Name: Bill Burr _ Owning A Scale To Lose Weight!
Uploaded: 2022-08-18T04:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr _ Owning A Scale To Lose Weight!' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr _ Owning A Scale To Lose Weight!' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-18. Transcript available.

All right. Owning a scale. Owning a scale. Hey, Bill, there is all pretty
obvious stuff here.
This is all pretty obvious stuff here. Well, I'm not the brightest guy.
I heard you talking on anything better about how Paul should own a scale.
Anyone who doesn't own a scaled and isn't in perfect shape is a moron.
I'm a former fat fuck who is in denial about my fat fuckness.
First thing I did to change my situation was to get a scale.
Can you please send Paul a scale so we can monitor the results?
He's not going to do it. He's not going to do it.
I can just tell you that right now. He's not going to do it.
You know, I don't know how to put it.
It's just like, I walk around all the time going, I'm a fat fuck.
And my wife goes, you're fine. You're fine. You look fine.
You have body dysmorphia. It's like, no, I don't.
I don't. I'm in, I'm fucking informed on, I'm fucking informed.
Like, how much, and I've been walking around with, you know, an extra 10 pounds
for like almost two years now.
I've just been so fucking busy. I can't get over to the gym as much as I need
to.
And I just need to get to the fucking gym.
That's how I stay in shape.
And just an extra five pounds walking around on that, like how much that shortens
your life.
Because each pound of fat is like something, like some crazy amount of like
five miles of capillaries that you got to grow to keep that part of your body,
you know, the new additional skin and fat and all that alive.
And that's every heartbeat, your heart has to go an extra five fucking miles.
You know, there's people that are like, you know, it's like that dad who wanted
to fight me last week.
Like, he thought he was like a fucking husky, tough guy.
And it's like, dude, you're a fat fuck.
When he was going like, what are you, like a buck 80?
I weighed 180 in high school.
It's like, yeah, dude, you should probably only weigh 185.
But now you'll, dude, he looked like he was every bit of 230.
100% fucking obese.
30 pounds overweight is, you know, you know, obviously, if you're fucking eight
feet tall, maybe you're not obese.
But 30 pounds overweight, you're fucking obese.
And this guy was like twice that.
But he's walking around, you know, one of those guys that still eats fucking
shit food, but, you know, also still does push-ups.
So he thinks he's like in shape.
And I think you can have reverse body dysmorphia.
Where you can be a fat fuck and not think that you're a fat fuck.
And I think there's a lot of people doing that.
There's a lot of people out there just buying bigger clothes.
And, you know, they do that thing.
That thing where they just sort of bring their hand down the front of their
torso.
I'm not that bad.
I'm not that bad.
It's like, dude, you're a fucking house.
You're a house.
Listen, I'm like 10, 15 pounds overweight.
And I already have difficulty with like, you know, taking my shoes off and
stuff like that.
Like, not like I'm breathing hard, but I just, my stomach gets in the fucking
way.
Not enjoying that at all.
So, um, that is like my big thing.
When I finally finish editing this movie and we're so goddamn close, um, I'm
going to, uh, get myself in shape.
Get on the other side of Fenway, the other side of this movie.
And I'm just hitting the elliptical every fucking day and eat well.
And, uh, I should be fine.
That's my big thing.
Um, and I should get on the scale.
I haven't got on the scale because I already know what the fuck it's going to.