Name: Bill Burr & Paul Virzi On Flying 1st Class, Dumb Vocabularies & Forgetting Names!
Uploaded: 2022-08-06T07:35:42.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Paul Virzi On Flying 1st Class, Dumb Vocabularies & Forgetting Names!' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Paul Virzi On Flying 1st Class, Dumb Vocabularies & Forgetting Names!' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-06. Transcript available.

You know what I'm built for, Bill?
I'm built for first class because that's all I do now.
You're going to love that.
And I don't know if I can afford it.
But you know what?
I'm not going back.
That's so funny.
I'm not going back.
I remember that point in my career.
I'm not going back.
When I moved out here and I just said, fuck this.
I'll do business.
I'll do business as the lowest.
I was like, fuck that.
I'm flying the front of the plane.
I remember my first visa bill.
I was like, maybe I'll fly coach to this side of the Mississippi.
I tried to go first too soon.
Too soon and my fucking visa bill went from here to there.
And I was just like, all right, I can't fucking do this.
I'm probably there right now.
I'm probably in first a little too soon.
So I did tell the people.
Everybody knows you do the end zone dance on the 20 yard line.
There's no doubt to me that you're going to start flying first before you
should.
But that's what you got your wife for.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She'll come in.
She'll make your ball.
Listen, we love what you're doing on the team.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just make sure the ball's across the goal line.
I know.
Before you hold it out.
Yeah.
I'm like, Stacey, it's third and one.
I'm going over the top.
My team called me, like the people that booked me.
And she goes, Paul, I can get you in first class, but it'll be another thousand
if you
want to do it.
And I had just bought two pairs of sneakers at the mall for 600.
And I go, I just go, Stacey, you'll kill me.
Let's just do business.
That was smart.
Yeah.
Especially if you're trying to fly first class prematurely and you say words
like boughten.
Bought.
Yeah.
You just bought.
You said, I just bought.
I just bought.
And you said, I just bought in two player pairs of sneakers.
Yeah.
We're going to have to listen back, but maybe.
I thought you were talking about botany or something.
No, no.
But there's a lot of times I can't afford the first class, but when it goes up
to the ones
where they got the beds and shit, you know, they're like, ah, it's going to be
another
thousand.
It's just tough.
that shit right you liked it that i loved it that i liked it that yeah
there was a guy one time me and nia we saw him i'm gonna say we saw him but he
said you liked it
that shit and then we thought that was so funny and we just kept saying it i've
told this story
before and then we'd said it's it became like to did it i liked it at that
movie we started adding
shit to it and i was in a meeting with this agent who wanted to sign me and he
goes you know tell me
some of the movies you like and i told him a movie because you like that yeah i
said yeah i liked it
i liked it i tried to catch it i just saw his face like oh this guy's dumb
when somebody when you see somebody's facial expression change it's right here
yeah it's
it's it's you know that thing under the nba you know the nba with that little
three second thing
you can't stand it it's right here you just it's like it's weird the eyebrows
very moved but this
shit furrows up and it's one of those things you can't make the face unless you
hear somebody say
something surprisingly stupid and what's devastating to you is you see the
respect leave them from you
you just see you see absolutely no pity for me he's like this guy's dumb uh a
couple wrap it up
questions all right then later in the conversation you try to say a big word
you try to get him back
i don't chase it paul i go back to the room paul stays there i chase i try to
say go to the atm
getting a thesaurus i just lost out i lost all day sunday i gotta get the monday
night game back
i gotta get it on monday night football i don't have it in me i just pack it in
i just go this guy's
gonna get me a bunch of work i don't want to do anyway that is so you and me
the difference where
bill will just put you you're the type of guy you put your head down you live
to fight another day
you go i up me i do no no no no give me hold on i'll get you back i'll win you
back yeah i'll win
you back if someone thinks i'm stupid i'm like all right cool you're one less
person i have to talk
to you gonna laugh dude one time my buddy he's a he's an english major he's
from out here uh sean
quinn right i haven't seen sean in a while but oh there's another guy goes off
i said something there
you go he applauds that's the philly oh good for you you feel better good for
you you
fucking piece of shit lie had told me that one day some guy some guy went some
guy went in front dude
he put his half his body out he goes good for you good you feel me you pieces
no but it starts off
nice oh good for you good for you you fucking piece of shit it's great so this
is how this is how dumb
i fucking this i said something so dumb because it's not that big of a war we're
driving through new
mexico cross country with him right he was going to pittsburgh he was dropping
me off whatever
and he goes yeah dude look at this like this whole area over here is like dilapidated
and i go do you have to use a big word like that which is not even that big of
a word
and he goes what i go did you have to say like dilapidated to let me know that
like you're an
english major and he just breaks down how it's not a big word at all and then i
heard other people
say it and i was just like oh god that's a but dilapidated is only and i don't
know if i'm
saying that right but that's dilapidated dilapidated dilapidated yeah keep
saying it paul and
i swear to god i'll lose confidence in it but dilapidated but say it dilapidated
dilapidated
yeah the way you're saying it's making me not know it makes me i get less sure
of it every time i
say it but you try to blow through the word slap save neighborhood that's only
you know what that
you know who does that bill you ever hear a host not know the person's name
start clapping
start clapping right now going to the stage i've done that i've done that yeah
keep it going for
you sound like you do the intro like you're driving by in a car like guys this
guy dude he just did
this he's crushing it right now start clapping stop clapping so you can yeah
could you try to remember
the name adding credits i've done that have you done it yeah dude i had like a
i had like a complex
where i was so afraid i was gonna i was gonna forget the next person because i
would look i would look
at you i was so nervous when i first started doing comedy as long as i've known
you i would look at you
and i would completely go blank on your name so when i i would literally write
if i started with
you i if i was hosting i would write paul verzi in my hand oh because you
thought you were going to
it up i'd be like that thanks a lot that's why i couldn't do it with the hand i'd
be like thanks
a lot that's my time you guys were great and then as they were clapping i'd go
all right coming to the
stage a guy i've known for 15 years you get nervous oh yeah no i i never like i
can host now but
i wasn't good at hosting then because i just had so much anxiety and the thing
about hosting is you
have to go up and get them and then you bring the next person up you go up and
then you got to go
back up again and get them again tour guide you guys it's gonna be great yeah
it's weird and then if
if you kind of lose them on one of those going they lose faith in you and it's
like anything else didn't
matter it's like you had a bad game and you got to go back up again that's how
i felt if i would
ever host like years ago one time you know they're like hey you want to watch
you host a stand and i was
hosting these months and then you feel like you go up and they hate you every
time yeah i i yeah i'm not
into uh i i like hosting now because i like uh you know seeing the younger
comics and all that type
i just did montreal and i tried to pop in on a show right and i saw a couple of
the younger
comics coming up i really like doing that and on those things i like hosting
like that but i'm not
into uh you know i also want to get the out of there i just want to go up do
what i'm doing that's
another thing too you get going and you're like oh this oh all right this other
guy's gonna talk for a
for a minute, you know?
- Yeah.