Name: Bill Burr _ Adjusting To My New Boyfriend! [Advice]
Uploaded: 2022-05-22T23:23:36.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr _ Adjusting To My New Boyfriend! [Advice]' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr _ Adjusting To My New Boyfriend! [Advice]' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-22. Transcript available.

All right. Advice for a young lady. Hey, Billington. Very original one this
week. People coming up
with different ways to butcher my name. I'm enjoying these. I am in need of
some advice
for a young lady. And I love that some women are actually piping in despite the
fact how much I
talk about hockey on this podcast. What are you saying? Women don't like hockey?
Yes. This is
what I'm saying. I'm an 18-year-old high school senior entering my freshman
year of college.
I got into my dream school with a scholarship. Do you know how bad I wish that
I did that?
I wish I studied in high school. Anyways, and I'm moving out of my shithole
town and everything
finally seems to be making up for all the shit that I went through in high
school.
One of my really good friends is going to the same university as I am and we're
renting an apartment
together. However, my friend is an 18-year-old straight guy and I am a straight
girl. Uh-oh.
The gender thing could add a whole other level of difficulty on top of
adjusting to living with
a new person in a new city away from everything I grew up around. We've been
friends practically
since we were in diapers. We can talk, jam out to 70s rock and watch the Chappelle
show for hours and
we've never had issues with weirdness before. But I do understand that college
introduces a lot of
firsts and I'm not going to lie. I'm a little nervous that a few too many, oh,
having a few too many
drinks during a welcome weekend could lead to some inappropriateness. Weirder
things, weirder things
have happened. Um, I don't want to do anything to jeopardize our nearly two
decade long friendship.
So this kind of sounds like you're a little attracted to this guy. If you're
this worried
that something's going to happen or maybe you're 18, you're going from your
parents' house to
all of a sudden living with the guy. Maybe that's what it is. I'm going to
guess that that's what
it is. So anyway, so my question, what tips do you have to stop anyone from
stepping over the line
with the male slash female roommate? Also in general, what tips do you have for
living with
the roommate? Nia's opinion on this would be epic. Thanks and fuck you. Yeah,
that was Nia's great
fuck you last week. Um, you know what? Maybe this Wednesday I will do another Nia
log and I'll read
this one. But right now I'll just give you my own ignorant, um, thought on it.
Oh, wait, wait,
by the way, there's, there's a PS to this, everybody. There's an epilogue, just
like the street
to San Francisco. P.S. Might I add that we've both been in various
relationships while friends.
He often asked me for girl advice and I asked him for guy advice. He currently
has a girlfriend
who I really like and am friends with, but they are breaking up in June when
she leaves to study
abroad. I am currently single. Oh yeah, you guys are going to bang within
fucking eight minutes.
Within eight minutes of your, of your, your college career. Um,
all right. So basically what you want to do, you're not asking me, should you,
or should
you not move in with this guy? You're going to move in with this guy. So, um,
what you're
really saying is basically, how do I not fuck this guy? Well, I can only do it
from the male
perspective, which is what I would do is every morning before I ever even
walked out into the
living room. It was, I would rub one out to try to get that fucking, you know,
urge out of me.
I think what you need to do is sit down and talk with the guy and just say,
listen, we have a great
friendship, but I don't want to ruin this. I know we're moving in together and
everything, but, um,
you know, obviously we're going to be in close quarters, you know, sharing a
bathroom and blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah. You, you know what you have to do? You have to lay down
the law if that's what
you really want to do. But if you actually like this guy, like I think you
might, um, if you actually
like him, like him and think you could actually, did I just say that if you
like, like, I mean,
like, like him, like him, like him. Do you know what I mean? Do you? I mean,
God, you guys,
this could be the one. Um, if you actually like this dude like that, then you
should not move in with
him. You should be in a separate apartment. And, uh, that way, if you start
dating him,
you don't immediately start by living with one another, you know,
that's just too far down the road. So what I would do if I was you is I would
sit down and talk to him.
Okay. If you don't like this guy like this and you really want to preserve your
friendship,
I would sit down and have a talk to him or talk with him and just say, listen,
we cannot get drunk
and make out and, and fucking round second base slide into third. We can't, we
can't do this shit.
All right. Okay. I'm telling you that right now.
It's not happening or whatever you got to say, or if you actually really like
this guy,
um, you got to tell him that just say, I think, ah, maybe I like you a little
more
than just friends. I don't know. I don't know if this is just a little phase. I
have no idea,
but if that's the case, I don't want to move in with you. You know, does that
make sense? You know
what? You're right. There's going to be a neolog this week. Everybody fuck this.
I'm too dumb to
answer this one. This one involves feelings that I don't understand. All right.
So basically that's
the podcast for this week, everybody. Um, once again, I want to thank Emerson
college for giving
me, uh, that award. And I want to thank Steven Wright for bringing me up and
saying all those
nice things that he did. And, uh, lastly, but not leastly, I'm going to be, uh,
I'm going to be at
the Mirage Casino in Las Vegas this Friday and Saturday night. Then I have a
week off and then
I'm going to do a nice tour through Jersey, uh, Maryland and, uh, Baltimore. I'll
be at the
Count Basie theater on May 29th with the teen idol sensation fresh off his hit
half hour special
on comedy central. Um, we're going to be the Count Basie theater in Red Bank,
New Jersey
on June 30th. I will be in Baltimore, Maryland. Sorry. I don't have my name of
the theater in front
of me on the 31st of June of May, also known as June 1st. Or is there a 34?
There is a 31st,
May 31st. I will be at Eastern Pennsylvania. And then on June 1st, I'll be in
Atlantic city for two
shows. So if you enter around that area, why don't you come on out, you know,
come out to some shows
and, uh, hopefully I'll make you laugh your ass off there. Oh, Hey, I got to
thank that crowd that
came out to the bottle rock, uh, bottle rocket, uh, music festival. I did a
show at four in the
afternoon while a band was playing right next door. And, uh, I fought through
the, that baseline that
was crushing all of my jokes and the level of patience that that crowd showed
was, was phenomenal.
Um, all right. So here we go. That's the podcast for this week. Go fuck
yourselves. Don't take any
shit from anybody. And, uh, and the last little bit of advertising here, ladies
and gentlemen,
now that the show is over, go sign up for your free account with personal
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And also now that the show is over, go also go set up your free trial of e-voice
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right now. All right.
Have a wonderful week. And, uh, I'll talk to you about Vegas next week. All
right, go Bruins.
Uh, I have no hate towards Toronto. All right. Okay. So I don't care when you
send me your obnoxious
stuff. I know you guys are just excited because you haven't won anything since
1967,
you know, which is rough. Does anybody deserve that? No, except for Montreal,
Canadian fans. All right.
All right. See ya.