Name: Bill Burr & Paul Virzi _ My Kids Love My Truck!
Uploaded: 2022-08-06T16:20:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Paul Virzi _ My Kids Love My Truck!' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Paul Virzi _ My Kids Love My Truck!' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-06. Transcript available.

dude lucas has got lucas is into cologne stacy goes yeah he keeps going he goes
dad i took it
kid came in he had his little chain out and he sprayed it i swear to god dude
he's in he's in
dude he's into cologne and shit the influence you have on your kids is as long
as you're not an
asshole yeah you know he's not out there backhanded women no i said this i said
this you gotta i said
this on stage the other night and and the place went nuts and i said look if
you're a father and
your kids don't love the sports teams you love you're fucking up as a dad and
one guy got so he
goes that's right it was like it's like yeah and i said i knew kids growing up
that liked the yanks
and the dad liked the other or vice versa every time the dad was a dick every
time i was like oh
that's why that's why because this guy's not being a dad to this kid yeah that's
a hard one to listen
to look at your dad in pain but i i live in la so my kids this eventually you
know they're going to go
to school the other kids are wearing the other gear that's a different that's
an exception that's that's
a tough you know what i do is i just watch the red sox every night and they
always say who you rooting
for them like the red sox they'll be like which one's the red sox because they're
like 50 different
uniforms now it's gonna be hard if like the ones in the yellow and blue the
ones wearing the red the
ones wearing the white the ones wearing the gray like every night it changes
your court side at the
lake lebron gives your daughter a piggyback ride it's gonna be hard to sell her
on the celtics after
that if he tried to do that if he tried to do that i would have i'd hang on his
leg like van gundy
this ain't happening holding on to oakley yeah this ain't happening oh that's
that that's great
um no i uh i my son is like and daughter like totally love my old truck and uh
you know there's
a period that when i was walking in in the morning i always get my son in the
morning i go in to get
him and i would open the door and he would just look at me and he'd have his
head down like that
and he'd go oh that's like that and i'm like hey what's up what's up buddy be
like that is truck
that is truck oh god so what he does that thing must look like a monster truck
to them dude that
thing must be my daughter said he goes she goes to me i gave a ride and she
goes dad this is the
biggest truck in the whole world that's an 18-wheeler it's a two-wheel drive
and i think that truck's a
little bigger she's like no this is the biggest truck in the whole world so my
son comes over you know
and uh he sees me like because it shifts on the column so i gotta watch him
reach over
as soon as he wants to start shifting i gotta make sure i got the clutch in
right but he comes over
and uh like he sees me like i like when i when i would like uh you know step on
the gas you know
because i just sit in the driveway with it i can't drive with him it's just you
know can't put a baby
seat because it's only you know uh it's a regular cab so i just was sitting
there going vroom vroom and
i would look at him he would just go like that he'd look at me and he'd smile
he loved it so now what
he does is he stands up and i gotta put i got it's three on the tree so reverse
is closest to you and up so i
have to put it in reverse so his head can get by there and he's got a lead what's
that mean three
in the tree what's that uh you shift uh on the you know you by the time i came
around it was it was
down here right but the one i remember my mom and i had that one on the column
yeah yeah it was on the
columns it was three in the tree four on the floor okay i can rhyme back then
so um so and it was that
was what cool was before the internet so he comes over and he like he like
steps on the gas and he always
just goes like wow and i always think it's gonna scare me he looks at me i go
all right but he's go
a little easier so i literally have to put my foot underneath the accelerator
so when he steps on it
i can kind of put like a governor on yes yeah you know use up like 10 gallons
that'll be their truck
one day if you keep yeah oh no no it is so i'm gonna uh you know but that what
made me think of
that was you saying like i like new shit yeah like my my car i've had my car
now uh coming up on
six years and what's great is the uh the driver's seat is all like broken in
got like the creases
and the cracks in it and then everything else is pretty much especially the
back seat you never
talk about that car anymore to me why not i don't know i'm at i've never heard
you you i hear about
the truck but i never i never hear about your paul i love that i love that car
you love the jack
take it back what did i say don't buy anything uh good color too you got a good
color yeah you
got to do it you know i saw something today me and themless shout out to andrew
themless i saw
something today it was brutal it was a beautiful big brand new 2022 what's the
boxy mercedes truck
the what's the one oh the one looks like a toaster yeah but this one is like
this one is like that
is it a new one this one is like that on steroids and it was like sand color
cream it was beautiful
and then i looked inside and it fucking was red it's a sin you know if the
white would have popped
imagine that if you opened up it was white that's what you're going to say it
was no i'll tell you
who's killing with the colors toyota's toyota trucks you see the desert sand
they have yeah black
yeah fucking sick yeah green they have is great a lot of the japanese cars
right now are crushing it
and i'm hoping that they sell well anti-american thing to say but i hope they
do so these other
guys start you know opening up the colors dude everything's black white gray
and this bullshit where
you go out and get a wrap which is you know that's just dude i'm going i'm
going almost
color of that wallet is my dream so i want a little darker than that like a
chocolate brown
right like like a dark chocolate brown white inside that's the dream for me
that's the dream
dark chocolate brown layers yeah the first time it fucking rains and you're
standing outside like a
fucking homeless person i cannot get in that dude i take the lexus to the wash
every three week
every two every three days stacy goes what are you doing they just detailed it
i go no you're good to the
car to car it's good to you you know she goes paul it's immaculate in there i
go you know rains yeah
no it's that's what you want no my car i got i got this guy i watch on youtube
where he finds these
bar barn finds and he buys them yeah and these old cars and then him and his
team going through they
literally have like those masks that have like you know like so you don't
breathe because there's usually
uh a lot of them they'll have like lead paint if they're going to polish it and
then there's all
kinds of like fucking like mice and rat nests and shit and they've pissed and
shit everywhere
and you just look at the car going like you need to just burn that thing and
this guy just fucking
dude i saw back oh my god dude it's insane like there's two things that i've
been watching
i've been watching uh that guy's channel i wish i could give him a shout out uh
maybe we'll put a
link up i watched that and i watched people power washing driveways just
totally i'm totally into it
yeah i'm obsessed with looking at tires that are that shine i love seeing a
clean tire it's not
weird yeah yeah there's just certain things we're basically two married guys
who have kids and we've
just kind of left the universe and we're gravitating towards the weird things
that we're into