Name: BILL, Enough Talking About The Gym!!
Uploaded: 2022-08-19T06:23:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'BILL, Enough Talking About The Gym!!' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'BILL, Enough Talking About The Gym!!' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-19. Transcript available.

just checking in on you checking in to see how your week's going you know no
self-promotion
just a nice friendly how are you saratoga springs this saturday um with tony b
just calling to say
you know see how your week's going you know it's thursday it's a very exciting
day you get your
paycheck you know you lie to yourself that you're not going out tonight you
know you're going to
save your money this week and what happens oh come on i can be hung over for friday
i'll be all right
oh look at you thank you brought me a little cup of fucking joe here um the
lovely mia
and then what ends up happening right you go out thursday you spend 40 of your
check
then you're like god i gotta fucking shut it down here this isn't going to be
one of these things
where i blow my whole paycheck and i'm fucking brown bagging it on monday for
lunch all right at some
point i gotta fucking show a little responsibility stop fucking boozing and and
and you know save a
little something this week but then what happens somebody calls you friday like
all right i'll go
out i'm just gonna have a cup gonna be home by 10 o'clock i'm gonna wake up i'm
going to the gym
you know i'm gonna take my plyometrics geometric fucking class whatever the
fuck kids do now with
the trx tix fucking bands right doing all of this shit like you're gonna go
work for cirque du soleil
and uh
you know go take a fucking what is those classes that the you know people just
fucking with the
kettlebells they take up all the space and there's no place to stretch anymore
because it's the uh
crossfit section i've been going to a local gym here great fucking gym all
right definitely a great gym
um i like the guy that's fucking on his phone at the gym
you know what i mean just like texting and he's sitting in at a fucking station
that you wanted you
know maybe like the lat pull downs or the squat thing and you just want to
fucking use it and he's
literally taking like seven minute breaks between because he doesn't realize
that he's just like
disappearing into his fucking phone
um
whenever i see people doing that they're never in good shape
you know what i mean but those lunatics that walk around with the jug of water
and that little fucking notebook writing down every rep and how much weight
they use those people are always shredded
so i'm asking you today
who are you or as they say up here in massachusetts who are you
are you that fucking idiot you know that's just listening to his music and
taking seven minutes
between fucking reps staring at your phone staring at your phone
you know you want to be water jug guy looking like you're ready to reboot the
fucking a team
oh that's pretty good
it's a pretty good espresso god damn it
my new this is my shit right now
bill nobody asked you what your shit was
well i don't care
all right in my head you did
in my head you asked me
you know bill enough of this shit
talking about the gym what is your shit
oh last thing i'm gonna say about the gym
is uh they got this shredded dude that
does the fucking uh i just said what it was the crossfit crossfit the crossfit
how old do i sound
he does uh he he hosts he runs
he he he manages a crossfit class whatever the fuck teaches there's the word
he teaches a crossfit class
and uh you know which i would love to take but i've never seen one exercise
that wouldn't fuck my body up
all right we're just gonna jump up and down here to get warm now i can't do
that can't do that
we're gonna pick up a kettlebell we're gonna hold it up over our head and then
we're gonna slowly go down
and sit on our ass and then get back up again while always holding the kettlebell
up
why would you do that
what do what do you think what'd you wake up thinking today you know my rotator
cuffs feel pretty good
you know what i like about my back it's aligned
i think i'll take a fucking stone with a handle on it and lift it above my
fucking head
and then try to sit down on my ass like
i couldn't believe they could do it but there was a kill me one of the one of
the days i went over
there oh jesus listen to this shit i'd fucking go over there there's a bunch of
uh
like old white women in the class
right like oh but meaning my age
okay
the kids are in their 20s they're going to fucking college and they're out
there doing this fucking
crossfit shit and what was hilarious was
the the crossfit teacher was playing dmx
so
it's a bunch of older white ladies like my age and he's fucking playing y'all
gonna make me lose my mind
up in here up in here
there's curse words and shit
i'm just sitting there going like just fucking laughing about how like how much
it's changed
you know i know i swear my brains out so i'm not like offended or
anything but like you couldn't fucking do like
couldn't just be playing songs that had like the f word and all of that stuff
my favorite one is every once in a while like you know a niece or a nephew
will have um a birthday and you know they're all sneakerheads or whatever so i
can't just go to
athlete's foot or one of those fucking places i have to go to the sneakerhead
store
and you go in there and every time i've gone in there it's just like
um you know it sounds like i'm doing stand-up there's so many f bombs and they're
dropping the n-word and all of that it's fucking hilarious is all of that shit's
going on you're just like yeah do you have this in a size seven
and nobody notices they're just like shazam in the song like oh i like this
you know my kid's gonna be selling lemonade on the side of the street later on
raising money for uganda i don't know why i picked that country but we're gonna
say uganda
and i'm this would be a good song to play
Thank you.