Name: Bill Burr "I'm Sick Of Them Complaining!"
Uploaded: 2022-08-12T18:00:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr "I'm Sick Of Them Complaining!"' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr "I'm Sick Of Them Complaining!"' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-12. Transcript available.

How are you?
How's it going?
Thank you for coming out of this wonderful A-leg.
I just got back from Southeast Asia
doing some standup over there.
Really cool people.
Yeah, this is .
Wonderful people,
unbelievable level of poverty and stuff.
I almost fall off the stage.
Makes it hard to complain though, you know?
You see that level of poverty.
Come back, your throat's all itching and stuff.
Probably got Ebola, you know?
It would be a good thing to bring that here, you know?
Just to kind of thin out the traffic a little bit, right?
Why don't they ever just let it burn through one time?
Why do we always got to, like, jump on it?
You ever had one of those selfish thoughts?
Like, what if it was a bunch of people who died,
nobody you knew or loved, right?
And then the next day, you just get to tear
right through the Lincoln Tunnel
at about 5:00 in the evening, right?
The only thing you'd have to suppress is the guilt
of not missing those people you didn't know, right?
I shouldn't make fun of Ebola.
I don't know anything about it.
Other than if you get it,
you have this unbelievable urge to go to the airport, all right?
Yeah, I don't know what it is.
Nobody gets Ebola, it just has the decency
to just walk out in the woods by themselves
and just bleed out like a gentleman, right?
For some reason, you got to go right down to the airport.
"Oh, can I downgrade to a middle seat?"
"Bah! Bah! Bah!"
So, I'm sick of Obama's wife.
Yeah.
This isn't some Republican rant, either.
It's just kind of first ladies in general.
You know, I don't know what it is.
All throughout my life, with each presidency,
like, these first ladies,
they've just gotten more and more, like,
like, uh, like, chatty, you know?
More and more chiming in, like, leaning into the frame,
spitting out their ideas.
It's just like, "What, why are you talking?"
Right?
"You weren't elected!"
"Shut up!"
"Your husband's not running a lemonade stand here."
"He's running the country."
"You don't just chime in."
"Let me guess, is this considered sexist?"
"It is? Why?"
Well, okay, you just nodded there, lady.
Let me ask you this, all right?
Let's say you had a leak in your house, okay?
You call a plumber up.
He shows up, and he goes,
"Yeah, I think the leak's coming from the upstairs bathroom.
We need to shut it up, blah, blah, blah."
Then, all of a sudden, his wife walks in,
"Who isn't a plumber?"
And then goes, "Yeah, you know, I'm actually--
"Hey, wouldn't you be like, with all due respect,
"Shut the f--k up!
I need a plumber in this moment."
I'll extend an olive branch here, all right?
At some point, there's gonna be
the first female president, right?
Exactly.
Which means, at that moment,
you're gonna have the first male first lady, right?
And when that happens, that dude needs to shut his trap.
I don't want to hear a word out of him.
I want to hear from the president.
"You, sir, go do some first lady stuff, all right?
"Go get yourself some gloves that go up to your elbows.
"Smile and nod during speeches.
"Go put your own flair redecorate in the White House."
Right?
Which leads you to Michelle Obama, right?
And now she's sitting there,
holding up those hashtags.
Remember that hashtag, "Bring back our girls"?
Remember that?
It's like, it blew my mind.
It's like, "Why are you showing me that?"
I'm a stand-up comedian.
Like, what am I gonna do to get those girls back?
Why don't you look across the dinner table?
It's like, "You see that guy?"
That is the leader of the free world.
Tell him to pick up a phone, call some Navy SEALs, and solve it.
What am I gonna do?
Show up with a sharpened mic stand.
"Hey, Michelle said to bring her back!"
"No, it's not real."
I'll tell you what kills me.
Hillary Clinton might run.
She might run.
That blows my mind.
I mean how she became a senator.
She went from being the president's wife to being a senator.
Just like that.
Lateral move.
That's like Tom Brady's wife becoming the next quarterback of the Rams.
It's like, what, you're hanging out?
You just pick it up?
"I sucked at sports, and then I banged Tom Brady,
and I don't know what happened.
I just picked up a ball, I started lacing it.
I'm leading receivers."
It was incredible.
I knew it was gonna be like this.
You know what's funny?
There's actually people out there that think a woman being president
is actually a good idea.
You know?
Can you believe that?
See what they do?
That'll do something.
That'll change things.
How?
How the is that gonna change anything?
Do you know what the president makes a year?
The president makes four and a grand a year.
That's it.
He's trying to keep billionaires in line, making four and a grand a year.
That's all he makes.
He makes less than some people blogging on the internet.
The president should have you money, right?
He shouldn't be sitting there with his pockets turned inside.
He's like, "Oh, I need your help to get me-- get me the job."
Right?
What, do you guys all donate to the campaign?
Is that what it is?
The band's enjoying it.
Martha Stewart, not so much.
But the rest of you.
Enjoying it.
They're just jokes, Martha.
Come on.
You got an empire.
I'm rooting for you.