Name: Bill Burr "I'm In A Depressed Mood Cause Of The Heat!
Uploaded: 2022-09-06T13:12:47.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr "I'm In A Depressed Mood Cause Of The Heat!' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr "I'm In A Depressed Mood Cause Of The Heat!' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-06. Transcript available.

what's going on how are ya how you doing i hope you're doing all right i'm not
doing all right
i'm in a fucking depressed mood i really am i just you know
did you know i think the way you stay out of depression is you just give up
hope
and then you just sit back and you just got to fucking laugh at the whole thing
but you can't because there's like kids involved you know bill what are you
talking about you know what
i'm talking about i'm talking about the fact it's been over a hundred degrees
out and it's going to
be that way for like five straight days out here and like if you read up on
this shit since the late
1950s scientists were warning corporations and politicians that these days were
coming they did
fucking nothing about it they just kept taking the paychecks from the evil cunts
they started making shit uh what is the stuff where you design it to break
design obsolescence whatever the fuck that they did so you just had to keep
throwing your shit out
they put repairmen out of business you just had to keep buying the new thing we
just kept throwing
the shit in the ocean and now here we are here we are right and then what are
these fucking news
corporations going to do who allegedly love this country and are allegedly
trying to steer us
into a bluer or redder future whatever the fuck their politics are what are
they doing nothing all
they're going to do is just do what they do to make money is scare the herd now
you're going to see
a bunch of fucking articles about water and the scarcity of water and all of
that and
they're just going to pit us against each other as they're up there banging
hookers eating crab
i give up i fucking give up it was it was easier to give up when you could just
go outside
but uh like the level of fucking
i mean i went outside this morning to shut off the lights you know
i guess i shouldn't leave those on huh it's a waste of shit right maybe i
should get a gun
instead of leave the lights on that's probably better for that's better for
global warming
don't leave your lights on all night let the burglar come in kill the burglar
now you just ended somebody's carbon carbon footprint there we go look at that
look at that
two minutes 39 seconds in we came up with the solution where i can make my
little corner of
the earth a little better um
anyway
uh and i know they're they're out here they're telling people to lose use less
water
and i know good and goddamn well all the richy rich people out here like that
doesn't apply to us
and they're fucking doing whatever the it is that they want to do having a
water orgy
that'll be the new way to display wealth
you know in hip-hop videos in the future
rappers will be dumping fiji water on some strippers ass
you know that'll be the new cristal um oh well well you know what you can only
die once
here's one would you rather fucking dry out like this or freeze to death
i don't know i don't even tell you about like i don't even know i'm like
fucking like just sitting here in air conditioning thinking like i'm just
adding to it just being
more hot outside how do you think this ends you've seen that
shit where they have all that they have like all this underground they
underground with
that the uh the government has like these underground like
fucking super bunkers with enough food for like 30 years
i think that that's their uh
i think that that's their game plan
it's just self-preservation because then what's going to happen is you're going
to be down there
but this is the thing though oh that's a good sci-fi movie is then they get
down there right and they
survive and then everybody dies up top right and then they're down there what
are they going to do after
a while huh they're going to be banging each other right which means they're
going to be making
kids and then they're only going to have a certain supply of uh of food
because everything above ground is going to be too goddamn hot and dead
right it's all burned up you can't do anything right you're just going to stay
on and they and then
their survival is they get they're going to have to live underground and
eventually
you know
oh my god they're gonna start eating each other and then how does that work do
the young eat the old
the olds keep making younger ones so they got something to eat
how does it work you know what i mean what are the rules is every race invited
like you know what part of the menu does does a white baby go on versus
uh or we could try to fuck why can't we work together i don't know it's like
though it's like
fucking real housewives i don't understand why everybody can't just be like all
right let's
just step back take a fucking break you know why because because of um
you know why because god makes sociopaths that's why and god makes slack-jawed
mouth-breathing
fucking morons that just prevents it from working that's basically that's
basically what it is so i would think
here's the one what if they just somehow they came up with a test and they just
figured out
how to get rid of anybody who isn't empathetic you know i'd say anybody who
wasn't racist or
homophobic but everybody has degrees of that like there's no fuck i don't care
how open-minded you are
there is a social situation that that that you can get put in where you're
going to be like i have to
get the fuck out of here i'm not comfortable so um i guess i'm saying there's
no solution but it is
football season um anyway i've been uh i've been having a great week back here
as far as like hanging
out with the kids despite the fact it's been so freaking hot dude it was so hot
i had to literally uh
you know which also adds to global warming is i hadn't you know flown a
helicopter and
fucking forever and i was gonna forget how to do it i had to do it at like
eight in the morning
and i'm up there like and i'm spraying low lead fuel into the atmosphere so
what am i doing
oh man we we've gotten ourselves this this podcast this is too deep this is too
deep for me all right
it's just fucking too much man um i have been seeing things on that saying that
global warming
is a lie this planet can sustain 18 billion people it's just like is that right
and just exactly what
does that look like i mean that swirl of trash that we've achieved i'm gonna
look at it positively that
we achieved all the that we've thrown out from all the that we bought that we
didn't need oh it was
designed to break so we'd have to buy another one is now like two miles deep
and like one and a half
times the size of texas the last time i had the balls to even look at it uh
that's what seven billion
people did so you want to go you want to double that plus you want you want to
go one and a half more
i don't know i don't know about that that's why you know you you would have
thought mother nature
would have come a little harder with covid you know we're still out fucking
whatever she can come with
you know it's kind of like that ohio state game for as much as notre dame
showed up and played their a game they weathered the storm and then they just
kept fucking going
they put a couple of dents in the side of their refrigerator but they they they
they didn't they
didn't tip it over is that a new sports analogy bill is that the food network
meets meets the fucking uh sec