Name: Bill Burr _ Dating A High Class Escort ! "I'v been U , and I'v been the hoe"
Uploaded: 2022-08-21T06:44:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr _ Dating A High Class Escort ! "I'v been U , and I'v been the hoe"' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr _ Dating A High Class Escort ! "I'v been U , and I'v been the hoe"' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-21. Transcript available.

Dear Bill, I live in the Netherlands.
I've been casually seeing this girl for a few months.
Her family is rich, she's a pro-fashion model,
and looks like Bridget Bardot.
I've heard that name, but I can't picture the face,
but with a name like that, right?
She's got to be all stuck up with her fucking perfect jeans.
Anyways, yesterday she told me that for the past few months
she's been working as a whore.
How fucked up am I that I actually find that sexy on some level?
High class on account of her looks and profession.
2,000 euros for three hours, 10,000 euros for 24 hours.
Oh my God.
Oh my God, some guy slobbered all over you for 10,000 hours.
How quickly did you have to break up with this girl?
I shouldn't make fun of this, this is terrible.
Why is she tapping out?
She's taking the easy way out here.
You're already a model, everybody's rich.
Is she getting written out of the will?
She's freaking out?
Like, what do I do?
I've been rich my whole life.
No, I'm not going to be.
Oh, I'll suck it.
Well, why don't I read when I continue reading here?
The usual clientele is rich corporate assholes and idiots who save up and think
paying ludicrous
amounts of money will get them a better orgasm.
I have absolutely no interest in seeing this girl anymore.
She's not going to be the mother of my children.
Yeah, no, she's not.
Yet she's only told four other people.
If I split after her telling me this secret, she'll feel like a piece of trash
and view me
like some Puritan asswipe.
My real reason for running away is you can't ask her to quit.
And if she does, she'll only resent you for it and be at risk of relapsing any
time.
I got to get out.
How do I do it?
Well, well, what you have to do is stop being concerned about her feelings.
What about your feelings?
What about the fact that this woman is fucking around on you?
What about the fact that she could give you an STD?
What about the fact that she, that a relationship is built on trust and she has
this giant fucking
secret, arguably the biggest fucking secret you could have?
You know, I'm not judging anybody in this fucking story because I've been you
and I've
been the whore.
I'm just saying, if I'm the whore, I expect to get, I expect to get fucking
dumped.
You know, there's plenty of man whores out there.
You know, that's what happens.
Yeah, dude, no, you got to stop thinking about it.
Like, it's weird.
Like, this is what you have to do.
You have to get over the, you have to be selfish in a fucking relationship to
end up
getting what you want in life.
All right.
And you have to have parameters and, you know, to use the cliche, you know, to
make an omelet,
you got to break some eggs.
That's basically what you got to do.
And this is not your fault.
I don't know what happened to her that made her choose this horrific fucking
profession,
but it's not your fault and it's not your job to fix it.
And, um, you said it in your last two sentences, I got to get out.
How do I do it?
Uh, so I guess your second to last sentence, you said it, I got to get out.
So you just have, you don't have to be mean about it.
You just have to say, listen, that's just a, uh, unbelievable piece of
information you
just gave me that you were keeping from me.
And, uh, uh, Jesus Christ, you just got, you got to use the cliche, you know,
relationships
built on trust.
You know, I'm not judging you.
Uh, I wish you weren't.
I mean, you know what, there's a part of her that might want is probably, I don't
even tell
you this because you might run to this cause it's easier, but like, you know, I
don't know.
This is what I would do.
I would break up with her and then also try to get her help to get her out of
it.
That's what I would do.
And by getting her help, I would give her information where she can go.
She needs to handle this on her own because you have feelings for her and you
know that
this isn't the mother of your kids.
And if you just keep hanging around with her, you're going to get sucked back
into it again.
And now you have to trust somebody who lied to you at that fucking level.
And, um, that is just a, a fucking train wreck waiting to happen.
All right, dude, I would go get myself tested for everything on the, under the
fucking
sun and, um, that's it.
That's it.
And she, she cries.
I mean, that's part of it.
And she brought it on herself.
It's not your fault.
All right.
And I'm not trying to be mean or whatever.
I mean, I don't know what happened to her that made her do that type of shit,
but that's
not your fault.
Okay.
So why don't you go out there and find a great girl who isn't a whore on the
side and
go live your dreams.
All right.
And you know what?
You're going to dump her and it's going to hurt for a little while.
Even though you knew it was the right thing to do, it's still supposed to hurt
because
you're a human being.
You just got to push through that.
Go to the gym.
Right?
Have a couple of belts at the bar, but just stay in it.
Stay in that pain.
And you wait till that pain's gone.
And then you fucking go out and try to find somebody else.
In the meantime, you rub one out.
All right.