. Transcript available.

RAP WORLD

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It's a war- *Dramatic music*
Woo!
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These are some of the most memorable nights of our lives.
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Let's go crazy tonight.
You fuck fuck!
You don't do that shit to me again!
Owning a hundred Corvettes.
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to my dome. That was fucking good. Thanks man. How's this going on? Dude, do
you believe this shit? We have to fucking run the movie even if nobody's here.
The movie? What's that? That's what's about to pop the fuck off. We're going
over to my guy Casey's house. We're about to lay down some fucking tracks. Some
hardcore fucking, we got a, we got a, we got a, we got a cool bop Pennsylvania
rap album inside of our hearts. It's got to come out. We have a way of
experience
or like expressing ourselves through music that you're about to see that I don't
think it's anything like anything you've seen.
I'm a cup of top, hop a top. I'm the white M&M. Watch out.
My first, my first kiss was in a movie theater.
You were talking kind of seriously about like what this album needs to be.
You look through this looking glass and it's like, if you're sitting in the
audience out there, that's what reality is.
But if you are up here, it's like you can see that it is all construction.
That it's all like, not
uh, real. Like, that it's
invented from somebody's mind.
And I kind of want this album
to have different themes about like
credit card debt and like
uh, you know, who are the ones that are
projecting reality into, into the world.
Say this is my penis.
I do this. I finish being.
And then I wipe it down like this.
And then I put it away.
So it's on my shirt.
So you do that?
Cover it in piss?
The spots?
This, just the spots on the bottom.
Wrapping in the grease trap.
Wrapping in the grease trap.
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
What do you want to put it in the dash?
Yeah.
Everything is aligned so perfectly
for us to get this album done
and change our lives once and forever.
For now.
Yeah.
You know?
Dude, who knows when your mom
will be in town again?
My mom, what?
Right.
We'll use your house to record.
Out of town?
Out of, yeah, I fucked up.
I'm sorry.
No, she's out of town,
but she's getting a surgery.
But I'm saying she's...
What's a surgery she's getting?
She's getting her ears more
separated from her head
because she doesn't like
the way that she looks
from straight on.
She do...
Unfortunately, her ears
are so close to her head.
From the side, you can't tell.
Oh, look at that house, man.
I really don't think
that I want to
or ever be able to own a house.
Well, that's because
you'll be owning a mansion.
And, dude,
that's why you read my mind, man.
Yeah.
Just like, yeah.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Whoa.
Who are you calling?
Jason.
What?
Why?
So that he can
have food, too.
Where is he?
Why does he want to?
He's at my house.
He's making the beets.
What?
Yeah.
He's making the beets.
Dude, that...
I didn't know about that.
Yeah, I don't know.
I just thought it would be
cool to have somebody
making the beets.
Is it a problem?
What's up?
I'm setting up
the studio right now
for Casey and Matt.
I hope they like it.
It's just like
quick-ass setup.
Computer right here.
Brand new.
With my editing software
on there.
We've got the PC tower.
We've got the mic,
which they'll be using
to wrap on.
Wait.
Let me show you
the best part.
Hey.
Check this out.
Green much?
This is going to be
super fun.
Had my caffeine,
so I'm ready to
stay up all night.
Alright.
See you soon.
Welcome to McDonald's.
What did you order?
Yeah, hi.
I'm sorry.
Cheeseburger?
No tomato?
One cheeseburger,
no tomato.
Oh, McFish?
Oh, and a McFish?
Whitefish?
McFish, yeah.
Oh, the McChicken
or the Mc...
Uh, the filet...
And what do you want?
A 10-Pieces McNugget?
Can I get
a 10-Piece McNuggets?
Sure.
Barbecue sauce with that?
Jason wants to know
if they have mystic sauce.
Oh, do you have mystic sauce?
No.
Oh, okay.
Uh, and then, uh,
yeah, that's it.
And that'll be 1936.
Alright, thank you.
You're welcome.
Dude, he did it.
It's a joke.
Like, dude.
You tell me when was the last time
you went to a fucking drive-thru
and didn't have a funny,
like, prank happen.
That's, like, what drive-thrus are for.
What's the problem?
Fucking serious, man.
What is the problem?
That shit was funny.
It's like, I like him.
Like, he's cool.
Like, don't get me wrong.
Like, I chill with him.
I smoke with him.
I know his sister from high school.
But on the, like,
on the fucking real,
like, to humiliate me
in a public way,
unacceptable.
Absolutely unacceptable.
Okay.
Okay.
He's sorry.
They used to have
the Reese's Pieces McFlurry.
Tootsie Pop.
Red.
Cherry.
Cherry strawberry.
Delicious.
This shit was good as a kid.
Turns out it's delicious
as an adult as well.
I think they're outside right now.
What's up, Casey?
Is she gone all weekend?
Um, yeah, she's gone all weekend.
So we get to play
ourselves the whole weekend?
Yeah, so while my mom's away,
we may play.
But I'm excited
we got McDonald's.
Mm-hmm.
What's Matt doing?
Matt's just finishing up
the cigarette.
Is he okay?
He looks kind of like,
he looks kind of sad.
I got the biggest
fucking goose bump
last night.
You don't know
what the island?
You asked me to catch up.
Yeah.
Catch you, bro.
They didn't have no mystic sauce.
Did you listen to my,
to what I made?
Dude, I'll be honest with you
and I don't want to be
aggressive towards you
and I say this
with all respect and love
but I'm really worried
about you hurting
everything about this project
and I don't think
that you're going to help
at all.
Like, no disrespect,
no offense.
Please don't take offense
to that.
I'm not.
Why would I?
I'm really like,
don't want you involved
at all.
Like, per se.
So what?
You guys want to go
acapella with it?
Sound like shit?
Not that Casey would
sound like shit
because he would
sound amazing
basically no matter
who's working on it.
Because Casey asked me
to do this shit
and he is the most,
he's basically
the leader of the group.
Well, Casey didn't know
that I actually have
like, recording stuff
on my own.
Oh, really?
What are you talking about?
Are you three loops?
I'm going to be honest
with you
and kind of let you know
that I don't respect
you.
Putting negative energy
in this shit
before we even, like...
I feel like you're...
Oh.
I gots my driver's license.
Dude.
Oh.
Oh.
We're good to go
on Beats.
Like, I have Beats.
See, that is old school
and that might have worked
in the 80s or whatever,
but we're in a new era
right now.
Yo.
Yo.
Yo.
Yo.
Like, we don't really...
I mean, that sounds good to me,
but I feel like...
I mean, that is really good.
But you don't want to...
Do you want to just listen
to what I have here?
Do you hear one of mine?
Because these are good.
We could mix them all together, too.
What? We could mix all the beats together. You all want to hear some of mine?
Of course. Alright. A little suspicious of this. Let me just show you and here
we go.
Dude, I literally thought this was like dripping.
Dude, you're a genius. You are a genius.
Literally, I'm so sorry for everything that we said. Yes, dude, dude, dude.
I'm repping like me. I don't need to drink this. Sprint, please.
We need to get this shit on the mic right now.
Wait, dude, wait. I just got something so fun to show you guys.
No messing up the pills. No touching the bed.
Dude, I don't know if we should be messing up.
Oh my god.
End it right ass now.
Do you ever think about that sometimes?
I don't. I don't have a reason to.
No.
Yo. That's what I'm talking about.
Jessica Simpson.
Jessica Simpson.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Yes.
Yes.
Yo.
Yo.
Yo.
What the fuck are you doing?
Yo.
Yo.
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck are you doing?
I'm sorry dude, don't.
You don't smoke in here.
I can kinda pedal on this.
Yo.
I didn't know.
Dude.
I'll take your picture.
Jesus Christ.
Poor man.
Come on man.
Listen.
Cigarettes seduced me.
Here's my problem with lingerie.
It's only gonna stay on for not right long.
It's very expensive for us.
They should make lingerie that's, well they have edible lingerie.
But it's more expensive than regular lingerie.
And that's got good protein in it.
But I'd honestly rather see a girl in a bikini.
Like a bikini is much more sexually attractive to me.
Cause they can swim.
Buffalo.
I haven't been swimming in like four years.
That's a damn shame that you're afraid of the water now because.
I'm not afraid of the water.
I'm telling you right now I'm not afraid of water.
To be honest, you scared the fuck out of me with how fast you swim.
Is it true?
That's a natural talent but I don't.
You know.
For real.
It was freaky.
You should watch it.
You should come on.
We should go swimming sometime.
Wait a minute.
Let's start out indoors and then we'll move up to darker and darker waters.
I cannot wait for you guys to meet my son Jacob.
We can't wait either.
It's really good.
You're so special to us and like your kids even more special.
And I'm like a really good father.
She found out.
She told me that she was pregnant.
I broke the glass table.
I left the room.
Then a day later I came back with an engagement ring.
I said if we're going to do this, we're going to do this right.
So she started crying.
Everything's okay.
We get engaged.
All of a sudden you're gaming too much.
I don't think you know how to take a shower right.
When it comes to women, you got to take the reins, man.
What?
That reminds me of something I want to talk to you guys about.
What?
So, you know I've been talking to somebody, right?
Uh.
Kira?
Right, right, right.
And let's just say things have been progressing pretty quick.
What's up, Kira?
Guess where I'm at right now.
Bathroom.
This is Casey's mom's house.
But, um, I just wanted to check in.
I was hoping, because we don't have a camera of my own, that this would be fun
for a wedding day.
If we could play this at the wedding day.
Because, let me just say, like, I have some shit planned for tonight at the
party.
That might change the course of our lives, as we know it.
Um.
I just love you so much.
I know I haven't said that, or he even let me say that yet.
But, I love you so much.
And, like, as I go through this life, like, I just feel like, sometimes I feel
like a sheep.
Like a smart ass sheep that is lost.
And yet, there's a shepherd out there who's sexy as fuck.
And that's you.
I love you.
I like you.
I want you.
And I need you.
I'll see you soon.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Yeah!
Look.
This is it.
This is the time that we are here to shine, okay?
Get this on fucking camera.
Go right ahead.
Cause my man fucking Casey's here.
Is about to lay down the hot fire.
Let's get the track going.
Come on.
Let's go.
What the fuck?
Go.
Give me one second.
Alright.
What's going on?
Should the monitor be with me?
Maybe the monitor is...
Oh, the monitor?
You know, like, onto its...
Don't do all it's on, though.
Okay.
Are you sure?
I don't think so.
Should we start it over?
Uhhh...
Oh!
Oh, I'm so excited!
Oh, shit!
God!
Ow!
Yo, Chronicles of Riddick!
My dick is 