Name: Bill Burr "I Think I Was In A Porno!"
Uploaded: 2022-09-03T09:51:38.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr "I Think I Was In A Porno!"' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr "I Think I Was In A Porno!"' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-03. Transcript available.

I think I was in a porno.
I've really thought about what I was talking about the other day.
I think I'm in the opening, the cold open to a porno.
All right.
And I want you guys to find it.
Here's the deal.
I was driving my car up on Mulholland.
I'm telling this story again in case you missed the last episode.
And I came around the corner and there was two chicks wearing next to nothing,
oiled up, walking a dog down the street.
I mean, they were basically naked.
Right.
And I was like, what the fuck?
I immediately thought it was like a prank show.
And the more I thought it, I was like that they were stealing a shot.
Stealing a shot means you don't have a permit to shoot.
So they probably just pulled up and said, OK, you know, we're going to do like
a drone thing
or somebody was shooting it from somewhere and they just had him walking down
the street.
So if you see a porno and it starts off, it was a black chick and either a
Latin, Latin
chick or an Italian chick or something like that.
And I'm on the same side of the street.
It's a green jaguar.
And if you see some bald, freckled guy like, oh, God, like, what the fuck is
that?
That's me.
And I want credit that I'm in that fucking video.
So there you go.
See, now, back in the day.
You know, there was a thing where I don't I don't know if it ever worked, but
you always
heard these stories of how these beautiful women got discovered.
Like, you know, this or like even like guys like I remember that that kid from
the Terminator.
We saw him in a mall casting director saw him in a mall.
We're like, oh, let's make this person famous.
And, you know, possibly fuck up their life, you know, their lives.
Right.
And there was always these stories about like I wasn't even in show business.
I was just pretty and they noticed me.
Right.
So people were like, you know, it's not the way it is now where the Kardashians
showed
you what you have to do is fucking blow somebody on camera and then you'll be a
billionaire.
Right.
That that that option didn't exist back then.
All right.
You were either a commercial actor, a TV actor, a movie star, or you were in
porn.
You couldn't just jump all around like these free agents in the fucking NBA.
Going, where's the best deal for me?
Right.
So there was this thing out here where women would go dress hot because they
knew that fucking
agents were down there and managers and shit.
Right.
And then the managers would go down there.
Do you got to go down there?
There's a bunch of hot chicks.
Right.
And they would go down there.
And then there was that weird dance.
Right.
The weird dance.
Like, I want to rep you slash fuck you.
I want to be represented, but I don't want to fuck you.
There was this whole fucking game that was going on.
So.
Back in the day, if I saw that, like when I lived out here in the 90s.
I would have been like, if I saw that, I would be like, oh, well, they're going
extra hard
trying to get a fucking agent or a manager.
But now it's like, well, they could just do that on Instagram from the safety
of their own
home.
Start their own brand and not have a manager or an agent and just be like, you
know, like,
oh, here's my titties.
You like these?
Yeah.
You fucking like them.
You know, whatever the fuck they do and make fucking a whole bunch of money and
become
like an influencer.
All right.
There's no reason to do that anymore.
Unless they didn't pay their cable bill.
But even then, though, there's a cell phone bill.
I don't know.
I'm convinced it was a porno.
I have no idea.