Name: "Billy Football" Is Going To Be Hanging With The Kids This Fall!
Uploaded: 2022-08-27T09:27:32.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video '"Billy Football" Is Going To Be Hanging With The Kids This Fall!' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video '"Billy Football" Is Going To Be Hanging With The Kids This Fall!' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-08-27. Transcript available.

But my big takeaway is I want to get some shit out of my living room, sell it
or whatever,
and then I'm going to buy, when my kids get a little bit older, we're going to
play that
stand-up hockey game. Fuck these tablets and all of that shit. I'm going to get
that bar level one
that you play. And here's another thing too, was the kids were in there and
they were playing like
PlayStation, PS4, PlayStation 4. Last time I had a PlayStation, it was like 20
years ago,
it was PlayStation 2 and they were playing the NHL one. It was fucking
unbelievable. I was sitting
there going like, that's a video game? That looks like a movie. And I said to
the kid playing, I go,
can you fight somebody? And he's like, yeah. I said, all right. So he was
playing the other team that
wasn't the Maple Leafs and he lined up against Tavares. And I guess, I don't
know, the computer
wasn't trying. He just kept fucking uppercutting the guy. And I was just like,
dude, you're going
to have to pay for that later on in this game. You know, you can't go after a
goal scorer.
On a face off. He hasn't fucking done anything or whatever. Whatever. I had a
good time watching
them play. But I want to get one of those, um, that standup game. I want to get
rid of like,
it's funny. It's the area of the living room where I was going to have a bar
back in the day when I
was a big booze hound. I was going to buy a, um, a, uh, what are you? An art
deco like bar. Um,
I don't know. I was into booze, right? I was going to have some Humphrey Bogart
level fucking
bar over in the corner. And then I'm like, what am I doing? You got kids. It's
over. It's not your time
anymore. All right. Just be your age. Don't go out and get a Brazilian butt
lift or whatever the
fuck these people my age are doing now. HGH and, you know, and taking before
and after pictures in
their fucking fifties. What a bunch of fucking creeps. Dude, my generation
really turned out to
be a bunch of fucking creeps. You know, have you ever seen anybody age worse
than fucking baby boomers
and generation X with all of this fucking shit they're doing? Jesus Christ. Be
a fucking man.
All right. There's nothing wrong with looking like an old sea captain.
These fucking assholes. And you know something? Let me tell you what, they're
all a bunch of
fucking cheaters. All of these fucking assholes using all these fucking
injections and all of that
shit. Dialing back the, whatever the fuck they're dialing back. You still look
old as shit.
Walking around looking like an old gorilla. Um, I've said no to everything.
Anybody asked me to do
anything. I just keep saying no. I just keep saying no. I just keep saying no.
Cause I'm going to be
old fucking Billy football hanging out with the kids. Maybe that's what I'll do.
Maybe that's my
goal in the fall is I'm going to hang out with the kids. I'm going to buy that
fucking hockey game
and get rid of those stupid, I was going to say bookshelves.
It is stupid for a guy like me to get it, have bookshelves. Cause I don't
fucking read.
I try to read, you know, whatever. Go fuck yourself. Okay. I'm doing the best I
can. So, um,
I want to get that hockey game and, uh, it's just, my son's a little bit too
little, but I, my, my, my daughter
would be fine on it, but I just feel like my son would be watching us playing
and then he would want
to, I don't know. Well, it gives a shit. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get
it. Um,
Oh, it's going to be a good time. And then we'll have like epic fucking
tournaments and my kids will,
will, uh, learn about, you know, winning and losing, you know? And, uh,
yeah, it's going to be fun because my daughter does not like to lose. Like when
we play shoots
and ladders, she really gets upset, you know, you know, what's a motherfucker
on shoots and ladders
is that fourth row where they have the back-to-back slides on like, I think it's
numbers like
45 and 47 or 46 and 48. You just can't get by those fucking things. It takes
you at least three
tries. You know, we just like, whatever I do, don't spend a one or a three,
three fuck. And then
you go back down again. And then whenever I go up the big ladder, right? Uh,
ladders and snakes,
as they call it down in Australia, for some reason they, they went shoots up
here because we're like
too religious. All the Aussies think it was because we're too afraid of snakes,
which is fucking
hilarious. Afraid of snakes. You ought to, you were fucking Americans. We're
out of our minds.
We've dropped two nuclear weapons on human beings. I think we give a shit about
reptiles.
We turned our own food supply into poison and fed it to our own people. We don't
give a fuck
about snakes, but religion, that's where it is. Oh, the fucking snake. It told
fucking Eve to go eat
the goddamn apple and whatever the fuck that is. That's why, not because we're
fucking upset about
snakes. Um, anyway, uh, anytime I go up that big fucking ladder, I swear to God,
I have like a 70%
chance that my next spin, I'm going down the fucking slides. It's annoying. So
So,