Name: Hilarious Argument Between Bill Burr And Nia!
Uploaded: 2022-07-21T23:07:48.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Hilarious Argument Between Bill Burr And Nia!' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-07-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Hilarious Argument Between Bill Burr And Nia!' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-07-21. Transcript available.

um but either way let's bring in the birthday girl hey Nia come on in gotta
bring in the birthday girl over here um let me try to find something that she
can relate to NBA oh Bill not asking you to rant for 20 minutes oh there we go
the lovely near everybody happy birthday to you happy birthday to you whoo
happy
birthday dear Nia happy birthday to you yeah sorry that was beautiful in its
own
sad way um how'd you like your cupcake I loved it there you go you made me a
cupcake my favorite kind of cupcake too which is very sweet you taste it all
right
put a little candle put a little candle candle in it and yeah that was very
nice
and you didn't mush it in my face I did it all right well happy birthday a
whole
bunch more that you made so you know well that's the thing all my rest day on
your
P's and Q's sweetheart well the thing is is all my recipes come from my mother
so
they all serve like 10 people so right well I'm that cupcake recipes are gonna
be
for like they made more than 30 yeah I stopped after I went two rounds through
what did I make was it was it was it six in a tray or eight in a tray yeah
there's
like 18 or 20 of them out there yeah well nobody makes one cupcake so yeah any
kind of
recipes gonna why don't you just make like like six six is perfect they never
think about like they don't they never think about the lonely people when they
make a cookbook well the thing is you could put the enough batter in for six
and
cook the six and then freeze the rest of your batter and just have it for the
next time you want to make cupcakes so it's not like it's a complete waste but
no
all right who's gonna give you the exact measurements for like one or two
cupcakes that's that's silly well you know what I think that'd be a great idea
for
a cookbook what for cupcakes for one no the loner the loner cookbook or like
you're
single yeah like when you're single yeah sitting there trying to do the math
you
know it serves eight it's just like I'm 22 I'm trying to make spaghetti over
here
why don't they just make but that's why you have luck but the thing is that's
why
it's good to have leftovers you freeze the shit you have it for later well it's
not it's not bad now because you can go on the internet like today I'm sitting
there looking at that fucking cane sugar and they're asking me and the bag it
says two pounds of cane sugar and they wanted a certain amount of ounces and I'm
sitting there and all I have is like a quarter cup so I go I was like how many
cups are in a pound and they're like both cups is more of a like a size yeah
not a
size what is the word like like uh they couldn't figure like it's not a weight
a
cup is not a weight it's more like a fucking handful kind of looking at like
that so what I actually did was I took out one of your little sports fucking
things that you drink out of that has ounces on the side so the protein shakes
in
yeah that works yeah well that's why that's the thing was a disaster once I got
out like a bakery exploded in there yeah flour everywhere yep mix this like
kicked on
the the countertops on the floor and dried little white puddles that's right
you're
like a little kid whenever you go I like make something you make the biggest
fucking
mess I've ever seen the kitchen is a disaster that's why I like it you've got
like stains
all over your apron you know you're sweating a little bit you're hairy you're
like slipping around in your socks in the kitchen sliding around in flour you're
all
like stressed out you're all red in the face I wasn't stressed out you weren't
stressed out this time but other times you've made stuff it's been funny that's
what I was I've learned to stay away well here's the kitchen no no here's the
thing that was that was the younger me who flipped out no I didn't flip out a
year ago
just quit going for the joke come on I'm getting better um yeah and also back
in the day I didn't
have an apron you gotta have an apron you gotta have an apron your fans are all
messy
just right on the front of them and you just keep marching forward you leave
the casualties
behind you it's fucking phenomenal um it was delicious though I really
appreciate it and your
gifts were amazing of course they were you killed it this birthday honey of
course I did and you know
you know I killed it because you always figure out what I'm gonna get you is I
just played
like I was a moron I really hate that though and can I just say I really you
drove me crazy with
that yesterday you were driving me nuts you were actually mad at me that was
the I was trying not
to be but you were really pushing my buttons you were trying to make me mad see
that's the thing
you're toying with me though huh you know exactly what I'm talking about I
emailed you something like a
month ago to say hey if you're wondering what to get me for my birthday because
I know you're busy
I know you're on the road and all this other stuff I'm trying to help you out
so I'm telling you what
I want also you know it's like I'm not like a little kid you know what I mean I'm
gonna tell you
exactly what I want to like give you lead you in the right direction what a
little kid say they what
say what they don't want well I mean you know you just there's a little kid has
a breath there you're
like a toy get out of here beat it but when you're older that's that what
happens like specific things
that you know maybe you'd like to get so you let people know my parents ask me
all the time what
do you want for your birthday what do you want for your birthday because nobody
has time to sit around
and like figure out what do you want so you know isn't that what I did this
year but that's what you
did because you took what I wanted and then you kind of riffed on it and you
got a bunch of stuff
to surround no it was wonderful but my point is you made me quite like that you
still took credit
you took what I said and then you riffed on it and I didn't actually listen to
you this year
and I from months ago and I figured out what the fuck you wanted and then you
did your usual thing
because you are an organizing you like you just you're an organized person
literally to the point
that you're organizing my shopping for what I get you now one of the great
things about giving
somebody a gift it's the surprise where they're like not a surprise when you
take me out to brunch
and you're like all right I gotta get you home because I gotta go shopping for
your birthday like
how's that supposed to make me feel I'm sitting there like uh okay this is why
this is why I did
that because you emailed me something I knew you wanted this shit yes okay now
if I just went out and
got it for you I mean why don't I just fucking even when the when the mailman
comes he hands it to me
then I throw it at you when you're sitting there takes no fucking imagination
whatsoever right so I knew you
wanted it I knew I was gonna get it for you but I'm like how the fuck is it
still a surprise that she
gets it so what I did was I acted like I wasn't and I already knew the other
things that I were gonna
I was gonna get I knew where the hell they were I waited to the last second to
get it so you thought
I was like an unthoughtful jackass and it worked like a fucking charm why would
you buy why would you
make yourself seem like you know a last minute jackass like that like why would
just to torture
me and I'll tell you what torture me because you can't just give me the gift
and be like here you
go honey you have to have some other little thing where you throw me off my
game you get me all in a
tizzy and then it's like oh wait he actually did the perfect thing why why do
you play those because
that's exactly the type of thing you accuse women of doing and you do it to me
all the time this is why
because when I don't do that you guess exactly what I'm gonna get you and it's
fucking annoying
it's fucking and I've wrapped something you already know what's in it you make
me feel like an idiot
why do you feel like an idiot just because I guess what it is you don't guess
you peek you look that
time when I came when I went Christmas shopping oh my god we really don't have
this conversation yes
we are yes we are told you yes we are not see what you brought this is when you
know you're going to
bring up a good point with your woman and she immediately starts trying to talk
over you
I do the same thing yes you do so I'm pulling up in the car you knew I was
going Christmas shopping for
you I'm getting out of the car I open the hatchback to our sweet innocent
little hybrid right I take
the bag out that has the name of the fucking store and I glanced and I glanced
over at the house and
you're standing there like a specter looking out the window my fucking heart my
heart like jolted when
i looked up you you know you had a creepy look on your face you were doing
something
i was like waving no you weren't and then you didn't see me can i show you can
i show you what
you were doing you have all right this is this is what you were doing i looked
when i i'm looking at
the house and i look up at you like this nobody can see me so what you're
sitting there looking like
some weird like stalkers that's what you were doing no i didn't yes what you
were doing you're
a spoiled brat and you you wanted to see what was in the spoiled brat yeah you
are all right you're
spoiled well it's because you spoil me oh god blaming the victim once again
victim no here's the deal
such a victim no that's why i did it i'd like to try to surprise you if i'm
going to spend all my
fucking money on on some goddamn thing here i want you to i i i i i want i want
to so tacky to throw how
much money it cost for you to get your birthday present in my face you didn't
have to say how much
it cost just by saying if i'm going to am i really going to lose this am i
going to lose this one it's my
birthday so yeah oh my god all right let's go let's get back to the side yes
over here yeah
because it's like a sport for you to figure out what the fuck i got you it's
annoying i never tried
for you to always throw me off my game you know it's a sport for me teaching
you how to use a
microphone just talk into it oh okay there you go you couldn't hear me before
well i hear you and then
you're over here no you only go over here when you imitate somebody else that's
what you do or when
you go lady yeah there you go that's all it is that's the mic technique there
you go all right
we're going to talk nba here nini the nba the nba