Name: Bill Burr _ What's The Relation Between Sugar & Cancer?
Uploaded: 2022-09-07T14:43:47.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr _ What's The Relation Between Sugar & Cancer?' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr _ What's The Relation Between Sugar & Cancer?' from BURR'S FANDOM on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-09-07. Transcript available.

All right, medical talk.
Dear Bill Burgeoning Vocabulary Burr.
I know that's said with a bunch of sarcasm.
Oh, man, I learned a new French word.
What is it?
Renseignement.
Excusez-moi.
Je voudrais un petit renseignement, monsieur.
Piece of information.
That's what I'm trying to say.
I usually let your discussions of medicine fall by the wayside.
Well, you know what?
I would say that's a very good instinct if you do that.
Because they're rarely specific.
Well, yeah, I don't have a medical degree.
But your fan mail today was too much for me to be able to ignore.
Oh, wait a minute.
Are you suggesting that my ignorance, it's so ignorant that you're not, you
know, but it's not specific, so you don't feel it's doing any harm.
But evidently, you know, it's like some unathletic person.
I took enough half-court shots and one went in and then somebody responded and
you realize that there was a leak in the dam.
And now you're going to, with your bigger brain, you're going to seal it, I
hope.
Anyway, for context, I'm a general surgery resident at a large academic
institution.
All right, your sugar rants.
Yo, Bill, all those sugar and fatty rants are spot on.
What ones?
Something that I said was right?
That's amazing.
Or the ones that I made reference to.
Fat people go to the doctors routinely, but they're low-cost visits to health
industry because doctors can't do much for fat people.
What are you talking about?
They can fucking make a living off of them giving them medication.
They can give them lap band surgery, you know, when they go in there with their
fucking wet vac and suck all the fat out.
Unless they can, wait, unless they can and then the fatties have to pay for
procedures when needed.
So, all right, I recently learned how cancer detection works.
And if it isn't the biggest tell as far as cancers go, I don't know what is.
This is how they locate cancer, according to this person.
They locate cancer by actually radiating sugar and adding dye to it.
Then they inject the radioactive sugar into your system.
It travels to the cancer because sugar feeds cancer.
Every woo-woo cancer treatment in the last 100 years includes cutting sugar out
completely.
I swear to God, I don't even understand.
It's just, how did we get here?
It's the only way to make money by slowly killing people.
That seems to be the easiest way to make a lot of money.
Podcast question.
Dear Billy Graybush.
I was recently, these are getting really personal, guys.
I know you're running out of ways to insult me, but you know, at least you
taught me how to say sherbet.
I'm actually going to call my lovely wife, Nia, after this podcast and be like,
how have you been letting me say sherbet all these years?
I'd be like, oh, I fucking hate sherbet.
And no one would say anything.
But then I wonder afterwards, it's like, did that guy just say sherbet?
It's sherbet.
Not sherbet.
It's not a new fucking Muppet, you asshole.
All right.
Dear Billy Graybush.
I was recently listening to your podcast when you brought up drinking and how
that is the easy way to go to deal with your problems.
I don't think I ever said that directly.
I don't know.
Maybe what I was saying was like that.
I don't know.
I don't even remember half the shit I say.
Anyways, this person says, I've been a booze bag and done some pretty deplorable
stuff since I was 18.
I use it to suppress my childhood problems, but I feel it's really time to quit
and to try to deal with that in a functional way.
I don't want to be that old guy with a massive nose.
Yeah, that's called a gin blossom.
And a face the color of a beet.
I'm 26 now and every time I stop drinking, my friends shit talk me about how I'm
not fun anymore.
Should I risk losing my friends to better my own life?
Yeah, I don't think you even have to lose them.
Just be like, yeah, just like, listen, I'm going to fucking die.
I don't want to look like W.C. Fields when I'm fucking 27.
Look, you can just stop drinking and then try to stay friends with those people.
And if they're not going to be friends with you, if alcohol was the only reason
why you're friends,
then you need to get some new friends.
And fortunately, you're only 26 years old, so you got plenty of time.
Plenty of time to find new friends.
At my age, it's hard to find new friends.
Because, you know, most of your good ones are dead.
And then people my age that are looking for friends, it's usually because they're
assholes.
And they got kicked out in their 30s and 40s with people that should have been
their lifelong friends.
Anyways, love the podcast and what you bring to the comedy scene.
Thanks and go fuck yourself.
All right.
I'm gradually learning how to speak English during this podcast.
Sherbet.
Sherbet.
And it's anyway.
Not anyways.
Anyways.