Name: Bill Burr _ My Visit To Boston and Its Pizza Spots!
Uploaded: 2022-08-26T13:13:20.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr _ My Visit To Boston and Its Pizza Spots!' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr _ My Visit To Boston and Its Pizza Spots!' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-26. Transcript available.

And then meanwhile, as this thing was hanging over my head, I was having, as
always, you know, I go back, I go back east to Boston for like, you know, 10,
12 days these last couple of years.
And I hit all of these places, you know, from my childhood.
And I added a new one.
I went to this pizza place in fucking East Boston that lived up to the hype.
All right.
I'm going to give you guys the name of it here at the risk of, you know, people
getting mad like, dude, don't say what the fucking spot is.
There's a place, if you ever go to Boston, I hope I say it right, Santarpio's
is where I went.
You know, there's all of these places, you know, Linwood Cafe, Cape Cod Pizza,
Town Spa.
There's one that I still have to go to called Pleasant Cafe in Roslindale.
And there are all these places that they just have these little personal size
bar pizzas.
And that's sort of the Boston style pizza.
And it's funny, like I'm saying these places because, you know, New Yorkers
will come up and they'll be like, hey, you know, I went to Boston.
The fucking pizza sucks.
And it's like, you know, it doesn't.
You just don't know where to go.
And the reality is.
Is this is even in New York City.
The reality with New York City is there's only five or six places to go.
However, there's like 15,000 fucking places to buy a slice.
And those five or six places in New York are so fucking good that the
reputation is through the ceiling.
And I know Chicago is the same way.
And I still don't know where to go in Chicago.
You know, everybody makes fun of it.
You know, I remember Jon Stewart said it's not pizza.
It's fucking lasagna.
The deep dish style.
But there has to be a reason why it's so popular there.
So I would imagine in Chicago that there's like five or six places to go.
So I went to this place, San Tarpeo's in East Boston.
With Club Soda Kenny.
And we were because I was in Saratoga Springs, New York, the Saturday night.
I did Friday.
What did I do?
I did Wednesday, two shows.
I did Giggles on Friday.
I did Nick's Comedy Stop, which is where I started my career 30 years ago.
Over 30 years ago.
And then I went to Saratoga Springs on Saturday.
And then Sunday night I did Fenway.
So I was beyond ready.
So anyway, before we went to Saratoga Springs, this place, East Boston, is
right near Logan Airport.
And we swung in there.
And it ended up being like bigger sized pizzas.
And the crust was a lot thicker.
It was a different style.
It wasn't that classic Boston bar pizza.
But I'm going to tell you that anytime I go someplace new, I always get the
plain cheese, the margarita.
Because, you know, you can hide behind your toppings.
I want to see, does your sauce have the fucking zing?
You know, with the cheese or whatever.
I sound like fucking Dave Portnoy right now.
And this place totally lived up to the hype, man.
It was fucking delicious.
And what I find with all great pizza places is they understand that the job of
the cheese is to fucking compliment the sauce.
That's where you go to the next level.
All of these fucking idiots that think the cheese is the star of the show, you
know, that's the starting quarterback, you know, to the point they literally
stick cheese in the fucking crust.
They don't know how to make pizza.
Anybody else where, you know, the tomato sauce, the pizza sauce that they put
on and it's got that zing, that tang to it.
And then the cheese just fucking seamlessly blends into it.
I'm getting hungry right now.
It was absolutely fucking delicious.
And I've only known, like, the South Shore places.
And when I was really young, you know, I lived up on the North Shore before I
came down south.
But I was too young.
You know, I moved in, like, the mid-70s down to the south.
My family moved down to the South Shore, so I missed out on all those places.
So anyway, when you go up to Boston, you know, go to those fucking places.
And if you find some other ones, let me know about it.
Yeah, I'm trying to see.
I got a whole bunch of this Marblehead House of Pizza.
That's another one I have to try out.
I'm sort of determined to go to every one of those little bar of pizza spots,
you know, over the years when I go to Boston.
And so if you guys have, like, your spots, that's the really cool thing, I
think, about living in Massachusetts, is every two to three towns, you know,
has a place as a little bar, a little hole in the wall looking like a dive bar
type of place that just makes a fucking outstanding pizza that everybody in the
area, like, that's your spot that you go to.
So I got to do a little bit of that when I was at Logan Airport before, you
know, waiting on the delay.
You know, I got to go.
It was a Kelly's roast beef that they have there.
There's also Bill and Bob's roast beef.
I had Kelly's roast beef.
It was fucking delicious.
Although the bartender fucking annoyed me when we showed up.
You know, we're standing there and it was just like, what do we do?
Do we sit down?
He's we can talk to him.
Do we order from you?
Like, he's like, God, do we order from you?
And then I said, yeah, or do we take like a picture?
Do we take a picture of this thing here?
You know, because I have that little fucking barcode looking thing on the table.
And then the guy just goes like, you know, OK, you guys are asking me two
different things right now.
He does one of those things.
And I was just like, I can't remember what I said to him.
I said, yeah, we're trying to fucking test your memory, you douche.
I fucking I think there was somebody else earlier that day.
Oh, I know.
We went through fucking TSA.
And for whatever reason, I wasn't, you know, pre-checked.
I thought it was.
I always am.
I walked by the lady.
I showed her my ticket or whatever.
And then there was this fucking guy at the TSA thing that he was one of those
sing-songy cunts.
You know what I mean?
Where he'd be like, you don't have the right idea.
No, the right ID or whatever.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
And he was like doing that.
But it was like totally passive aggressive over the top.
Everything was like, go fuck yourself underneath it.
And I got up there and like the way he said that you're not TSA pre-checked.
I was looking at him like, is this guy fucking with me?
Like, why would you say that in that happy tone?
Like, hey, you're going to have to go to the back of another line.
Like, like I just want a car on the price is right.
So I was looking at him like going like, all right, is he just fucking with me?
Does he know I'm a comedian?
So he's trying to break my balls.
And I just sort of sat there.
And then I realized he was serious.
I was just like, OK, all right, no worries.
And I just kind of went over to the other line.
And then I was standing there.
Thinking about it, I was like, I don't know, maybe I'm wrong.
But was it me or was that guy like really thrilled to tell us to get the fuck
out of that line?
Um, so maybe that's what it was.
So then I go to the fucking roast beef gun.
He's like, OK, you guys were asking me two different things right now.
Like, shut the fuck up.
We asked you two really simple things.
How the fuck do we order a fucking sandwich here with this new Buck Rogers
technology
where I just point my phone at the thing?
I don't take a picture because I always end up taking a picture of the fucking
thing.
That actually happened earlier in that week when we were fucking calling up to
make sure that we had.
I was trying a different pizza place.
And we're like, yeah, just calling over, just making sure you have a record of
our order.
And the guy goes, I don't.
It's like, well, we ordered online.
And the guy's like, well, I don't have a record of it.
And it's like, well, can we just order through you?
And he's like, actually, no, you cannot.
We have a we have a company that handles all our orders.
It was like, you're at the place.
You speak English.
We speak English.
Can we just order two fucking pieces through you?
And he's like, oh, absolutely, absolutely, you can't.
It's like, well, that's what the fuck we're saying.
I don't know what the fuck that was.
I have a problem.
Can you help me?
No, I cannot.
Who says it like that?
Don't you usually just go, you know, unfortunately, I can't.
I know this is a crazy system.
I don't own the business.
This is the way they run it.
It makes no sense to me.
I apologize.
You know, no, I cannot.
Hey, I'm hanging from a cliff.
I got two fingers left.
Is there any way you can help me up?
I cannot help you up.
Unfortunately, you got it with your hand.
That's dangling from the cliff.
Can you reach into your pocket and get out your phone and call the park ranger?
We outsource helping people falling from a cliff.
Thank you.