Name: Bill Burr & Joe Rogan On Unattainable Beauty Standard Outrage!
Uploaded: 2022-06-21T01:07:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Joe Rogan On Unattainable Beauty Standard Outrage!' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Joe Rogan On Unattainable Beauty Standard Outrage!' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-06-21. Transcript available.

you know the best ones like all most of my friends we all got busted for
drinking and
driving the best one was a buddy of mine uh they read his it was like you know
approximately four
in the morning we noticed a maroon vw fox blowing its horn trying to pass on
the right
we pulled the defendant over uh after repeatedly asking the defendant to stay
in the car he got
out of the car threw his keys at my feet and uh repeatedly stated lock me up i'm
fucked up
and this was funny was my buddy was a good-looking guy and the the judge was a
was a woman and when
the guy read that you know locked me up i'm fucked up and he wasn't the
brightest guy and he just kind
of he went like he's like put his head down like that and he was you know a
little pound puppy
fucking looking dude and uh she uh she she gave him like a lighter sentence and
because he was good
i think so yeah i mean it all plays in it that's why ugly people are
complaining so much
like they they won't take the time to develop a fucking personality write some
jokes do what the
rest of us have to do like i don't get mad at brad pitt you know how come he
fucking because he's
fucking beautiful i'm a fucking bald red-headed male i know where i am in the
pecking order and
some of these fucking people who are complaining right now who are mad that
beautiful people get
treated differently i understand racially speaking but you're not going to do
the beautiful thing and
then there's another thing they try to say well society tries to you know they're
the ones that
fucking like you know like i love when like there's a supermodel like this is
like an impossible
standard of beauty to try and live up to yeah yeah yeah that's why she's on the
cover of a magazine
she's that level beautiful and you're going to try and sit there and tell me
that that was learned
well here's the thing that's only women because when you see jason momoa
playing aquaman you don't hear
men saying that's an impossible standard of beauty that we have to no i just
make fun of that fucking
stupid thing he has to hang on to
i don't care how much you can kick my ass that is the dumbest you should be on
a fucking cereal box
it's a trident for years they had a problem like with aquaman it's like he's in
the ocean
human beings are on earth like what do we like i have to see that fucking movie
what are they going to be is it going to be like japanese people like finning
he's going to save sharp he goes underwater is that his skin like well the
bumps what is that
is that a suit doesn't water get in the gloves you think that that have to be
all one piece right
yeah that'd be annoying and shit is any worse than water in your gloves well
look it looks like it
catches them like a water catcher like not just like water gets in the gloves
it's like a funnel
he looks like a stripper at a bachelorette party he does a good one like you
paid money
you got a good one guy dieted down for that um yes he did and he got all the
abs
so he's he's better than i am oh he has but this is this is the fall look
different one
yep the fall look this is when he's in the black sea you know what i mean he
wants to fucking
gets cold yeah did you see what's uh going on in the uk the uk has banned
advertisements that uh
feature uh unobtainable bodies there's a i i retweeted it i tweeted it recently
the way they eat fish
chips over there that's gonna be most of advertising well they had uh these ads
for
summer bodies you know you see a girl in a bikini and they're now making it
illegal to
why can't you aspire to that like i look at that aquaman guy that makes me want
to go to the gym
i don't be like oh you know he's got a full head of hair look at like you got
to make me feel better
it's because the people that complain who are the people that complain the
people that complain are the
people that don't want to work to be that lady they don't want to work to get
that kind of a
body and they want to they just want to not see it they don't want to need they
don't want to go to
the subway and see a body that they're never going to have yeah i saw i saw an
actress complaining
one time because the studio told them that she she needed to lose 15 pounds i'm
like you can't drop
15 to star in a movie i mean what what carrot can they specifically carrots
some veggies in your diet
what do they have to dangle in front of you to go to the fucking gym like the
rest of us like
i literally like because they always say oh guys don't have to deal with that
it's like yeah we do
of course yes we do like had to deal with that i know gain 20 pounds dude
forget about him if just
having five lines in a fucking movie if i am north of 171 72 pounds the fucking
tweets i get
hey billy booze bag hey billy bitch tits
hey fat freckles all of this shit that i get like i know like they sit there
and they like
they have like uh they're acting like like fucking preteens where everything is
just everything's
about them and the whole fucking world gives a shit celebrities with their
fucking political views
is the funniest thing ever it's like all you're you're not you're not making
anybody change their
mind politically i feel like i need to fucking speak up it's like no you can't
have the spotlight
on you enough that's all you're doing because all you're doing with that
bullshit is you first of
all you're alienating half the fucking people that are going to go see whatever
the fuck you're in
and then secondly you're just getting on the radar of lunatics in white vans
with two seats
that are looking up how to fucking build pipe bombs like that that's that's the
fallout
it's like the jerk when he goes average run of the mill son of a bitch you know
he picks steve martin
the idea that a girl shouldn't be asked to lose weight to look hot for a movie
is fucking crazy
because that's what you're playing you're playing a hot woman that's part of
the job and there's
millions everybody's in shape i remember fucking seeing uh i used to do a bit
about this i saw
uh ben stiller in in in meet the fuckers or something there was a scene where
he had to have
his shirt off in the pool he had fucking abs in a comedy yeah because that's
because you were seeing
the influence of the fucking internet you know what i mean it was just like you
know it gets in your
head people just fucking trashing you like i already knew i was unsightly but i
didn't realize how many
things that people didn't enjoy about me until i got on the internet i was like
wow i never noticed
that about myself so um yeah i don't have um look if somebody really has like a
fucking eating disorder
you know i feel like fucking obese i have sympathy for those people but if you're
15 pounds 20 pounds
overweight i mean fucking you know what did he drink some fucking smoothies
these women that are playing
these roles have to understand first of all that part of the reason why you got
that role is not just
because of your acting ability but also because you're pretty you have a
beautiful face you were
born with it you didn't even work at it and then on top of that you're supposed
to be playing a
beautiful person in the movie they would like you to not be fat well there's
also there's also
discrimination there's millions of dollars at stake that could be lost so i
always feel like your job
is even if you look like me is to show up on time knowing your lines in the
best possible shape
you could get yourself in that's that's the role that's the pro even if i'm
just playing anybody
what if you're arty lang what if you're already laying and you're supposed to
play the guy that's
smoking cigarettes and you're the brother-in-law that's drunk all the time then
your job still
look that way yeah your job's looking that way yeah her job is looking at the
hot woman that everybody
wants to if they're telling you you have to lose weight and you're a beautiful
woman it's because
they want to make you more attractive it's there's not like discrimination
there's a reason they want a
better product oh they want to make money yeah they want to try to make a
better product and uh
i'll tell you another thing too like really that those both male and female
like those beautiful
people at that level it's like they're aliens like i i've done a couple of
movies i did a movie one time
and i remember uh it was a scene we were in a car and the star of the movie was
holding onto the
steering wheel and i was like like i never thought this ever about a woman i
was like her forearms are
gorgeous i was looking at him like i was like those forearms are perfect but i
didn't make me when i
went to stockholm sweden how beautiful the people were there i was going down
the street pointing at
guys with my wife going near look at that guy look at that that guy like he's
like an accountant
walking down the street he's like does he know if he came over here he'd be
starring in movies
and that's not all the sweden by the way that's like just when you're in stockholm
that's like
they're manhattan so all the beautiful people but i mean i went into a couple i
went to this
maggot plate went and bought like a a magazine or something like that when i
was over there and the
woman behind the counter was like a 11 here but she was working at a magazine
stand so that was her
energy like hey how you doing i'm working in a magazine stand my dream hasn't
come true yet you're
just looking at him like you you could sign with uh who was that big uh
modeling agency yeah like that
all like cindy crawford and all them were worth back in the day the vikings it's
viking blood they
the best looking people they they went over there and raped and pillaged and
all that good dna is
left there they caught the best women they kept them alive killed everybody
else oh is that what happened
oh yeah i don't know what happened vikings but like that's why they're so big
beautiful oh yeah no
they're super tall that's one of the funniest things ever when you go over to
like uh the uh what do they
call those the nordic and then scandinavia is within the nordic countries i
always have to remind
myself of that like you go over there it was the funniest fucking trick because
they're so goddamn
tall there would be kids almost my height whose voices hadn't changed yet and
they had the mentality
of like an 11 year old they'd make no except they were speaking that i said how's
it here just had it
when they were talking and their voice hadn't changed yet and i was just
sitting there laughing my ass off
going these are like yeah they like everybody was like uh like six three six
four six five like rail
thin with their european pants